How the fight to end child marriage in the UK continues
[Music]
i’m
so excited to be here with paisley
mahmoud now
you are part of my tedx london family we
both spoke in 2019
we’ve kept in touch since since our
moment on this
infamous red carpet but for those who
may be unaware
what was the focus of your talk in 2019
well jamie firstly i just want to say
thank you so much for the introduction
i’m so happy to be back here with you
yes it feels like it was so long ago but
it really wasn’t
um so my talk was about some of my
personal experiences regarding
child marriage so i was married at 16
here in the uk
which the law permits and i also shared
my sister story who was also married as
a child
and the devastating experiences that we
both went through
during those years of being married and
the fact that everybody around us our
teachers the police social services
and everybody just really looked the
other way
now i did get out of my marriage however
for my sister it led to quite a tragic
end and she lost her life in a so-called
honor killing because she left her
marriage
i don’t want to give too much away about
my talk so if you haven’t watched it i
would invite you to
watch it and you’ll learn more about
this issue absolutely you can join
nearly
700 000 people who have watched your
talk since
it was taken in december 2019 now i
think what a lot of people don’t get to
see
is the process that goes on behind you
know your talk
all of the talks today it is months and
months of
just hard work and hard craft especially
in your situation where you’re showing
so much of yourself on stage so much of
your sister’s story
but what was that reaction like for you
after all of those months of hard work
what was it like to finally share that
story with the world and have
such a visceral response you know what i
want to tell you
about your first point about the hard
work that it took and
the challenges that we all went through
to actually do our talks i think
for the audience listening as you said
you may not know how much work goes into
it so
it is quite um a challenge but i think
for me it was
a very very special experience and i
have moments of reflection and i
realized the incredible support that the
team gave us which
made us be able to deliver our talks for
me to
try and put into words i think how i
felt after my talk and the reaction
it’s i can only say incredible because
if someone had told me years ago if i
shared my story i would have been shown
the support and compassion
from people that i got i would have
never believed it
i was pleasantly surprised you know from
the beginning coming off that stage
people were asking me what can we do how
can we help and
there was so much you know there was
everyone was so open
to wanting to do something about this
issue so it was it was just incredible
to being received so well
i think i remember when we watched it in
the green room it was just
a complete just silence
and i think you know you’ve spoken about
the work that goes into this but
it’s almost tenfold when you are really
you know
opening your chest up on stage and just
being incredibly vulnerable so i
want to thank you for that and i’m so
glad that people
were just receptive to that because you
know you never know what’s going to
happen but it’s been
incredible to see like i say nearly over
700 000 people watch your talk
and just prior to your talk you started
a petition didn’t you
um which is nearly reaching 200 000
signatures now do you want to just
have a little have a little chin work
about the petition what was the
kind of purpose of the petition why did
you think it was a good time to
pop it into the world well i think one
of the issues with what i’m talking
about child marriage is that
a lot of people don’t actually realize
this is an issue that is happening right
here on our doorstep
and so you know we wanted the public to
get behind this and we wanted the public
to actually
demand action from the government and
again we were pleasantly surprised so
the petition was started with several
ngos who are backing it
alongside the bill which you’ll later
talk to us about
and that petition is calling as i said
for the government to act then make sure
that children are safe
from child marriage we shouldn’t allow
this to happen
and you know we’re really really amazed
at the level of support that we’re
getting from the public
and again the talk really helped boost
that because after that talk
the signatures and to this day are still
coming in and
a lot of people do leave comments saying
that they watch the talk and it moved
them to actually take action to sign the
petition and
you know call on the government to do
something about this absolutely because
i think the reaction
you know the reaction personally for you
is really important and it’s really
great but to have to see that turn into
action
for you it just must be such an
emotional and emotional thing because
it’s
it’s your hard work but also it’s your
you know it’s your life it’s your story
it’s it’s an
issue that is impacting so many people
and all of this support and hard work
has come to fruition
with the minimum age bill being born so
for those who may not know in the uk
bills are read in the house of commons
and then a second reading which in this
case
is potentially slightly postponed but
there is there is always hope there
um tell us about the birth of this bill
tell us kind of despite its delays
despite
you know the conflama that comes with
westminster
why is it what why is it so important
for you what’s its kind of
aim so um the bill was introduced as a
private members bill by
an mp pauline latham and as you said it
went through its first reading second
reading unfortunately is
possibly postponed at the moment the
bill is
so important to me jamie because it
means that girls
like myself or like my sister or any
girl doesn’t have to go through this
and i think this is life changing that’s
one of the things that
for me out of my talk that really
touches me and makes me emotional when
people reach out to me and say that
because they watch the talk or because
they’re now aware of this issue
they’re actually able to either step
into somebody else’s life going down
that route
or themselves actually seek support so
it’s something that is so hard to put
into words because i would have never
known as a result of
sharing you know so much pain and um
difficult experiences and loss that
actually it could help
somebody else’s life and so for me every
single time somebody signs that petition
somebody reaches out somebody
you know supports us via social media or
writes to their mp all of those things
it means that you could help somebody
actually have a future
which is what we should all want for
children absolutely and i think what’s
so
lovely to see from your talk and from
the petition is the very
you know it’s a very clear process of
how
what you have said and by sharing your
story change is happening and i think a
lot of people
with moments like ted and i watching the
talks online we kind of see these
moments in
as a time stamp we see them as something
that has happened and
we don’t necessarily see them move
forward but you have had such a clear
movement through you know progress with
what’s happening
now for the audience watching you’ve got
two very simple actions that can help
but also a message
of hope and support around the build you
want to share those
now yeah thank you jamie um i think
everyone can relate to this and agree
that we are in a time where
everything just feels like bad news
everything feels so dark and so gloomy
but i just want to share with everyone
who’s watching this my little bit of
hope is that
you can actually make a difference and
it takes five seconds to sign a petition
it takes just you know five minutes to
write
an email to your mp to ask them to get
behind this
and this is something that we should
take as urgency so i would ask you
two very straightforward actions watch
my talk
share the petition actually a third one
to add
um contact your mp it’s very easy to
find out who your mp is and
it’s a really really straightforward
thing to do explain
why this is an issue and i think
watching my talk and actually learning
about this issue
you will learn about the devastating
effects that this can have on girls
lives and
you know we’re talking millions there
are millions of girls that are
at risk of this or that are already
victims of child marriage and
i think we can all say that you know
what we’re going through globally the
pandemic
this is only going to heighten this
issue so
i’m really urging anybody who is
watching we don’t need to wait and see
the
you know the effects of covid on this
issue we need to act
now and we need to reach out to decision
makers and take responsibility for
the girls around us the children around
us and do something about this
so that’s my call to action for you guys
who are watching at home
and i would really really appreciate
that absolutely because i think
what’s so in what’s so important and
inspirational here is that
you know you you didn’t have to do this
you know i think that’s really important
with marginalized stories is we often
feel like we have to share them
for people to listen but you have taken
your story and
taken the autonomy behind that decision
to share
that with the world what advice would
you give to people that
want to do this with their story they
want to get into a position where
you know they want to change something
like what one piece of advice would you
give those people
jeremy this is such a good question
because for 10 years
even longer after all of my experiences
i just thought sharing my story who
would want to listen and i remember in
the beginning of my talk i often felt
like this who would want to listen to my
story
so i think for anybody who has us and we
all have stories everybody has a story
for anybody who wants to share with the
world their story
don’t ever think even just for a second
that your story doesn’t matter because
it does matter and
it can change somebody’s life when i
tell you it literally
it brings me to tears when i have people
contacting me from
you know where i was born in kurdistan
from every corner of the world from
pakistan
young girls saying to me that they want
to learn more about this and they want
to engage in these conversations and
you know it just makes you realize that
even for a second when you doubt your
own truth and your own story
just remember your story matters so much
and
yes it’s scary but what isn’t and you
know just think about
actually how far you can get from
sharing or i would have never thought in
a million years that
it can have the impact and i’m so glad
that you know i
went through this experience well you
are a shiny example of that
you know you you are
an example of how that can happen so
again i’m just very happy that you’re
here to share
to share that now finally behind the
public work
behind you know the fight
and like i find this such an interesting
question but like how are you
like how what personal support do you
feel like you have
because it’s really important that you
have that and i
you know i want we want to know that
you’re okay
thank you i’m sure this is something you
can relate to i think the work that we
do
you know it can have um a lot of effects
on your mental and
you know emotional well-being so i i
think in the beginning i felt so much
responsibility to
take everything on and you know always
reply to people and
do everything i can and i do feel
responsible however
i’ve realized the importance and
actually making sure i look after myself
so
i do have incredible support around me
you know i have my life partner my close
friends
i have supporters out there who support
what i’m doing and that means a lot to
me
um so i i do make sure to take care of
myself and
you know as a result of my talk i’ve
actually
taken a huge step into the career that
i’m in now so i work with icro who are
you know doing everything they can to
support girls like me and
i’ve managed to actually take that step
so i’m doing well thank you for asking
you’re more than welcome more than
welcome and i think you’ve always got
the support of your tedx family you’ve
always got us
rallying behind you any given moment it
has been
my absolute pleasure to have you here
thank you so much
to paisymamood now make sure that you
check out
all of the bits and bobs on our social
so you can get behind
the campaign and the bill thank you so
much
you