Befriending Jealousy
[Music]
what if i tell you that
jealousy is actually a good thing
when i was a kid my mom always told me
honey i would love to see you as a
doctor when you grow up
but sometimes it went like a content
would be perfectly fit for you
i don’t know she wanted me to be
everything anything
except for the only thing that took my
interest
modeling i was so obsessed
with how gracefully and powerfully the
model struck down the international
runway
i remember one day i was watching a
random youtube video
i was so amazed by the scenes of
victoria’s secret models
with fit bodies wavy hair and huge wings
they look godly and all of the sudden
i realized that this is my dream
this is what i want i desperately wanted
my heart was set on this on becoming a
victoria is a good model
so how to become one of them i asked
myself
ah i’ll google every requirement needed
so here’s what i found height 170
to 185 checked
perfect i’m right in between
bust 86 oh my god of the victoria that
you’re looking for
waist 61. i was a bit chubby at that
time
but gyms and word count will help right
so 61 is the can hips
well 90 i was a bit
bigger but they won the hourglass body
so
perfect checked small nose
full lips high cheekbones all check
inner beauty well i guess they are
talking about
personality right well
i am quite well mannered so check
agency i heard that
i have to sign with an international
modeling agency
oh they have online registration so it’s
again i just need to
send them all my photos so it’s um
one two three four five
five out of seven oh my god
it’s already more than a half i’m so
close to where i wanna be
but then i read a newspaper
saying that most victoria’s secret
models
are discounted at a very early age 13
to 15 years old which is the same as me
at that time but why am i here i’m not
scouted yet
this is so unfair okay
maybe i need to work more on my body
measurement
and i desperately need to sign within
modeling agency
so i went working out four hours a day
calculating every single calorie that i
take in
watching countless tutorials on how to
walk and pose
like a model and trying to be competent
in english
just to make sure that i can communicate
with the agency
so after three months i got the desired
body management
i am so proud of myself
and this is the last step signing with
an agency
so i spend hours writing a proper email
and send all of my photos to as many
agencies as possible
oh my god i’m so close to where i dream
to be
oh my god this is so close i’m getting
there
and that thought went with me to my
sleeve
it was it going in my sleeve it felt
just
so real and the next morning
when i wake up i open my mail oh my god
all the mails that i received
i couldn’t believe in my eyes anymore it
was bills from my online shop
and the next morning no new email and
the day after that
emails from school i kept waiting
waiting and waiting but such emails
have never arrived in my inbox i was so
sad so upset after all of the effort i
put into this i got nothing back
just so unfair so evil to me cannot
accept that
but then i received praises
from people around me they told me that
oh you look so fit lately you should
try to take part in a beauty pageant oh
your english sounds so much better right
now
and not until that time that i realized
that
it was fair i got something in return
i have better health i got the body
measurement that i wanted at the first
place my english has improved
i got something in return and
finally it took me to where i am right
now missile vietnam 2019
is not the exact destination that i
wanted at the first place but
it was so acceptable
so however i did a poll on my social
media lately i was asking
if people thought envy was bad or good
so the result is not so surprising
more than 80 percent of the reply told
me that they thought
envy was evil so
what is the difference
between the jealousy in my case i was so
envious with
the young girls winning a spot at
victory secret lineup
and the envy and the thought so i came
up with the two names for them
the first one is evil envy and the
second one is joyful jealousy
evil envy is when you view those who are
superior to you
as your enemies all you want to do to
them
is bringing them down playing tricks on
them to make them struggle
or even breaking their neck just to undo
their achievements
imagine having a friend
who has better results at school better
performance school than you
and all you want to do is try to break
his hand
or do anything just to leave him with no
chance of receiving good scores
his failure is your happiness
and you think that you believe that your
happiness
will increase only if his happiness
decreases
on the other hand joyful jealousy is
instead of hatred
you think of others accomplishments
as motivation something that push you
forward
and make you strive for
with this kind of mentality your
relationship
with envy is a healthy one your focus is
on yourself
on improving yourself and pulling
yourself toward
a newer high
so this reminds me of a saying
of nature envy drives us to be
better people because through envy we
admit what we are missing
so let’s revisit my example i was so
envious of the victorious great models
of the young girls who win a spot at
victoria’s secret
lineup but instead of letting the
negative
thoughts and comparisons consume me
i try to find out what i was missing and
work on it
to become a better version of myself
so now that you know that envy and
jealousy
is actually good things and it seasons
our life
now you must be wondering how to make
how to cook the best dishes
with this spice i know that you get envy
looking at the photos of the super rich
and famous people
on social media or anyone who is better
than you at your crafts
but remember all that you can see is
just the tip of the iceberg
all that you can see is the gains but
what you cannot observe
is their pains the sacrifices and
all the work that they put behind it
for example it’s very easy for you
all to see glamorous photos of mine on
my social media platforms
but what i’m hiding what you can never
see
is my opportunity costs they are the
sleepless nights
the broken relationships the
deteriorating health
the the constant traveling the flying
back and forth
even every single day so
it was quite exhausting but yeah i
accept it
now that you have looked at the
underlying parts of others
let’s take a glance at yourself as human
beings
we always have the tendency to look at
others accomplishments
and to compare them with ours and we
tell ourselves
i am not enough but you should also be
introspective
and to see actually you have already
walked a long way
and comparing yourself to more skillful
more talented
people at your field and striving to be
on par with them which is human nature
to deprive yourself of envy is actually
losing on losing an important part of
our self
competition without it
we can never grow we can never know that
we can be better than who we are right
now and that we can never grow
they always say that don’t compare
yourself to others
don’t be jealous but please just do
put yourself and others on a scale
and let your anger fuel your drive
but at the same time be aware of the
opportunity cost
that they have to pay for whatever they
are having
and how far you’ve gone to now
i dare you all to be jealous
joyfully jealous thank you
you