The Key to Building Self Confidence
Transcriber: Gia Hwang
Reviewer: Carol Wang
In the fall of 2019,
I asked 120 college freshmen
what they thought about themselves.
80% said they felt less worthy than others
and 85% said they didn’t believe
in their own abilities.
And in the last six months,
my team and I, Rise Up For You,
we asked over 2,000 working professionals
what their top challenge was
in the workplace today.
A whopping 57% said
their top challenge was competence,
and 82% wrote down a challenge
that was directly correlated
to competence,
such as imposter syndrome,
not feeling enough, self-doubt,
and of course, the perfectionist mindset.
And these challenges are the factors
that affect our behavior,
the ability to take action,
and most importantly how we show up.
Today, there are many challenges
we face in this world as people,
but the greatest tragedy we continue
to see is wasted human potential
due to a lack of confidence
and connection with one self.
It has paralyzed
one generation after another,
and continues to get passed down
to today’s youth and future
generations to come.
You see, over time, the term confidence
has been inaccurately
redefined and minimized
to the point that many individuals today
have built a false sense of confidence,
what I’d like to call micro confidence.
So let’s talk about this.
Micro confidence, what is it?
Micro confidence means
you feel certain, sure, or great
in a competency or learned skill.
I’m confident in singing.
I’m confident in coding.
I’m confident in my career
and my business, and so on.
But you see, that’s not sustainable.
And we saw this most recently
around the world when COVID-19 hit.
Many business owners,
hard-working professionals, parents
lost their micro confidence,
meaning they lost their jobs,
their skill was no longer needed,
they lost the external things
that brought them security.
And the problem is that with that came
the loss of self-worth and identity,
because you see, this whole time,
we’ve been building our self-worth
and our identity of the micro competence.
External factors, things
that are bound to change,
that should not define who we are,
but only enhance who we are.
Micro confidence is always changing
because it is outside of us,
and therefore dependent on multiple
factors outside of your control.
But really, this whole time, we need
to build our macro confidence,
a belief in your ability
to learn or succeed,
a self-confidence within
that is not defined by any outside
thing, person, or place.
Macro confidence is a deep
inner belief that you can learn,
a growth mindset, a belief that no matter
what happens around you or to you,
everything you need is within you
to change and overcome
any challenges or obstacles
that you are enough
and have enough within.
It is the macro confidence
that says I’ll figure it out;
or it’s OK that’s not perfect.
I’ll do it anyway.
And if I fall short,
I will reflect on
what happened and try again.
So, how do we move forward
and make a confident shift in our society
that is so desperately needed today
and for the future?
Number one, it always starts
when we’re young.
Educational institutions
need to start making shifts
to the core curriculum
starting in elementary school,
incorporating self-confidence
and soft skills as major core subjects
along with technical skills.
I mean, the reality is math, history
and science will only go so far
if our students don’t have
the confidence to take action
and step forward with their knowledge,
if they don’t have the confidence
to embrace failure, risk and the word ‘no’
without feeling less than or unworthy
when they step into their first
career or profession.
To the parents,
corporate leaders and educators:
Be careful which beliefs and thoughts
you let out of your mouth
and into the ears of a young mind
for hungry professional.
It only takes one encounter to shift them
from a dreamer and a doer
to a doubter… and to you.
You were born with confidence.
When you were a baby, and you fell down,
you didn’t tell yourself, “Ahh, forget it.
It looks like I wasn’t meant to walk.”
Now, you got up again,
and again, and again.
But over time, society, family, people,
they put beliefs on you
that made you feel small,
and in return play small.
And over time, years go by and those
beliefs get cemented into your mind
even though they don’t always
serve you and your success.
But you have the power
to shift that today, right now,
by making the conscious decision
to counter the thoughts and beliefs
that are getting in your way,
and rewrite them with positive thoughts
to help you move forward,
even when you’re unsure of the outcome.
And by the way, it’s OK
to let fear get inthe car.
OK, you let fear get in the car,
but don’t let that sucker take the wheel,
because the second it takes the wheel,
it’s going to drive you to the wall
or make a U-turn in a direction
that you do not want to go.
The greatest tragedy today
is wasted human potential.
I urge us all to change
the narrative, shift the story
and confidently lead the way
starting with yourself first.
Thank you.