How do you teach courage Ming Shelby
So I recently walked into a classroom
with a room of 8th graders.
A teacher was teaching a lesson about
flexibility, and instead,
the 8th graders were in hysterics about
something that happened
earlier in that week.
Nod your head if it’s ever
happened to you,
where you’re trying to talk about something
else, and the conversation takes a detour.
And the kids were like, “Well this teacher
thought that we lied to him.”
So I did a little bit more digging,
and they felt betrayed.
So I’m like, “Oh this is simple, let’s just
have a conversation.
Can you go up to the teacher and say,
‘Hey this really didn’t work for us,
I’m feeling really hurt. Do you think
we can start over?'”
And you would have thought there were
like five heads popping out of me.
Because they’re like, “No, we can’t talk to
our teacher. No, he won’t listen.”
And so they were so adorable. I’m like,
“Why not? This is a teacher
that you’ve been with for six months,
why not have the hard conversation?”
They’re like, “No, because he’s
the teacher. He makes the rules.
We listen, we follow suit,
and that’s what happens.”
So in this moment, as they were sharing
what they were so passionate about,
my heart ached for them,
knowing that they were so sad,
yet they couldn’t have a brave
conversation with their teacher,
someone who they built a relationship
for six months.
Yet on the other hand, the current
classroom they were in,
they were able to be brave and bold
and share what exactly was on their mind.
So, what was the difference?
So, in education, we talk a lot about The
Four C’s of creativity, of critical thinking,
of collaboration and communication.
And we know that all of this is really
important
for our students to be successful in the
world,
and there’s one foundational ingredient
that is so imperative to have,
and that’s courage.
As teachers, we have the power over
students– they look up to us,
they want to know how can we learn from
you, what else can you teach us?
And we must show them that courage
is the way to great achievements.
So how do we do this?
What does it look like to promote
courageous conversations in our classroom?
Three action steps for courage:
The first one, a safe learning
environment.
So we all know when students walk in,
we greet them right away.
We make them feel welcome, that
they’re a part of our class,
that we say hello by their name.
We know what they need.
We know what their interests are.
We know what they did last night,
we know what their hobbies are,
we know what their families are like.
And so this helps build that positive
learning environment,
so that they feel safe to take risks.
So on a personal note, how many of you
really enjoy working out?
Okay, so we got a couple people
in the audience, great.
And how many of you are like, “Oh I’m
still working on loving working out.”
Okay. That’s me. Working out is super
intimidating
because any time I go in it’s like,
all these buff muscles,
like people know exactly what they’re
doing in the mirror,
and I’m just kind of like fumbling
my way through.
There’s a lot of research about why
working out is good for you,
so I recently started– I’m like, okay,
I’m gonna work out, I’m gonna start,
give myself some good endorphins,
and where do you go to find the best
workout classes?
Groupon, of course!
So I buy the cheapest Groupon option,
and I go to the studio,
and as soon as I walk in they’re like,
“Hi Ming. Welcome. Today’s your first day.”
I’m like, “Yes, how did you know that?”
They’re like, “Oh, you’re in our system.
Grab your things,
let me show you where you can
put everything.
Here’s where you can stand, here’s the
bathroom…”
and so they navigated everything for me
so flawlessly
and then throughout the class they’re like,
“All right, keep going, you’re doing a great job.”
And at the end of the class, they checked in
with me again like, “How was it?”
“We hope to see you again, you did a great
job. It gets easier the more you do it.”
So, of course I came back two days later, and
the same person greeted me at the counter.
She’s like, “Hi Ming, welcome back.
How is it?”
In that safe learning environment for
me,
I believe that I could lift the three pound
weights
instead of the two pound weights this time.
And it wasn’t that they gave me
extra swag or anything,
although that would have been nice,
but it was just that personal connection
that belief that, “Hey, you’re here,
you belong here, we got you.”
And the best thing is that the other
participants in the workout class
were also equally supportive.
So imagine the impact that we
could have on our students,
if we designed our classroom the same
way that this studio
designed their learning environment.
The second one to building a courageous
classroom is modeling.
So our kids are always watching us, right,
whether we like it or not,
they’re always watching us and so
how we say and how we act must align.
And so how many of you have ever had
kids who have off-task behavior, right?
I know, none of us, right? That never
happens in education.
But let’s say, one random day there’s some
off-task behavior that’s happening,
and instead of addressing it of how we
can solve it,
what if we pose the question to the
students and it could sound something like,
“Hey, I’m about to have a really brave
conversation.
What I’m noticing is that this is not
the most effective learning atmosphere,
What can we do to work together to build
the best learning atmosphere,
so we can achieve results?”
And then hopefully the kids,
they’ve had a lot of practice and
they’re like, “Okay, let’s problem-solve.
What if we tried this?” And then another
student would chime in and chime in,
and then it’s building a culture
where we all solve problems together.
That’s part one of modeling.
Part two could be:
Let’s say a student is brave enough,
courageous enough
to have a conversation
with something that’s on their mind.
Maybe it’s a grade that they didn’t like,
maybe it’s a situation with a friend
that really upset them.
So they come up to us and they’re like,
“You know what? I’m really not happy with
this grade I got.
I don’t know if you calculated everything
correctly.”
Immediately, we start to
feel defensive, like,
“What do you mean I didn’t
calculate it correctly?
Of course, the calculator doesn’t lie, right?”
But what if instead we were like,
“Hey, thank you so much for
bringing this to my attention.
I really value our relationship and I care
about what you have to say.
Give me some time to process this, and
then I’ll get back to you.”
So that second part of modeling is that
it’s okay to give ourselves some time
to process and to come back to the
conversation later
because we care enough about it
to think through the conversation
and to not just shout out
what’s on our mind.
The third one is seeking feedback.
So we love giving feedback, am I right?
We’re always really good at telling kids
what they can get better at,
what else they can work on, because we
care about student success.
But when do we seek feedback from
students?
When are we asking them, “Hey, how was
this lesson for you?
Did you get a lot out of this hands-on
activity? Would you rather read like this?
What will work the best for you?”
And asking for feedback is scary because
what if kids are like,
“Oh actually, I didn’t really get much out
of this class.”
Or there’s a bunch of frowny emojis that
show up.
We’re modeling and seeking feedback in
courage, right?
And so when we’re doing this,
we’re showing kids that we value
learning through their eyes,
because when they are bold enough and
brave enough to tell us what they need,
that’s when their learning will flourish.
And so imagine a classroom, a school,
where students are having brave
conversations, not only with us,
but also with each other, and that we’re
building this lifelong skill of courage.
Because in elementary school,
courage looks like something’s not fair.
In junior high it looks like they’re learning
how to navigate their peers
and the peer pressure.
In high school, it might be transitioning
from being independent from mom and dad,
from applying to applications.
In college, we know dropout rates are happening
because of personal resourcefulness.
So this social emotional learning skill
is not just a one-time thing,
but rather, we get to build it for 12 years
for 13 years, and so what would it look like
if we devoted the same amount of time
to critical thinking, to collaboration,
to communication, to creativity,
that we did with courage?
Imagine the impact of students five years
from now, ten years from now,
when they’re advocating from themselves
and advocating from each other.
My name is Ming Shelby, and I am really
passionate
about having conversations around courage.
And if you are also interested in building
a community of courageous learners,
please reach out to me so that we can
have this great community,
where our students will flourish
and achieve greatness.
Thank you very much.