How I became a Makeup Artist Monk
Transcriber: Norika Yagi
Reviewer: Hiroko Kawano
Hello! My name is Kodo Nishimura.
I am a Buddhist monk, a makeup artist,
and also an LGBTQ activist.
As a makeup artist, I have worked
with celebrities and singers,
and also at the back stage
of Miss Universe competition.
As a Buddhist monk -
Well, I was born in this temple,
but when I was young,
I didn’t want to be a Buddhist monk.
People often asked me,
“Okay, so you have to be a monk, right?”
“Are you going to inherit the temple?”
And I hated that they expected
what I will become in the future.
I had questions like,
“Why do we have to chant?”
and “How can we be saved?”
and “Do I have to shave my head?”
I hated Buddhism.
So you might be wondering
why I became a makeup artist
and also a Buddhist monk.
Today, I will talk about a “hope”
that I discovered
through the process of becoming
a makeup artist and also a Buddhist monk.
When I was young,
I loved pink and Disney princesses.
At kindergarten, I used to wrap a cloth
around my head and loved twirling.
Not only did I role-play as Cinderella,
but I also helped other girls
to look like Cinderella.
There were many handmade skirts,
so I would tell them
to wear one around their waist
and another one around their head.
By helping other girls
to look like Cinderella,
I felt like their fairy godmother.
At elementary school, I started
to hang out with the boys as well,
wrestling, playing with mini-cars.
With the girls, I was playing
with Barbie dolls.
I felt that I can communicate
and empathize with both boys and girls.
Boys are often associated with blue
and girls with pink.
But I felt like purple,
blue and pink mixed together.
One time, all of the students needed
to order paint sets for art class,
and the only options
were either blue or pink.
I couldn’t identify myself with blue,
and I didn’t want to get pink either.
I wished there was a purple option.
This gap between boys and girls
became bigger as I grew older.
At high school, the boys
were only hanging out with the boys,
and the girls were only
hanging out with the girls.
Boys were always talking about baseball,
and I didn’t even care to learn the rules.
The girls were always
gossiping about the boys,
so to have me in their group
was so not cool.
So I became isolated.
I didn’t feel that I was “man enough”
or “woman enough.”
I wasn’t either blue nor pink.
I felt like a different type of gender,
maybe like yellow.
I was looking for an environment
where I can live as myself.
At that time, I started watching
a lot of American movies
because I thought maybe in the US,
I can be myself; people will
respect me for who I am.
So after graduating from high school,
I decided to study at a college in Boston.
My life in Boston became much freer.
I started wearing makeup as well.
I bought my first eyeliner and mascara.
Because in Boston, at makeup counters,
really made-up men and really glittered
transgender women would sell them,
so I felt welcomed to [buy makeup].
When I was in Japan,
the clerk would try to help me,
but she would ask me, “Okay, so is it
for your mother or your girlfriend?”
And I couldn’t say it was for me,
so I didn’t play with makeup in Japan.
But I learned that makeup
can actually make me confident.
Another happy thing, I made a friend!
I was so happy because I didn’t have
any friends at high school.
But I noticed there was something
wrong with her makeup.
She was putting on blue eyeshadow
without looking at a mirror,
so there was a gap between
her eyelash and the eyeshadow.
I wasn’t an expert of makeup back then,
but I knew that it was a big no-no.
So one night, I decided to do her makeup.
When I did her makeup,
she transformed so much,
and we were both so excited!
She was like, “Oh, I look like this!?”
She was a shy person,
but I could feel
her confidence was lifted.
And what was so interesting
was that even after the makeup
was washed away,
her confidence was not washed away;
it was still there.
At that time, I only knew
how to do eyeliner and mascara,
but if I know how to do eyeshadow,
foundation, or lipstick,
I knew I could make her
even more confident.
My fairy-godmother spirit was burning up.
And that was the beginning
of my makeup artistry.
Later, I moved to New York
to study at art school.
That’s when I started
to assist a makeup artist.
Living in New York,
where everybody is so diverse,
the culture is so colorful,
I realized that everybody’s different.
So it’s okay to be me.
I gained confidence
to dress myself freely,
including wearing jewelry and heels.
After graduating from the art school,
I was thinking, “What
should I do with my life?”
Because I was born in a temple,
inheriting the temple
was one of the options.
But I didn’t know enough about Buddhism.
So in order to solve
all the questions I had,
I decided to join the monk training.
(Door sounds)
When I joined the monk training,
it was tough.
We had to wake up
at around 5:30 every morning
and chant really loud
with our legs crossed.
(Chanting)
(Chanting ends)
Like this, for about an hour to two hours,
five times every day
for two to three weeks.
So I lost my voice, and I was coughing.
But the teacher was so scary,
and he would yell at me to chant loud.
One time I went to the restroom,
and I spat, and I saw blood.
We also learned about
many precepts, such as:
Monks do not wear makeup,
do not wear accessories,
do not watch dance,
do not listen to music,
and do not sleep on high beds.
Really? Are these relevant today?
It sounded so illogical to me.
And I wear makeup and heels!
Do I have to quit being who I am
once I become a Buddhist monk?
(Chanting)
(Bell chimes)
We also learned about
many choreographies and rituals,
and I noticed some of them
are divided into man and woman.
But I don’t know if I’m a man or a woman.
I might be both.
I thought, by me becoming a Buddhist monk,
I might degrade
the impression of Buddhism.
Maybe I’m going to offend the other monks
because of my existence.
Then I don’t want to be a monk.
In the end of the training,
there was a well-known,
well-respected master
who came to our temple to teach,
so I decided to ask him.
He said,
“The most important message of Buddhism
is that everybody can be equally saved.
Sexuality, gender - it doesn’t matter.
Also, Japanese Buddhism has evolved,
and some of the monks
are also teachers, also doctors,
and they wear watches
or different clothing
depending on what they do.
So if it helps you
to spread the message of equality,
I don’t think you wearing
something shiny as a problem.”
I was saved by his logical, flexible,
and forward-thinking answer.
As I was struggling,
I know there are many people
who are feeling obligated
to fit into either man or woman
or feeling pressured
to have to follow the rules.
He also talked about Amida Sutra.
It talks about heavenly pure land,
and it says:
“Red lotus flower should shine in red,
blue lotus flower should shine in blue,
yellow lotus flower
should shine in yellow,
and white lotus flower
should shine in white.”
Which means, all the diverse people,
all the different personalities,
they should shine in their own color.
When I was hating Buddhism
for about 20 years,
I learned that Buddhism was actually
supporting me since 2000 years ago.
By this process of becoming
a Buddhist monk and a makeup artist,
I discovered that there is a hope
and potential hidden in unique colors.
For example, I used to feel like purple
because I am both blue and pink.
I am both man and woman.
If purple exists,
it can be a bridge between blue and pink.
It can connect different people.
Another example: I also felt like yellow.
If yellow exists, by collaborating
with blue, it can create green.
If yellow exists, by collaborating
with pink, it can create orange.
And orange and green are the colors
that were not possible if not for yellow.
I used to feel inferior of my sexuality
and tried to hide it,
but I noticed that because I am different,
I can be a hope or potential.
The key is to realize that our own
unique color is a hope,
and it’s a great thing.
(Music)
And now I’ve found my mission.
My mission is to protect
all the colors of different people
and help them to shine in their own color.
I started doing LGBTQ-friendly
makeup seminar.
I have an opportunity
to help a transgender woman
shine in her own color.
As a Buddhist monk, I have started talking
that everybody and anybody
can be equally saved at different temples.
I might be using new
makeup cosmetic product
or ancient, old Buddhist wisdom,
but I’m using them with the same spirit.
And there is something only I can do
because I am both a makeup artist
and a Buddhist monk.
So now I would like to ask you,
“What is your true color?”
and, “How do you want to shine
in your own color?”