Invisible No More 5 Steps to being your best self
[Applause]
thank you
thank you everybody i’d like to start
off with an
intention an intention that i hope
you’ll
join me in doing let’s connect with our
breath
to center to ground you’ll find out why
in a minute
so let’s count breathing in for three
one two three
and exhaling for a count of four one
two three four
breathing like this calms our mind and
relaxes our nervous system
it’s good for us but how often do we do
it
just notice how you’re feeling that
you’ve taken this deep breath in
and out our breath enables us to clear
the fog in our mind
and raise our consciousness over what is
not serving us
and what is serving us
and after the year that we’ve had and
the pandemic
this is one simple gift that you can
give yourself
your breath as higher education and life
continues to adjust to the new normal
never has there been a better time to
focus take stock and reflect on all of
the lessons learnt
all of the wisdom that you’ve gathered
each and every one of you
and continue to breathe
the climate forced us into action
propelling our activator muscles and
giving us
no choice but to innovate and create
under such humongous pressure
often we were reacting from a place of
fear and obligation
there was no time we had to deliver
people were expecting results
at the same time coveted made us look at
our lives and our relationships
at a microscopic level
what were we eating what were we
drinking what were we wearing
what are we long for what did we miss
what did we have and what didn’t we have
we are all such doing creatures with an
appetite of being busy of
activating of delivering of making an
impact
but often for many of my clients
globally
and for the students that i come across
and also the professors that i come
across
and myself at times it can leave us
feeling stressed
and burnt out we are exhausted
we’re just so busy doing we’re not
busy being
if we were to relish in the art of being
it would be called dolce fanente
in italian which is the sweetness
of doing nothing
we are flooded with 2.5 quintillion bits
of
information every day yet we are
lonelier
than we have ever been
so i’m going to ask you a few questions
now and if you want to write some things
down you can
if you want to reflect you can
how many of you struggle to make time
for yourself through all of this
and i wonder how did that leave you
feeling
how did the feeling of knowing
that you were on this hamster wheel of
doing
sit in your body where was that
feeling located
and what is at stake if you continue to
operate like this
yes clearly you’ve produced results
however what was the impact on your mind
and your body
and within yourself were you at your
best
were you really at your best when you
went to sleep at night
did you feel elated or were you just
exhausted
could you say that you were honestly
being authentic to yourself
these questions interest me and as a
psychologist have always done so for as
long as i can remember
i’ve been fascinated with the power that
we have as humans
our mind our potential all that it can
conceive all that it can create all that
we can manifest
we have so much within us to do that the
perspectives we take
the attitudes we form and our overall
attitude and state of being
a lot of it had to do with my
grandmother here she is
her name was devi which means goddess in
sanskrit
she played a huge part in my life
raising me
for 30 years of my life yes that does
make me over 30.
can you believe it nani practiced
meditation twice a day
and i loved how grounded and calm she
always seemed
it made me feel so safe and loved
she had lived through a lot of her life
from being a refugee at the age of 10
and losing her husband when she was just
19
moving to england from india completely
illiterate
not knowing how to read or write english
but somehow she made it work
she not only survived but she thrived
she had a tenacity that was calm and
rare
by observing her at such close proximity
it was like conducting a longitudinal
research
observational research from my living
room sofa
subconsciously nani’s teachings resided
in my mind and inspired me to go and do
my first
and my second degree in psychology it’s
what i’ve used over the years with my
clients and also on myself to unlock the
potential
to open the doors for people where they
feel they cannot get ahead
however getting onto my degrees was not
smooth sailing
i went on and i went on and her
teachings really helped me to get there
as time’s gone on i have worked with
hundreds of individuals
in the midst of their own life pandemics
and i have distilled five ways
that each and every one of us whether
we’re a child or an adult
whether we’re a professional or we’re an
at-home mum or dad
connect with your inner peace at times
of absolute chaos
how we can access our calm to be fully
present
and authentic to who we are
unprecedented times give us such a
unique opportunity to reflect
and there’s something truly beautiful
and deepening
when we explore the wisdom that we’ve
gathered
sometimes the hard times and the pain
can be our absolute strength
and if we’re able to leverage from that
place
there’s potential which is awaiting
identifying with mind body
heart breath and truth will enable you
to stand in your chaos
and not be a part of it it will
simultaneously
keep you in absolute connectivity with
yourself
so let’s start with mind my narrative is
my
choice when you are focused on the mind
by the way these are all friends mind
body heart breath truth that you have
within you
we don’t need to go to a mall to get
these things we don’t have to pay anyone
to give us
these things we have each of us have
these gifts within us
we just need to access them so for mind
it’s to reflect in the moment
what am i noticing what am i thinking
what is my belief system
how aware am i of that little niggling
voice in my head
is it being kind or critical listen to
that voice right now
what are you telling yourself are you
focused on
inwards or are you focused on outwards
mckinsey coined a term called
integrative awareness
which is being aware of the changing
reality on the outside of us
the staying calm despite the pressure
if you are easily provoked you are easy
to control detach with compassion
and you can see a plethora of
opportunity
open up in front of you when you
contemplate these questions and
consciously detach
it makes you more resilient and
adaptable
to take on the knocks that life might
throw at you
body i honor and respect
my body how is your vitality
the harvard business school coined four
types of vitality
leadership vitality they studied
astronauts in space and found
what was the very minimum that they
needed to do to stay
agile fit and full of vitality in space
and they found that there were four
types of vitality and they all come
under the umbrella of
body spiritual vitality
mental vitality emotional vitality
and physical vitality how is your
vitality
did you exercise today for a minimum of
30 minutes
did you run stretch do a mindful walk
psychologists have found that when we
when we experience failure whether it’s
in life or academia or at work or in
general
we tend to self-silence and hide away
these experiences
these are expressed as tensions shame
and guilt
which reside in the geographies of our
body
exercise provides a beautiful release
cathartic release from the tension that
we’re holding on to
raising the quality of our sleep the
quality of our lives and experiences
and reducing stress and ultimately
making us live longer
heart your heart shape
is as distinctive as your fingerprint
you are special and the wisdom exists
within you cardiologists have found that
our heart is the only muscle
in our body that imprints the story of
our life
ask yourself how am i feeling right now
what are what are you what am i
struggling to let go of
what are you holding on to what does
your intuition tell you
a recent study by bagel and denise
showed that intuitive responses are
based on correct
logical responses from the start which
means
we should absolutely trust our intuition
so if that little voice in our mind
when we stop to listen is telling us
to do something that we’re not doing or
to face something that we’re not
facing this is based on absolute logic
let’s stop doing and let’s start being
so we can actually
access this wisdom this golden nuggets
of wisdom that reside in our mind
that’s giving us the direction that we
absolutely need
as the world changes around us at rapid
speed
are you driven by the word on the street
and what everyone thinks is right and
what you should be doing or something
deeper like an insight that’s helped you
carry the light through
a dark time
this is a great way of acknowledging
yourself
breath i feel calmer and peaceful with
each breath that i take
how much do you use your prana prana is
a sanskrit
term for life force energy
simply put our breath
anchoring as deeply as you can with your
breath by the way are you still
breathing
i hope so in for three and out for four
deep abdominal breathing makes us very
mindful to the moment
which is now this is where we have the
most power
this moment is where we have the most
influence
right now shapes tomorrow
when we focus on our breath we improve
our balance
we activate our parasympathetic nervous
system
which relaxes us it gets us in a better
mood
so if you find yourself feeling
frustrated or negative
take a couple of deep breaths and anchor
yourself you will find
that things shift around for you for the
better
conscious breath work will lead to
higher levels of insight
when you become conscious of your
breasts
you lose the risk of getting any disease
breathe it until you feel it
truth i have the power to go
within before reacting how true
are you to yourself remember you’ve got
the answers
what are your beliefs and values and how
conscious are you to them
have you ever written them down how
honest are you about your reality
is it serving you is it working for you
or is it a little bit uncomfortable
do you lean into things that you
struggle to face
or do you move away what is the idea
that you’ve been trying to burst but no
one’s listening
don’t give up face your truth
your hair for a reason
by aligning our mind body heart breath
and truth you reach a place of knowing
a feeling of doing what is authentic to
you
when you connect with yourself then the
environment starts to connect with you
but you see how it all links into you
being present
and connected to yourself first and
foremost
so as the structures and the systems
that we once knew fall down around
us this is the perfect time
to recognize the system that exists
right within you it won’t leave you
in fact it’s always been there right
under your nose
and will continue to be there for as
long as you live
paying attention to this system makes
you more agile
it makes you more resilient it makes you
clearer
it makes you healthier when we are
mindful of our five
friends mind body heart breath
and truth we stop doing and we start
being
we really have the ownership and the
power
to create the reality and the future
that we would like to
see
so i’d like you to question your
limiting beliefs
top up your vitality listen to your
intuition
anchor in your breath and act from a
place of self-integrity
let us not search for an external fix
but identify with a solution
from a place of serenity that always
and already resides in us now
thank you
you