Cmo construimos nuestra identidad
Translator: Gisela Giardino
Reviewer: Sebastian Betti
My name is Ailin and I have
multiple nationality syndrome.
What is that?
I was born in Argentina.
I have a Spanish surname,
my mom is Bolivian and my dad is…
Asian.
I say it that way
because it’s easier for me
to say he is Asian, Chinese or Korean,
rather than explaining that I don’t know
where is he from, where is him,
or who did I get my Asian eyes from.
He left me and my mom
when I was eight months old.
When I was a little girl
I found it difficult to understand.
I missed him, without even knowing him.
And I had a huge desire
to know what he was like,
ask him a thousand questions,
while I was dreaming that
one day he would come back
and my family would finally be complete.
As I grew older, it made me uncomfortable
to be singled out for being different.
I was “the Chinese”.
As if it was something
you could be sure of just by my looks,
even when I myself didn’t know
really well about my roots,
my ancestry, my identity.
Everyone seemed to be sure
that I was Chinese, except me.
It felt like a void, a mystery.
And, within that mystery,
now I understand, I saw options.
I saw an opportunity.
If everyone thought I was Chinese,
why not learning about being Chinese?
When I was eight years old, I asked
to be enrolled in a Chinese school
that I attended on weekends.
At the same time, my classmates
were forced by their parents to go
to perfect their Chinese.
And many of them
already spoke Chinese at home.
I was there being the exception.
I loved going there.
I was able to share my existential doubts
with my classmates,
like the identity clash of not knowing
if you’re more Argentinean or Chinese.
They said they felt Chinese in Argentina
and Argentineans when they were in China.
In one place in the world or in the other
they were seen differently.
I also took on Korean lessons.
And over time I started to care less
where my dad was from.
And I became more interested
in learning about the culture
of the countries I was so linked to,
where I found
different senses of identity.
I would discover myself in the
exploration of the different tones
that this mystery could take,
this void to be filled.
Yet other concerns popped up.
I wondered,
“And what does all this mean?”
“Do I study Chinese
in order to be Chinese?”
“Do I seek to be Korean
by studying Korean?”
“Am I trying to fit into the expectation
others have of me when they see me?”
No, it’s not just that.
I discovered that my identity
it’s not fixed,
something concrete
and with clear boundaries.
And that I am actually
in a constant transition.
The decisions I made
which led me to so many experiences
helped me understand
how to connect worlds,
discover a thousand options
and possibilities.
Opportunities.
And discover that it is the differences
between us that enrich us.
My multiple nationality syndrome
made me to understand life
as a constant transition.
And I suspect each of you
are also a constant transition.
Each with your many
multicolored personalities
discovering a thousand options
and possibilities,
building ideas and dreams;
discovering the multiple tones
that this mystery can take.
Thank you.