You Have The Chance To Be A Hero For Autistic ChildrenTake It
if there’s anything
in this world that i really really love
it’s fiery english mustard i put it on
everything if i have a bacon sandwich
there’s always a lovely spread
of english mustard on it roast meat
pork pies i even put it on potatoes
and like every motivational speaker or
storyteller i had a very
very peculiar day in that i was in a
room
with a hundred people and for the most
part
the discussion was centered upon what
variants of mustard we liked
whether that was dijon whole grain or
the fiery english variant that i love
so well we talked about what foods we
like to have it on
and the future of mustard itself
as a condiment although the day was
tinged with sadness and that there were
two people there
who didn’t like english mustard and i
was completely overwhelmed with feelings
of
sadness that these two people would
never
feel the warm and loving embrace of
fiery english mustard
in their food so i had to do
something i had to dive deep into my
good nature
and come up with a solution and with
very little conversation with the two
people that didn’t like mustard
and even less research i coined the
medical diagnosis of
hating mustard disorder or hmd for short
coining a medical diagnosis simply was
not
good enough i had to come up with a
therapy or support program
to allow these two people to come into
the mustard way
of life so i founded
hmd therapy and what hmd
therapy is is a compliance or
rewards-based system
wherein children can have a chocolate
treat or
time to take part in an activity that
they enjoy
if they have a loving spoonful of fiery
english mustard
in their food i can sense the
bewilderment coming towards me as
on what on earth is he talking about
of course this is an anecdotal story
about how people are unnecessarily
pathologized in today’s society
i’d like to tell the story of one little
boy
that this also happened to so this
amazing little boy his favorite thing in
the whole world to do
what really brought him joy as a small
child
was to line up his toy cars on the
wonder cell
of his parents house he didn’t walk
until he was almost two and didn’t have
as many words
as the health visiting manual said that
he should have had
from those early days these this
wonderful boy
had so many challenges
from the way other people viewed him so
what school would this wonderful little
boy go to
what would be his education would it be
a mainstream school
or a special educational needs school
so an assessment was carried out with
this wonderful boy
and the assessment was done with a
consultant psychiatrist
and an educational psychologist
and a report was generated from that day
and
brace yourselves because i’m going to
read out an excerpt of that report
it says this little boy presents with
aggressive features
and difficulties with other children his
age
given the collateral history gained from
the boy’s mother
and her daily management struggles it
would indicate
that some autistic retardation
is evident despite this
the boy displays literacy and numeracy
topical of a child his age
there are some verbal sequencing issues
that will hopefully resolve with support
outside of a special education school
that little boy is me
and i’ve read out that letter and that
excerpt
many many times and it doesn’t get any
easier
not for the autistic retardation
statement
because back in 1995 that was language
that was in common
medical usage the thing
that strikes me most is that i didn’t
even have a name back then
i was just the boy and my soul mate my
best friend and the love of my life
my mother aimer is simply the boy’s
mother so i went to mainstream school
i had a classroom assistant with me
pretty much everywhere i went
i didn’t always go to school every day
and i had more opportunities for
individual work throughout the school
day
and my earliest memory of school was
standing in the playground
just holding my teacher’s hand looking
at the chaos that was unfolding around
me
there was there were kids kicking a ball
around in this direction
there were kids chasing each other over
here other kids playing hopscotch over
there
and i just didn’t really know where my
place was
within all of that teachers
and classroom assistants all through my
education
always wanted what was best for me and
their hearts
were always in the right place
however whenever i used to line things
up
or stack things up that was deemed as
inappropriate play whatever that is
and i was the one that had to change
i used to repeat things under my breath
to learn to communicate that little bit
more effectively
although that was deemed as a lack of
communication skills
but yet i was the one who had to change
i didn’t always like working in groups
or
sitting down in a seat for too long and
i was always deemed to have per social
skills
again whatever they are and i was the
one
who had to change although with my
schooling
it wasn’t all bad i did have some real
hero teachers along the way one of them
whenever i was nine
it was clear that i had a reading age
that was more advanced
than my biological years and any time
our class were reading a book together i
was always first to put up my hand
and volunteer to read aloud to the rest
of the class
and my teacher mr bradley had the best
idea and that he put me forward to be
the narrator
of our school play that year and i
remember standing on the stage
and looking out into the audience and
seeing my mom and dad’s eyes just glazed
over with tears of pride
that their champion was on that stage
showcasing what he was good at
that planted the seed for greatness
and without that experience i probably
wouldn’t be on this hallowed
red dot as i am now i did have another
hero teacher two years later
whenever i was 11. this was my final
year of
primary education and we went to an
outdoor activity center
and garden and county donegal
and we were split into two teams as a
class and
the object of the day’s activity was to
build a raft
to take part in a race across a lake
so we got down to building our raft
and then i approached my teacher and
said
mr gill can i build this raft myself
everybody else is just getting in the
way and i think i would do a much better
job
if given the time and space to do so
myself
and against the grain my teacher
actually agreed
he said you know what fella go ahead you
build that raft
and my teacher uh took my classmates and
now
unemployed raf builders away to play
another game and
went off-site to let let me build this
raft
and let me tell you my raft
was a beauty it was made out of barrels
logs it was bound together with rope and
i even made a sail out of
old plastic bags so i dragged my
creation down to the lake
and got my sailors back on board
and the race rang out across the lake
and 20 seconds later
my my binding came loose my barrel
started to separate and my raft
ultimately disintegrated with my raft
my sailors and i scattered across the
lake whilst my team
the other team sailed effortlessly to
the other side
so what is the main message of that
story
let me tell you it’s pick your battles
children and time will inevitably learn
life’s key skills and tasks
not all at the same time but at their
own
pace which has to be supported by
everyone
what i took from that experience was
that in time
i would need to work as part of a team
and even lean on others
for support so what are the main
takeaways
from this talk the first one being
whether you’re a parent or a teacher or
a professional
you have the chance to be an autistic
child’s hero
take it we have passions we have talents
and if they are nurtured at every cost
wonderful things will happen all you
need to do
is look at almost every field of human
endeavor
there has been an autistic person there
and thereabouts
through every single field we have a
wonderful team
and i always say that without us the
human race would probably still be
living in caves
and spearing fish the second one being
the second takeaway
is that people are naturally different
what we need is a model of acceptance
and understanding
the current model the way it stands not
just here where i live
but globally is that there is so much
money invested
by governments and medicalized type
programs
that the main outcomes are treat
diagnose cure
and it obviously doesn’t work because
the life expectancy
for autistic people like me is only 36
to 54. so now as a 30 year old
it’s coming to the stage where people
like me die
on average so something has to change
the amount of referrals waiting lists
for assessments and everything else are
only ever increasing
whilst on a separate graph governmental
funding for
such projects and charities and causes
are still increasing why on a global
basis
for autistic people like me are people
pulling the same lever
and expecting a different outcome
the model that we need as a model of
acceptance and love
which is neurodiversity wherein people
are
free to be who they are without fear of
judgment
the third and final takeaway is even if
people
don’t like mustard or are not like you
be a champion for them too be an ally
every day is a learning day for me and
i’ll leave you with this
from my literary soul brother
zarathustra
whenever he said i am a wanderer and a
mountain climber
zarathustra said to his heart it’s clear
that i don’t like the planes and it
seems i can’t sit still for very long
but no matter what life throws at me as
fate and experience
will involve both wandering and mountain
climbing
thank you very much