Creating Change Through Pain and Pleasure
let me know if this sounds a little
familiar to you
new year’s comes around and you decide
to go ahead and start setting up a new
year’s resolution
whether it’s going to the gym more often
making some more financially sound
decisions
throughout the year or just figuring out
what to do
in a career change and for the first
couple weeks
it goes on pretty strong you start to
make a lot of great strides
you’re going to the gym about three or
four times every week
but after about a couple months it kind
of starts to taper off a little bit
and eventually you decide to put it off
until next year
and you kind of wonder maybe i’ll just
put it off maybe i’ll
get back around to it and eventually the
cycle just repeats
so subconsciously we try to avoid
whatever is going to cause us any kind
of discomfort pain
anything of that sense even if it’s for
the betterment of our own
self like going to the gym because it’s
a change in routine
physical harm due to muscles tearing
we don’t like to be uncomfortable
so that being the case what can we do to
make the change that we want to see
in ourselves or around us in that
situation
so what i would like to propose to you
guys today is a
six-step process known as
neuro-associative conditioning
nac was popularized by a guy that a lot
of us would probably know as tony
robbins
and it’s a six-step process that
utilizes neuro-linguistic programming
or the psychology of words by shifting
the way you associate
pain and pleasure to better suit
the change that you want to make so to
give a very
condensed definition to all of this to
cut out all the psychology lingo
by altering the way you perceive your
current situation
and what you want to change through the
means of pain and pleasure
you can more easily take succinct steps
to achieve your end goal
so i personally utilized the six steps
of neuroassociative conditioning
from going about 5 11 and 165
severely underweight a little bit of
skin and bones to where i’m now going to
be competing
in men’s physique bodybuilding
so to start implementing those six steps
we need to decide what it is that we
want to change whether it’s a new habit
beginning a new routine and also
identifying what it is that’s holding us
back
from making that change so just by a
show of hands and
be honest how many of you guys have
something in your lives that you want to
change
start a new routine start a new hobby
all right so quite a few of us for sure
so i saw one person raise their hand
right over here
you mind coming up on stage real quick
you can just come right around over here
to this side
yeah just right over here
all right so can we go ahead and get a
round of applause for this girls
bravery for coming up here sorry for
this man yeah right over here
all right and can can you tell us your
name real quick um
my name is madison hey madison all right
so what is something that
you would like to change um i think
one of the big things especially with
this week
is disconnecting from my phone
disconnecting from the phone
i know with the collection and
everything going on it’s been a little
tricky to try and not look at social
media
and not look at your phone especially
with so many things changing left and
right
so we’ve kind of identified that first
little part of
step one which is to figure out what it
is that you want to change
and the next part of that is to figure
out what it is that’s holding you back
what do you think is kind of stopping
you from not looking at your phone all
too much
that’s a good question um i think
maybe that
that validation and that boost that i
get when i get like a notification
and i think also maybe just um
just like fear of missing out gotcha
fomo and that little double mean boost
that you get whenever you see
a notification can definitely be very
very addicting
so once we have that all identified the
next step that you need to do
is to get leverage in making that change
so the way we do that is by associating
pain
to what it is that we’re trying to
change and not making that change
immediately and now associating pleasure
and great feelings to changing that
habit
so for example what do you think would
be
the worst case scenario um if you don’t
change this kind of habit of constantly
reaching out to look at your phone
um i think maybe just
like missing out on something that
happens like in real life like
being so focused over here that i just
completely missed something
really important okay so
let’s think of something a little bit
more extreme
now a lot of us can probably be guilty
of this as well but
while we’re driving how many times would
you say that you look at your phone
to see if you got a new text or see if
you got some kind of notification even
if you know
nobody’s probably texting you right now
but you still look at your phone anyways
now with that being the case you’re
putting
not only yourself at risk but maybe a
pedestrian
another car you could potentially put
yourself six feet under or somebody else
and that’s it you won’t be able to see
your graduation you won’t be able to see
the rest of your life because now you
just cut yourself short
now on the other side of that what do
you think are some good things that
would come out of
not looking at your phone all too much
um
well with that standpoint i guess not
putting other lives in jeopardy
but i think also maybe just um
getting to separate myself a little bit
from the toxicity
of social media and being able to just
maybe feel a little better throughout
the day
absolutely and that’s a very very good
way to look at it
i know i personally when i was going
from the transition from being
underweight to where i am now
that type of pain and pleasure was
looking at it where if i didn’t
change where i was physically i’m
putting myself at risk
of potential health issues later on down
the road
malnutrition probably not going to be
able to see a full
long healthy life because of how
i was physically but on the other side
of that
coin if i at least put myself in a
better
physical standpoint i can now be able to
have a better chance of looking at a
much longer more fulfilling life being
able to do
what it is that i would truly want to do
and not hold myself back
because of being too frail being too
weak anything of that sense
and on that third little step you need
to be
um start creating an interruption
to your limiting behavior or that habit
that you’re trying to break
so a lot of you probably know that whole
little routine
of if you’re trying to break a habit
have a little rubber band on your wrist
and just kind of snap your wrist every
single
time you think of trying to do what
you’re trying to
break now we don’t always need to create
some kind of rubber band in order to
harm ourselves in order to break a habit
we can always have a positive or a
negative punishment
to prevent yourself from repeating that
behavior that you’re trying to change
so when it comes to wanting to look at
your phone all the time
maybe try texting yourself saying hey
stop looking at your phone or
toss it do something but you don’t need
to harm yourself in order to stop
yourself from breaking a habit
but it’s always okay to get a little
creative
to find a way that’s going to be just a
little uncomfortable for you to where
you’re not going to want to try and
repeat that same behavior
over and over and over again
so i know for me one of the biggest
things was
make sure i was eating enough making
sure i was going to exercise enough
and those moments where you really just
don’t want to get up
you don’t want to go out and be active
for those times
force yourself to do like jumping jacks
push-ups
something active break that little
limiting behavior that’s
that tiny little voice in your head
saying maybe i’ll do this another time
maybe i’ll do this later maybe tomorrow
all that matters is that you find some
kind of interruption
and for the fourth step is to create
that new
alternative creating something that’s
going to be a little bit better for you
than for example for madison looking at
her phone all the time
and finding something that’s going to be
more empowering for you
for me in my fitness journey it’s as
simple as going to the gym
for somebody that’s trying to find a way
to not look at their phone
it could be something entirely different
so
madison for example what can you think
of that you can do
instead of looking at your phone
um i guess maybe
um instead of like if i’m texting
someone maybe just say hey
do you do you want to meet in person i
know that well i know that with the
pandemic that can be a little
a little uh rocky but just trying to
still get a social interaction
without the screen
in between absolutely and that’s a good
alternative
starting in a conversation with somebody
that’s
there around you instead of constantly
looking at at your phone
is an absolutely amazing alternative
because you’re still getting that social
interaction
you’re still getting that little
serotonin boost that you’re getting from
actually talking to somebody getting
something out of it that’s going to make
you feel better
learning more about another person but
at the same time prevents you from
constantly having to pull out your phone
and look at it all the time and
so thank you so much for your
participation on this madison can we go
ahead and get one more round of applause
for real quick
all right so on to the fifth step we now
need to start conditioning
this new habit this new routine so
this can be as simple as just giving
yourself a pat on the back
finding something that you thoroughly
enjoy
to reward yourself for now doing the new
routine
finding that new habit instead of the
more detrimental
reaching that you had before and this
can be as simple as just
treating yourself to a smoothie having a
shake
something and that’s all that you need
to do
reinforce that new habit and next thing
you know you’re going to find yourself
repeating that new alternative over and
over and over again
without needing to constantly reward
yourself for doing so
and lastly to sum all of those other
steps
into one you need to put this all into
action
it’s great and all to have this all on
paper and saying this is great
i know what i need to do now but
it’s all great on paper but you need to
actually put
action to those words those ideas and
those thoughts that you have
in order to see if it works or not see
if it sticks
i know i for one have gone through a
couple of ideas of how to get
more active how to get in shape and
it didn’t work so it’s going back to
that drawing board that’s okay
for you to do figure out what works
better for you
and take those steps again to see if you
can make the change that you want to see
and now this isn’t a one-man job
it’s okay to ask for help and these six
steps are only as effective
as you make them out to be and if you
need help with accountability
it’s always okay to ask a friend for
help whether it’s a family member
a significant other a best friend
whoever it is
it’s okay to have someone to reach out
to for help
even if it’s as simple as saying hey can
you text me
on these days to say i need to go to the
gym or hey
can you come over on these days to kind
of just help me disconnect from looking
at my phone
all of these matters are okay just
because it’s a transformation for
yourself
doesn’t mean that you have to go solo it
doesn’t mean that you can’t
ask for help
and with all of this being the case i
just want to leave you all with a
question
with these six steps of
neuro-associative conditioning
how are you going to use those six steps
to start a chain reaction
in your life and how are you going to
use those six steps to change something
in your life thank you
you