Traumatic Brain Injury And Giving Up Traumas Burden
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[Applause]
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ah
seven years ago i was a freshman in
college as
a pre-med student i had everything going
for me
i was smart athletic and
well of course pretty good looking
then one night i was hit by a drunk
driver while crossing the street
i suffered the most severe
brain injury my doctors have ever seen
you know i was given a 4
chance for survival and
instantly my entire ability to function
and everything i learned in 18 years was
gone my kids refer to me
as mom my still pretty good looking
nephew
connor here calls me emmy emmy
basically they’re one and the same
so when my sister called me in the
middle of the night
seven years ago to inform me that conor
had had this awful accident
i was overcome i was confused
i just couldn’t place it
i was lost why could this even happen
i’d say our world was in pretty bad
shape i was um actually
in place in an induced coma for two
weeks
when i opened my eyes it was not like a
soap
opera where the guy asked in a shocked
way
what happened i was literally
in the same infancy
i may have had my eyes open but i was
not mentally present
or aware of anything around me for years
my life had been erased
conor’s injury pulled the rug out from
everything i thought i knew about life
i had to place it somehow so i started
writing
at that time social media was not in my
wheelhouse but i knew early on
that this was a story that needed to be
told
our family resilience was only part of
what i observed
so i started a daily journal rather than
rest
in rage that this had even happened
i chose to focus on the good and the
optimism
and the trust that we had that conor
would prevail
make no mistake though we knew his
restoration
wouldn’t be easy we had to set a
bold determination and in doing so
we had to find something positive to
bridge
every day even when we had no
idea what was in store
i envisioned there would come a time
when conor
would reawaken and gain his awareness
back
and then he could read about his
incredible journey
i committed to be the storyteller
however despite the fact that i was
doing the writing
every day conor was my inspiration
people started reading my daily
reflections
this safe space to share hardship
became therapeutic readers
reflected similar messages from their
own struggles
which then strengthened us
soon my words reached thousands
and thousands reached us in return
with transparency and honesty
and authenticity brain injury
is the worst invisible injury
besides not having the ability to
walk talk swallow or
even think i lost myself
i didn’t have awareness of time or my
feelings
i didn’t even know when i was hungry for
pete’s sake
if it were snowing outside i would have
said we were in the middle of summer
nothing made sense in my brain to the
world
i was disconnected from reality
i was also incapable of doing anything
physically or mentally
therapy sessions were grueling
for example early on conor’s feet
would be strapped to a stationary bike
the blinking red light indicated the
machine was pedaling
for him but we were there with him
encouraging him hoping somewhere in his
disconnected brain he could literally
remember
how to ride a bike the red light
unwavered day after day
after day but then
during one such session for an instant
a green light flickered just for an
instant
which meant that conor peddled on his
own
the celebration in the therapy room was
quite the spectacle
it’s a good thing you weren’t really
aware because you would have been
totally embarrassed
but we were so elated because we knew
that if conor did something once he
could do it again
and again and again
that day was easy to write about
but there were other days and weeks when
we felt nothing happened
progress felt fleeting and slow
on those days all we could do
was be with connor and remind him
that his home was right there with us
being physically home is one thing but
being mentally home
is quite another bringing me home was
synonymous
with reconnecting my body and mind
my left hand literally did not recognize
what the wright was doing
and if there’s any type of therapy or
rehab out there
you can pay your bomb dollar i did it
all of them contributed to waking me up
again
i couldn’t do a whole lot of the grand
scheme of things
however i could recite every lyric
to dave matthews song so they are lucky
you know it’s a funny thing with the
healing mind pics and chooses
to remember one way or another
we were determined to bring conor home
in all ways
focusing on the good was much more
powerful
than surrendering to sorrow go conor go
became our mantra soon
the power of our light-filled messages
went viral
you had no idea you were such a rock
star but you were
i can attest to how difficult this
journey home
has been with each victory
in celebration in therapy there have
been setbacks
joyfulness was humbled by heartbreak
but i can also tell you that every time
conor suffered a setback something
unexpected happened to reset our hope
like the time conor suffered his first
seizure after his accident
as blindsiding and traumatic as that was
the next day i’m not kidding you the
next day
he started talking for the first time in
months
and he hasn’t really stopped talking
ever since
now now i know he shared this remarkable
story with you
but there are still lingering effects
i have i’m sure some of you have already
noticed
i have a bit of a speech impediment
directly related to my brain injury
i had a car that says brain jury
survivor
so as the police pull me over i can
prove i haven’t been drinking
you don’t know how many times you accuse
me of being drunk
he meant the morning conor’s story
is remarkable given that 4
chance for survival the fact
that he could stand upon this stage
might have been laughable to many a
doctor
early on in giving his prognosis to my
sister
told her that conor would never be able
to be left alone
he won’t know what to do the doctor said
if the house catches on fire
but what doubters didn’t understand were
two things
first conor’s grit
continues to defy all expectations
and second our family commitment
to seeing him from then until now
was greater than any brain injury
oh yeah i mean i brought that doctor who
advised i could never be left alone
well in fact my house
was struck by lightning and did burn to
the ground
but don’t worry guys i was the first one
out of the house
with my dogs that’s
unbelievable for those of you
who have been swept up by uninvited
circumstance
this is what we have learned
don’t keep it to yourself open
your aching heart and let good
seep through the cracks of your heart
brokenness
so that good can rise love will find you
if you let it writing about conor’s
journey
reminded me that at the end of
any day no matter what
good can prevail and love really can
heal
i agree love does you
i just wish it didn’t take its sweet old
time
the past few years have not been easy on
me
brain rehab is not quick
similar to how trees grow there is no
rushing the sphere of nature to do its
job
it just takes time
i’ve realized i’ve defied all
expectations
and from the day i gained awareness this
is what i believe not many people
are lucky enough to be born twice
every day even now
i choose not to offer myself up to the
burden
i will not be limited by circumstances
given to me i can be shared with the
world through
writing is now my turn to pass that
baton of goodness
onto as many as possible
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you