Alcoholism The deadly truth about its stigma
my dad
was the kindest most caring man i’ve
ever had the pleasure of knowing
he was a very sensitive man who would
tear up easily
i would always catch him secretly wiping
away a tear whenever he got emotional
he was a funny yorkshire man with the
quirkiest sense of humor
and above all of this i knew more than
anything
that the love he had for his family was
unmeasurable
now you’re probably wondering why am i
telling you this
why do we need to know your dad’s
personality for your tedx talk
but it’s so important that i tell you to
make my point the best i can
then you need to have a clear insight
into the man i called my dad
and a man people called steve because
quite often when i tell people that he
was an alcoholic
they have a very preconceived and
distorted vision
of how he may have come across
now before i go any further i would like
to ask you a question
and i want you to really think about
this and be absolutely unapologetically
honest with yourself
have you ever stereotyped an alcoholic
and by stereotype i mean have you ever
fought yourself
or allowed that alcoholics are weak
over-indulgent and a burden to the
health system
because if you find yourself nodding to
those
statements then i would like to say this
to you
perhaps alcoholism didn’t kill my dad
and maybe you did maybe i did
now go with me on this because i’m aware
of how bold that statement was
but the stigma and lack of awareness
around a very serious disease
ultimately caused my dad’s death
he was afraid to seek early intervention
and support
because in his own words he was ashamed
now there are three facts associated
with alcohol
and alcohol addiction that i must share
with you and i have broken them down
into three categories
danger dependence and disease
professor david nutts a world-renowned
professor of neuro psychopharma
neuropsychopharmacology
categorizes alcohol as the most
dangerous drug in the uk
beating crack and heroin because of the
harm it causes the user
but the repercussions it also has on
society
alcohol is one of a few substances
where withdrawal alone can directly kill
you
so to put it bluntly if you are
physically dependent on alcohol
and abruptly stop drinking then you’re
at significant risk of death
alcohol addiction is widely recognized
within the medical
industry as a disease a chronic
relapsing brain disorder
characterized by an impaired ability to
stop or control
alcohol use
now i’m not talking to you today from an
academic perspective
i’m not an expert within this area but
i’m coming from a lived
experience point of view i have
witnessed the stigma portrayed towards
an alcoholic
i’ve seen it i’ve felt it i’ve heard it
and i’ve been part of it but i was
wrong we were all wrong and i know that
now
so i stand here today to share with you
what i have learnt about alcohol
addiction
and hope that in doing so we can
contribute towards shifting society’s
mindset
so that we can empower alcoholics to
recovery
rather than shaming them into silence
and anonymity
my dad told me that he drank to forget
he drank to numb the overwhelming
anxiety
depression and ptsd he drank because his
generation
and many other generations taught him
that it was a weakness to discuss your
mental health
so he drowned out the noise with the
euphoric effects of alcohol instead
i hated him at times i was angry
i was bitter and i even went as far as
thinking that he was a weak and selfish
man who had no self-control
growing up my dad’s addiction was to be
unspoken of
don’t tell anyone don’t let anyone know
he drinks heavily
we didn’t even admit it to ourselves
looking back we were feeding the stigma
by staying quiet and not being his
advocate
we allowed him to get sucked into the
shame and humiliation that society
currently projects towards alcoholics
on the 31st of august 2017
he died as a result of excessive
drinking
shame and humiliation prevented my dad
from accessing supports
stigma was partly to blame for his death
now society often shifts culpability and
blames the alcoholic for their lack of
willpower
and this was evident in my dad’s case
following his death i was reminded that
he did it to himself
he only had himself to blame and it was
self-inflicted
now if we’re being technical then yes
perhaps it was self-inflicted
but does that same logic not apply to
other self-inflicted illnesses
because 90 of lung cancers
are caused by smoking a massive
contributing factor to developing type 2
diabetes
is diet and inactiveness
some of the most common illnesses
brought on by our lifestyle choices
are high cholesterol and high blood
pressure
if you suffered from one of those
illnesses
would you feel ashamed to seek medical
treatment
alcohol is a socially accepted easily
accessible
and legal substance and is part of most
people’s diets
yet we continue to shame those
who become addicted to its euphoric side
effects
as over-indulgent and weak we
shame them into remaining silent and
anonymous to protect their reputation
professor david nuts very powerfully
states
it’s not your fault you want to drink
alcohol
is a very powerful and addictive drug
that’s not only legal but enmeshed in
our everyday lives
you see my dad didn’t abuse alcohol
alcohol abused him and he was powerless
to do anything about it without clinical
professional help
it’s not as simple as having willpower
to just come off it
once you become physically dependent on
alcohol
it has gotten a hold of you and in order
to survive
you have no choice but to carry on
drinking until you access clinical
support
which means for the majority of
alcoholics
accessing that support is harder than
coping with the disease itself
let me put that into perspective for you
two weeks before my dad died i pleaded
with him to get help
but he wouldn’t he told me that it was
self-inflicted
that it was a weakness and that he
didn’t want to waste his doctor’s time
sadly it would seem that he is not alone
in that thought process
it is estimated that there are 1.6
million people
in the uk physically dependent on
alcohol
and less than a quarter of them are
seeking support
many alcoholics claim that stigma and
shame prevent them from recovering
now i am by no means suggesting that
society is responsible for the
alcoholism crisis upon us
i am perfectly aware that we can only
help so much
and that it is the sole responsibility
of an alcoholic to commit to recovery
but we can help in other ways for
starters
we can liberate them from the stigma by
showing genuine and sincere supports
we can empower them to seek treatment
and give them the encouragement to
recover
openly and freely without judgment
or stereotype the more shame we place
upon an alcoholic
will only feed their disease and the
vicious cycle will continue
if we are to move forward positively
then we need to change the way we view
alcoholism
so i come to you today as a daughter
a daughter of an alcoholic who had a
name
he was called steve
and he had a family who loved him
unconditionally
but he was failed significantly by
society’s cruel stereotype against him
if you take anything away from my talk
today
i hope that it’s empathy compassion
and an understanding that alcoholics are
not self-indulgent and weak
but they are fighting a daily battle to
survive
a deadly and often terminal disease
perhaps if collectively we can show more
encouragement and
understanding than those 1.6 million
dependent drinkers in the uk
may feel empowered to stay on track to a
wonderful life of sobriety
you