My Trauma is Not a Trend
[Music]
my trauma
is not a trend when i look to my left
and i look to my right
i see a lot of new faces have joined
this fight and it feels so good to see
you
welcome thank you so tell me what do you
see
is it the same energy or was it just a
trend
because when i scroll down my timeline i
see a lot of people
fighting to get back to normal and trust
me i get it
i want to enjoy life too but on june 2nd
2020
when we all posted those black squares
and people were pledging their
solidarity
i thought the point was that we all
recognized that there was a need for
change and we can’t go back to that
normal
that normal wasn’t respecting me regis
didn’t matter in that normal
that normal is killing us
and as you fight to get back to what was
i’m fighting to elevate your thoughts on
what could be
see we’re on the verge of something big
massive
huge we have the opportunity to be a
part of one of the most transformative
times in history
a moment in time that could be
remembered in history books as people
who truly fought for change
this is an opportunity and i’m going to
say that a few times
and if we take this opportunity we can
make some significant steps towards
equality
but it’ll take extraordinary effort to
achieve
such extraordinary results now
i truly believe that this unrest and
discomfort
represents our growing pains as a
society
and that if we all do our part there can
be great discovery in this discomfort
now i never thought
i’d see this chance for change in my
lifetime and as a matter of fact i spent
many years building up a wall around me
to protect me
developing a threshold of tolerance to
mistreatment
harassment just to get me through so as
much as this
excites me it also terrifies me
because my trauma just cannot
be a trend from a young age
i was well aware of what being black
meant and that we’re not treated equal
now the law says we’re equal but in
practice
nothing could be further from the truth
before i ever
opened my mouth teachers classmates
even friends parents automatically made
sweeping judgments about me
and you see if you’re not a person of
color it’s hard to truly understand how
diminishing this is
i know that until i open my mouth and
articulate myself
there is an imposed feeling of being
lesser than
which doesn’t get any easier even when
you’re 35 years old
in north america our society is built on
white supremacy
think about that for a minute now i’m
not saying that everyone subscribes to
the extreme end of the spectrum
but everyone has biases that are
ingrained in us from a very young age
now you may not think you use your white
privilege
but are you willing to lose your white
privilege
as a kid i learned very quickly to tone
down everything i said and did
i didn’t want to feed into the
stereotypes i didn’t want to be labeled
as a troublemaker
or give anyone a reason to write me off
see even my hair i didn’t lock my hair
for years because i didn’t want to lose
out on getting hired
somewhere and i tried once i tried twice
i tried three times to get on tv and i
never got hired and i said you know what
forget it whatever
no tv for me i’m just gonna be me i’m
gonna lock my hair
so i decided to lock my hair in this uh
november of 2010
and i’ll tell you what god is good
because i got hired to be the host of
rap city in december of the same year
luckily for me i had a strong black
woman i called mother
and i grew up in the house with four
women
who constantly gave me the pep talks
that i had to work twice as hard be
twice as talented
have manners pray and dress well
see i was taught to survive survive in a
system that doubts me first
i’ve been conditioned to mute myself and
maybe if i’m really polite
and present myself as harmless and speak
with less boy
base in my voice i’ll grow up to survive
a traffic stop
now but for real my mom did what she had
to do my mom gave me the tools to
survive and i’m so
grateful but to me i’m fighting for
equality now
and equality means that i will not be
teaching my daughter to work twice as
hard
for any other reason than that that’s
what she has to offer the world
even in high school i had to pick my
battles if someone said something racist
ugh something i would think about
jay-z’s line where he said
a wise man told me don’t argue with
fools because people from a distance
can’t tell who is who
and i’m a big boy so i stood up for
myself but there were certain times that
i was guilty of just not
wanting to bother you see i guess i’ve
always just had this choice
stand up for myself and be damned for
being that big angry black guy
or sacrifice my voice and ride out the
discomfort
be complicit to my own demise
and if you think about it is that even
really a choice you’re damned if you do
damned if you don’t
and my life has been a constant battle
of choosing between the lesser of those
two evils
but every time i bit my tongue
i was unknowingly killing my own truth
so as a grown man when i was asked
a simple question on national television
tyrone how are you
for once
i told my truth
with 10 years of experience in front of
the camera
i could have responded with countless
replies
that would have been safe and expected
but in that moment i decided to unmute
myself
i decided to speak up for all the times
that i didn’t
for all of those who couldn’t and what
seemed like an emotional breakdown on
national television
was actually my greatest personal
breakthrough
the endless microaggressions the extreme
trauma of observing the murder of
innocent black people all around me
and then somehow most of my white
counterparts not all
that are usually up on everything just
didn’t notice
or at least they weren’t as upset as i
was about it
and it had finally taken its toll
see i didn’t plan to go on national
television and cry my eyes out that day
but it felt like a lifetime of
suppressing my true feelings
was pouring out and this time i wasn’t
concerned about how i looked
i went with how i felt
all the things i had worked so hard not
to do
not to ruffle any feathers not to get
too
angry not to cry
ironically i was finally
liberated as the angry black man
hashtag angry black man until this day
every week a complete stranger
a man will walk up to me and say i saw
your segment tyrone
thank you i cried with you
only three years ago there were three
words that could silence a room
people looked at you crazy if you said
it like why are you saying that
you guys know what those three words
were
black lives matter and on june 2nd of
2020 there was an obvious shift
an awareness and awakening it’s not
political
it’s not selfish it’s not aggressive
it’s just true people hear systemic
racism
and they have the same initial reaction
today
what do you mean is it is it really
racist t is is
it’s not systemic see these systems
aren’t against you and i respond
and i say look the systems aren’t for us
they don’t include us
so therefore they are when i heard
anthony anderson make a joke at the 2020
emmys
saying that this would have been the
blackest emmys ever because it had been
the most
black people nominated ever because
and everybody was excited but it’s a
pandemic
so everybody had to stay home and he
said
but it’s all good because you guys
couldn’t light us anyways
you guys couldn’t light us anyways it
made me think wow
this is the black experience across the
board for example
i’ve held up a number of shoots over the
years because of lighting issues
you can be a licensed hair stylist and
not be required to know how to work with
my texture
you can be a makeup artist for the stars
and never have to learn how to do my
makeup without making me look
gray or orange i just
i just want to be brown y’all i just
want to be brown i want to walk into the
makeup room
and leave brown the fact that we’re not
included is why we say systemic racism
if a system excludes you based on your
race it is
now as a result that adds an extra layer
to our days just making things that much
heavier and less enjoyable
and it’s a reminder that not only is
there not too many
people around that look like you but
really you’re lucky to even be there
because not really meant to be
another thing we’ve all heard recently
is amplifying black voices
i just want to say that respecting my
voice is the first step before wanting
to amplify it
so understanding me is far more
important than pitying me
we aren’t looking for handouts or
hand-me-downs just hire the qualified
people
and there’s a commitment now to hire
bi-pac which is needed
and welcomed but it also hurts because
it’s a reminder that
tanya may very well have been a good
candidate
but wasn’t white for the job i mean
sorry right for the job
i need you to understand that black
people we aren’t where we are
in society because we’re lazy no
we’ve been strategically limited to
resources looked over for promotions in
the workplace
denied loans and crippled by our postal
codes
so before you amplify my voice i just
want you to be aware of what
we’ve been going through what our
mothers and fathers were up against my
mother has worked
three jobs at times my uncle worked for
nasa as an award-winning engineer
i had friends that were in and out of
jail my auntie was a nurse
for 30 years my neighbor was one of the
most highly recruited basketball players
in high school
but i want to tell you this they were
all racially profiled followed in a
store
denied loans and even the basic decency
at the emergency room or even common
courtesy while doing groceries
i say all that because you can only be
as compassionate as you are
understanding so i need you to
understand how difficult it is for me
to even be here today there’s no clear
path for me
but somehow they’re roadblocks so what
can you do
on june 2nd we’ve seen a lot of these
black squares
and i appreciate it i hope it was a
catalyst for you to learn
listen share because sharing is key
but this is a perfect segue for me to
quickly discuss
theory versus the practical see the
theory
only required you to make statements the
practical
is requiring you to take action the
theory is acknowledging systemic racism
and police brutality as an ongoing
problem
the practical is being willing to do
something about it
theory i am not racist practical
i am anti-racist the theory is
comforting
but the practical is when we apply it to
our own lives and only then does it
become
liberating and impactful
starting with yourself what do you
believe what do you stand for
teach your children to love themselves
and others and if you share the desire
for
change let that be reflected in the
spaces you occupy
the roles you play and the decisions you
have a hand in making
we are all cautious of the unknown but
let’s agree to acknowledge what is known
blacks are not in a position to win we
are structurally not intended to contend
we are resilient yes but the goal is to
level the playing field
in all aspects of life the thought that
after
all this that we just tire and go back
to normal that scares me
because that’s the history of this
struggle
that’s also the privilege afforded to
everyone
but black people
we have no excuse
we have science and technology we should
have the humanity
we are able to make some significant
changes in the world before
our official restart another shot at
this
more conscious of humanity and our
environment
because trust me we have failed at both
pre-covet
i am fueled by love driven by hope
and i know change is hard it can be
uncomfortable it can be
unfamiliar but as i go through my own
evolution
i see it mirrored in the world around me
and i’m sensing that we’re on the verge
of a whole
new standard
i pray that you will not pass
on this opportunity the world needs
change
our children are watching life
depends on it my trauma is not a trend
thank you one love