A Crisis Called Inhumanity
[Music]
hi
my name is anish kwanim and the thoughts
you’re about to listen to
are my thoughts and do not reflect those
of the world at large
yet when maria broke down at a community
policing event
and suggested that she was this close to
taking her life
we realized we have to also work with
the connectors that were leading to that
thought
not only did we provide maria a place at
our police station to study
but the officers tutored her lifted her
spirit
and also ensured that the domestic
disturbances in her home
were addressed by referring her parents
for gainful employment
and therapy versus adding to the already
raised decibels
and agony maria was the first to wish me
luck
for this talk that i present today
official data and statistics suggest
that 800 000 people die
to suicide every year break that up and
that’s a death
every 40 seconds of every day to that
one person who has died by suicide
another 20 have fortunately had a failed
attempt
to those 20 who had a failed attempt
there’s hundreds and thousands at the
edge this very second
considering taking their own life i
believe we are nearing three times those
vital seconds into this talk
and we can sadly say a prayer to a few
souls somewhere in the world
who we have just lost to suicide if that
hasn’t raised an alarm
let me regretfully inform you that these
statistics i mentioned
are pre the pandemic let me also add
that by now most of you
have noticed my tattoos and have
considered possibly compartmentalizing
or labeling my personality hold on to
that thought
its relativity will soon follow did you
also know that ten and a half
million people in the world are in
contact with our criminal justice
systems
which means over one crore people are
either locked away
pending a trial or have been convicted
and placed under confinement in a jail
or a prison
did you also know that of the number of
people who are eventually released from
such lockups
over 81 percent of them are likely to
return to that very confinement
at some stage again a term we call
recidivism
or an easiest of terms a community’s
failure
to give someone a chance to undo the
wrong and rehabilitate
through opportunity let’s move to the
courts and the legal systems
did you know that india alone has close
to 37 million cases
being handled by legal professionals
this very second
why is there so much of dispute
discontent and disharmony
where is this human crisis coming from i
could go on and on about such numbers
and data
but that will only be delaying my
message let me conclude these facts by
mentioning
that the ratio of professional help
available for humans in crisis
versus our population is truly at an
imbalance
the very word crisis conceals the word
cry
a cry for help when something goes
terribly wrong
this cry is a symptom of pain and
problems in the communities we live in
a symptom which most of us tend to miss
or ignore before it spreads
and requires addressing where we live
where we are raised and where we rise
is the very environment where someone
else is failing
one summer evening as i sat alongside
the officers at the local police station
we received a call from a mother in
distress we went over and learnt that
her son was harassing her
the neighbors had a similar complaint
and so did the onlookers
i sat myself down on the floor besides
this boy whom i’ll call bob
and followed the basic principle of two
ears and one mouth
and began to listen to his crisis my
choice of using tactical empathy
helped de-escalate the situation almost
immediately
at that very moment i had a choice of
handing over an intoxicated and a
troublesome bob to authorities
but i chose to use that very power to be
there for him
and take him past the criminal label i
saw opportunity
whilst others saw sympathy as time went
by bob visited me often and evolved into
a fine young man
in fact he even called me recently to
tell me about a job opportunity he
received
and thanked me with a hug for helping
keep his record clean
and also uniting his family i don’t take
credit for bob’s restorative path
but instead i wonder why it ever reached
me when a family
a neighbor and onlookers could see its
escalation
where was bob’s community when he needed
them the most
none of us can choose our place of birth
in fact nor could i
and destiny so had it that i too was not
to be welcomed into my
own family business after completing my
eligibility
i was left stranded and rejected
wondering why one of my own
had left me to the unknown it was on
that very day
that i decided to commit my life to
community and ensure every home
has a family from coming this close to
walking the plank
a voice repeated that we all have a
purpose i set out to be thankful for my
gift of life
by expressing my gratitude through my
deeds
life is such that we are allowed to take
our emotions hostage sometimes healing
and dealing are nature’s own medicine
to such crisis situations we are all
human after all
however negotiating past this crisis is
a skill we must learn
or seek to learn there is a hostage
negotiator inside
each of us that’s negotiating a journey
called life
every day cherish each negotiation
you’re either learning
or unlearning either ways you’re
learning a myth exists
it doesn’t cost you anything to love and
be kind if that’s true
then why is it easier for us to say what
we want when we want and abuse the
freedom of speech
by not understanding the impact of its
reach kindness and love require effort
but that effort is preceded by the
willingness to want to
rather than have to and as this talk
progresses i’ll attempt to elaborate
that effort
or rather the commitment a quote i
commonly hear
it’s not about what you say but how you
say true to an extent
however most of the time it’s also about
listening and understanding the other’s
perspective
by stepping out of your own shoes rather
than saying anything at all
unless it’s active and participative
listening
the very word you if i may abbreviate
into why for yourself
or for ourselves and you for the unknown
explains our
individual presence in community
understanding this abbreviation
is a fundamental to community service
taking care of you
confirms your own ability to secure
yourself and thus makes you
approachable to others taking care of
ourselves confirms your ability
to manage your immediate and known
community such as your family
friends neighbors and thus makes you
approachable to the unknown
taking care of the unknown that is the
community you don’t know
but can get to know or unknowingly come
in contact with
every day such as the ones who pass you
by or your year off
confirms your holistic approach to
humanity sadly
none of us abbreviate the word you and
go by the good old-fashioned why
or you or if i were to say it me to
understand humanity we must first begin
by humanizing ourselves
and the badges we wear on our heart and
our sleeves we play
different roles every day one morning an
officer informed me of a repeat offender
whom i’ll name jack jack had been often
challenging the law prior to my arrival
in that community
and no one was able to understand why
when i asked jack if i could be there
for him he was amazed
apparently everyone was suggesting
rather than allowing him
to tell his side of the story jack told
me that he dearly missed his grandmother
who had sadly passed away a few years
ago and ever since then
every opportunity relationship decision
and step he took
was with the fear that he may lose
something as precious again
and jack’s possessive responses were
coming across
negatively again i saw empathy and
opportunity
over sympathy i wore the badge of his
family of a friend
and possibly even of his grandmother to
help him today
jack is one of our proudest community
members and assist others in distress
i’d humanize my badge and in turn
humanize jax too
we sleep in the confinement of our four
walls knowing
we’ve gotten through our day but there
are many outside our home
that aren’t as fortunate listeners let
me remind you
that nobody is born a criminal every
crisis has its own story
we sometimes meet people on the worst
chapters of their lives
and label those very chapters as their
journey
when i was conferred with the badge of a
hostage in crisis negotiator
i quite naturally was very excited to
play my role
in responding to people’s crisis but
time made me realize
how cursed i was to only be there for
someone on the worst day of their life
rather than an attempt to ensure that
that day could have possibly
been avoided in community conversations
i was often asked about some of my most
interesting interventions i had a few
but i wasn’t proud of that fact
of course maintaining my community’s
privacy was also imperative
and less productive indeed i was a
crisis responder
but why couldn’t i be a crisis eraser
the word why to me was magical and i
wanted to ask the question why before
rather than after i often stared at the
crime charts at the police station in
dismay
unfortunately the department’s success
was measured by detection
and registration rather than prevention
i also wondered if we were actually
making an impact with such responsive
policing
were we alienating our approachability
through such
interactions i realized that success
meant
arresting a person or for punishing a
troublemaker
or for recovering a stolen item rather
than any efforts we took
proactively to ensure peace i realized
that we fancied a front page story with
the offender
rather than a picture with him and his
family on a happier day
irrespective that chart was answering my
bike and i was committed to erasing
those numbers
i used that data to go back to my
community and targeted those very
beginnings
of those very chapters that were chalked
on that chart
i was able to understand the grass roots
of the community crisis
and started working towards the real
change
no i didn’t just want to meet people on
their worst day
why couldn’t i meet them on their best
day or if not their best
then maybe this connection would have
possibly unearthed a crisis
that was somewhere in queue no effort
to build relations goes a waste and
whilst i
also waited to respond to a crisis i
grabbed the opportunity
to know my community better the result a
rapid drop in crime a massive rise in
proactive responses
enhance reactive and rehabilitative
cooperation during and post incidents
and partnerships established like never
seen before did this take effort
you bet it did and was it worthwhile
well you tell me
listeners i share this because it is
important for you all to take back
that if you wish to do for your
community then understand where it must
be done
of course god bless you all for dropping
a meal to a hungry child
god bless you all for helping the
elderly cross the road
but why has it come to that why can’t we
actually target self-sufficiency
and seldom see the day when anyone needs
anyone
we make the time to post our concerns
that read justice for
or we make the time to walk with a
candle or we make the time to protest
our non-acceptance
but has that made a difference to the
root cause no
the number of victims and those accused
are not reducing
the number of suicides are not reducing
and know the candles
are not lighting the path for your
community our community
which makes me wonder if that time which
we made was it progressive
or was it rather regressive it is us who
choose to stick labels of love and hate
on our communities
and to elaborate what i just said post a
talk i gave in a school
to build relations between police
officers and community
a little girl approached us the next day
and told us that she was
bodily shamed for years sadly
the opportunity to help her was snatched
away from us
by one of her own why because our call
to action
seemed rather small compared to the
enormous social shaming
that she and her family would face and
the labels that they would have to wear
for life
labels plastered on them by our own
communities
the girl and her family were petrified
rather
than justified we call someone good and
we call someone evil
and we refuse to understand the fine
lines that distinguish
a non-emergency from an emergency in
fact
we even classify the end of life as a
division between heaven and hell
it’s uncalled for because we can attempt
to bridge
this gap of the people by the people and
for the people suggest
protection of a community’s
constitutional rights yet
why do we wait to enforce the law rather
than protect it
god bless our social workers crisis
responders and mental health
professionals etc
but don’t we all have a role to play to
address this crisis in our community
so girls and boys ladies and gentlemen
what do we do to play our role for our
community
what do we do to make this pandemic a
little less suffocating
what do we do to turn the quarantine
into quality time
and what can we do to develop our own
vaccine to cure
inhumanity here’s a few tips considering
our millennial understanding
let’s turn the influencer mentality into
the influential mentality
let’s not comment but rather commit
let’s replace the screen time
with the yourself ourself and unknown
time let’s replace the emojis
with actual reflections of humanity
let’s replace a like button
with a like action or a dislike button
with a listening option
or a share with a care or a filter with
a happily ever after
when sarah visited our police station
after seeing a post that read
need help we’re here for you it wasn’t
the post that attracted her
but everything posted on our walls both
digital and human
before during and after that made us
approachable
our stories didn’t just last for 24
hours but lasted forever
and deeply embedded in the hearts and
timelines of our community
and that’s where we begin our
self-change
once we program ourselves to be more
positive and approachable
we progress to partnerships the
partnerships we build
then progress to problem solving the
problems we solve
then progress to peace don’t just do
because you master because your social
feeds will look good do because the data
is screaming
what the community actually wants you to
do it’s important to understand that
santa claus naughty list was more
important than his nice list
because that’s where the damage needed
to be addressed
knock on the doors of the known of the
unknown and your own
and double click the moments of
connection till it’s a heart
cherish this digital age and use it to
make
a difference don’t fool yourself with
the term social distancing
we were already socially distancing from
well before the pandemic
by never presencing spread empathy
love and kindness cherish the power to
also
unlearn and make the world your own
positive classroom
the ones who dislike you they are your
most important students
humanity is often going to be a
thankless job
but don’t do it to wear your own medal
do it because the change will enable
someone else to wear a medal
where once they go helplessness and
hopelessness
and thus my listeners as joel osteen
rightly said
life is not too short we just wait too
long to begin
similarly let us now begin to actually
recreate a new normal
by adding kindness to that very life and
wake up
to realize a dream a dream where our
crisis responders
are seldom needed a dream where our
jails and prisons are empty because we
have addressed the criminal instigation
and not the criminal reaction a dream by
the millions and billions being invested
into the afterthought
is rather invested in the root cause a
dream
where the leaders we elect are not asked
what they
do for us but asked what they know about
us thus their agendas are definitive
and not imaginative a dream where we
stop reading the subtitles but rather
look up listen and acknowledge each
emotion
a dream where we police our communities
together and recognize the various
badges of hope
we all wear a dream better philanthropy
is
not merely for our own trophy but to
lift our community
on a pedestal of glory a dream where we
understand that
every individual comes with baggage and
that baggage
must be respected a dream where our
profiles aren’t verified
by our popularity but rather by our
ability to make the voices of our
followers
louder than the clicks of the paparazzi
a dream that to the maths and to the
physics into the chemistry into the
biology
we also teach our rising generations a
subject
called humanity a dream where we don’t
just join a
say no to this day or a say no to that
day campaign
but rather relentlessly contribute and
immerse ourselves
every day to that change we wish to see
a dream
where capes are not just worn by
superheroes but are draped around those
who once valued themselves with a zero a
dream
where our prayers irrespective of our
religion don’t just
ask from god but rather express our
gratitude and deeds
that assist him to play his role a dream
where we value the potential of our own
community
and celebrate their ability to rise to
heights of never seen before capacities
and not lose them overseas a dream where
i don’t just see appreciation to my
content
but rather see you paid forward to your
kingdom through your own humanitarian
wisdom
a dream where through solidarity we help
build
and cross bridges and not erect walls
and leave open ditches
and a dream where my thoughts are our
thoughts
and a community filled with humanity
coexist
to extinguish abolish and demolish
a crisis called inhumanity thank you
[Music]