You Have the Power to Rescript Your Life
you
have the power to rescript
your life it was in the mid
80s i was 21 years old
pregnant with my third child
and living in a bedroom in the home
of my in-laws it was one of those days
when my husband was at work and i was
home
watching the babies it was a time when i
felt
like i was defeated failed my life goals
and like i was not going to amount
to anything beyond being a college
dropout
barefoot and pregnant
a baby making machine
these were popular descriptions at the
time
on this one particular day
i put my baby girls down for their nap
and picked up a copy of parents magazine
a subscription my sister-in-law shared
with me
and i came across this interesting
statement
children of parents who complete
college are more likely
to attend and complete college
themselves i recall
this as a pivotal moment in my life
after reading that statement i looked at
my daughters and i thought
i don’t want to be another statistic
if i wanted my daughters to
have a better life it had to start with
me
i owed it to my dollars to go back to
college
and finish my degree and i did
how did i do this i began
with the end in mind envisioned
the future i wanted and rescripted
my life today
i have three college degrees and my
daughters
have all graduated from college
on another occasion i recall
one clear afternoon in the early 2000s
i was at home sitting in my usual corner
in the living room on my recliner
computer on my lap and deep
in my dissertation work
then the front door first open and three
seemingly upset teenagers trampled in
all glared at me
and one said before they all stormed
away
you don’t care about us anymore
i was taken aback oh no
i have become so absorbed
in my work last track of time
and didn’t get out of the house like i
was supposed to
to make them up from school although
the school was a decent walking distance
they preferred
the ride home
at that moment though a thought
occurred to me if i died
tomorrow what would be more
important completing this dissertation
or ensuring that my daughters knew
that i loved them i felt that i had
neglected
my duty as a mother and the guilt
and stress consumed me
if i died tomorrow
what legacy or lasting thought
would i leave behind
i certainly did not want my daughters to
question
their priority in my life
they had to know unquestionably
that i loved them with all my heart
i was gifted with the opportunity
to rescript my life and i did
just that i committed from that day
forward
that i would put first things first
i made it a point to schedule my breaks
so that it was aligned with the time to
pick
up my daughters from school this routine
allowed us
to talk about our experiences that day
and connect at deeper levels
by making this adjustment to my schedule
i not only communicated to my daughters
that my time with them takes precedence
over other things i was able to rid
myself
of the guilt and stress associated with
the lack
of prioritizing those things that matter
to me
the most taking the time
to rescript my relationships with my
daughters
resulted in a relationship that i am so
proud of if i die tomorrow
my daughters will know without question
that i love them that i value them
and that they are important
in the spring of 2009
i was transitioning between the last
of three very close family members
and the welcoming of my first grand baby
i had just returned from an out-of-town
academic conference
accompanied by a chronic cough that
lasted three weeks
before i saw a doctor who prescribed a
medication
to cure the cough at the time
i was teaching and for the first time
i had to call in sick and cancel my
classes
i spent the entire day in bed physically
weep
but trying all the while to convince
myself
that i was getting better only because
of
all the looming deadlines that i had to
meet
one of my daughters was home on college
break
and was sitting with me when she noticed
i had
red spots on my legs
on my arms on my neck
and my ears were deep red burning
hot and itchy
this worried me enough that i went in to
see a doctor
for the second time in one week
i was diagnosed with stephens johnson
syndrome
a life-threatening condition affecting
the skin
in which cell death causes the epidermis
to separate from the dermis this
was caused by a fatal allergic reaction
to the antibiotic i was prescribed
[Music]
you’ve heard the same the cure
is worse than the disease
i was taken off all medication so that
my body could try
to heal on its own
in that process my body
deteriorated over the days to follow
i remember one night
i was at the peak of my pelvis
my eyes barely able to open
because of the damage to the mucous
membrane
i was unable to talk because the inside
of my mouth
and my lips were raw and sore
i could barely stand and when i did
it felt like i was stepping on sharp
pins
i felt hopeless wondering whether
i would wake up if i went to bed that
night
i’m happy to announce that i did wake up
i had life so what do you do
when you experience life like i did
restrict your life i remember thinking
that i’ve been given an opportunity to
do more
the image that came to mind at the time
was standing
on the stern the back end of a boat
and looking down at that trail of water
that is left behind as the boat moves
forward
if you can imagine that the boat
represents you
cruising through your life what is
driving the boat
the answer could be the present moment’s
energy being generated by the engine and
nothing more
this is what makes the boat move forward
it’s our present moment thoughts that
propel
us to move forward and nothing more
today i near the threshold
of retirement before me
is the opportunity to script my future
i am able to imagine the kind of life
that i want to live and aspire toward
that vision
i have the liberty to identify the
values
that i want to resonate with me
so right here right now
is my present i am excited
to script this next phase of my life
and you you have the power
to rescript your life as well
and you ought to start now
thank you