Why Breaking Barriers is a Balancing Act
[Music]
hello everyone so
let me take you to this journey so if i
asked you to close your eyes and
visualize
breaking barriers what would that look
like for you
would you think about this strong and
graceful stallion
galloping through the fields breaking
barriers into
the vistas of freedom or would it be
this person wading through the waves
with his arms
stretched towards the sky surrendering
himself
to the limitless breaking barriers
of time and space or would it be this
little girl
who’s crossing the strawberry fields to
come across the
fence pause and then turn around
not knowing what lies beyond but knowing
that’s a barrier better not broken
what does breaking barriers truly really
mean
so my dad was one of five boys and when
my grandmother
announced to the whole world that she
would
this is when my mom was at the hospital
about to give birth to me
she announced to the whole world that
she would distribute sweet treats to
the entire neighborhood if a girl was
born
and not even bother visiting at the
hospital if it was the boy
so then i was born and at a societal
time when the girl child was
not that celebrated i felt like i broke
barriers just by merely being born
and remained my grandmother’s absolute
favorite grandchild
through her remaining years and as i
grew up she told me
that people around me took decisions for
my life because i didn’t know what else
to do
but in your life make sure that you
create your own choices
and you determine your own decisions
so she broke those barriers for me
my dad raised me as an individual and
never
as a daughter or a girl child so if
there was something that i couldn’t do
it was because of situations or
circumstances
or my lack of capabilities and never
because of who i was as a gender
so growing up i really didn’t know that
barriers existed
much because my family and my parents
made sure that i didn’t see them
in my growing years i also had this
tremendous
honor and opportunity to meet with
and to volunteer with mother teresa at
nirmal riddha which is her hospice free
hospice for
the sick the poor and the underserved
there i
saw how that institution was breaking
barriers of
gender culture nationalities religion
every single
day just by offering their love
and their service
and being exposed to that for even a
brief period of time
i realized that as individuals as human
beings
we create our own barriers
whether it be physical or metaphoric
so i took all of that all of those
experiences and then
became the first person and the first
girl in my family
to cross thousands of miles several
years ago
to come here i still remember my first
day at the college cafeteria when
i was nervously browsing through the
food and this
really tall classmate of mine six fit
six inches tall guy
he approached me and eased me in
with a friendly casual conversation
and it’s at that moment i realized that
we
all may talk different or look different
but at the end of the day we all
think smile love and connect
the same way so i took that and then
i decided to break down my own
boundaries
of the fear of inclusion and just kept
opening myself to possibilities and
people
and every step of the way i felt
incredibly supported by my wig mates in
life
starting from my grandmother so i became
that stallion
so life was steadily pacing along at
this point when
my mother got diagnosed with ovarian
cancer
and within a year of her diagnosis she
passed away
so the barriers in the walls that i did
not know existed
just kept building around me with a
series of personal events that were
happening to me
in my life at that point one after the
other
after the other after the other
these deep and dark walls of depression
just kept growing bigger
and larger but it is also
through this deep journey that i
stumbled upon
my passion and my true purpose
in life and that’s huge i realized that
i needed to give up my corporate career
to create this foundation this ovarian
cancer foundation in my mother’s memory
but as an analyzing mba i took this idea
and pitched it to my trusted inner
circle
only to be met with a lot of
caution a call to understand the
practical challenges and implications of
my decision
the voice of reason around me kept
growing louder and louder
but the fire and the passion i
felt burning within me also kept growing
larger
and stronger i realized that i needed
to break my own barriers of the fear of
failure of
not having a properly manicured plan
or not having financial security to
just surrender to the alchemy of my
vision
i knew that my heart and my head had
aligned
to become of service to others
and so that’s overcome was formed and
next year we are getting ready to
celebrate our 10th
anniversary having served millions of
women
and their families worldwide so then i
became that person
wading through the waves with my arms
stretched
towards the sky surrendering to the
limitless
breaking barriers is brilliant it’s hard
work but
it is relentless and it requires
obstacles doubts challenges
and rising to constant expectations
the number of times i have been told no
to funding requests
to collaborative opportunities to great
ideas
would put any toddler to shame
and in my search to find that inner
peace from
all these chaotic rejections i even
figured out how
kale or beads or oysters
restore mental health but
none of that worked because i ended up
at my doctor’s office with my
heart pounding and my head spinning
to be diagnosed with critical
hypertension
and it’s at that point i realized that
in my relentless drive
to keep breaking barriers for external
motivation
i had forgotten to embrace my
inner boundaries and to give myself
the honor of self-care so then
i became that little girl across the
strawberry fields
stopping at that fence and turning
around
knowing that few barriers are better not
broken
i became best friends with my meditation
guide
breaking years of resistance
coming down and coming back with my same
favorite line each time
i’m too busy to meditate so taking you
back to where we started so i have been
that stallion
galloping through the fields breaking
through the barriers
and recognizing every step of the way
that i couldn’t have done it
by my own that breaking barriers
almost always invariably includes
the best wing mates our best wing mates
in life
so let’s thank them and try to be one
to someone else i have been
that person wading through the waves
understanding that i had to respond to
this transformative feeling of awakening
that was happening
within me in my vision to create
overcome i have been that little girl
across the strawberry fields just
stopping at that fence and turning
around
understanding and realizing that few
barriers are not
meant to be broken they’re just there to
give us
the gift of courage compassion
and balance they are there to
give us the generous gift of emotional
freedom
most importantly i realized that
breaking barriers is a choice
it’s a perspective so it’s like if
you’re
standing on one side of a very busy
street where
horns are blaring and people are just
rushing by
then you cross that street and enter
into this really tall building climb up
the stairs
onto the rooftop to look into the vast
expanse of the sky ahead of you
if you are lucky a little bit of the
ocean as well
think about what happened nothing
really much changed because you are
pretty much in the same location
but you decided to break
the barriers of everyday chaos of life
to climb those stairs to feel free
and as you climbed you also grew
so i don’t aspire to be a shero or a
female founder or someone who found her
place
at the table breaking barriers of gender
culture
race or religion i’m here to share this
this gift and this perspective of
understanding breaking barriers this
idea
that breaking barriers is a balance
between the external
and the internal it requires recognition
of your best wingmates in life
it requires you to surrender to the
alchemy
of your vision and it requires you to
embrace your inner boundaries to give
yourself
the honor of self-respect
breaking barriers opens doors
but next time you find yourself standing
in front of that
metaphoric door give yourself a minute
as you decide whether to be
that stallion or that little girl or a
little mix of both
but no matter what you do whether you
stand out
or decide to go in surrender
to the alchemy of your vision because
that is when
we truly start breaking
barriers that’s all i have thank you