HOW TO ACTIVATE COURAGE
[Music]
[Music]
i
just gave
birth exactly
two months ago
and i am here
i am super grateful to the healthcare
heroes
who took such good care of us
and i am happy that my baby is healthy
especially since she was in my belly
during the peak of the pandemic
last year there wasn’t much data to
inform how
you know what impacts moms and their
fetuses
i wrestled with questions like is it
safe for me to get pregnant now
and if i do will i jeopardize my baby’s
growth and development
and what if no one’s allowed to be with
me during delivery
my long list of worries grew and grew
and grew until it mutated into this big
scary bully trying to push me around
but the bully was a disguise for
something i knew very well fear
fear of catching cold-hearted corona
fear of being far from my family during
my vulnerable time
and fear of hurting my unborn baby
while it would have been so easy to let
this bully take
me down i connected with something
inside of myself far more mighty than
fear and that was
my courage
interesting fact the cur and courage
comes from
latin which means heart
courage comes from the heart courage
matters
because every day we all have to do big
and little things we’ve never done
before despite the unknowns
so in a world where fears can instantly
show up and catch us off guard there’s
one question that stays with me
how do we call in courage right before
turning 30 i had an experience with
courage it changed my life i was anxious
and afraid because i was unemployed
pregnant with my first child waiting for
the bank to approve my first home and
trying out entrepreneurship as a new
life coach
in the past my fears would pile up on
turn to that conventional wisdom
feel your fears and face them anyway but
that wasn’t working
i was stuck in the mud because my fears
were too much to feel and face all at
once
i needed another way to get my hands on
courage
so how’d i do that i got curious
i wanted to know what exactly did my
courage look like
and how could i make it available to me
when i needed it most
my curiosity eventually led me to my
very own coaching toolkit
and in there i remembered metaphors
metaphors are magical because they are
powerful tools that can help you make
meaning of emotions that might otherwise
be difficult to understand
during my digging i discovered my
metaphor for courage
she has kind brown eyes rocks ruby red
lipstick and adorns gold bangles
she also rides a lion or a tiger
depending on the day
and she holds a weapon in each hand
all eight of them who is she
there she is one of the fiercest warrior
goddesses
and mothers in hinduism her name is
durga
ma this image comes to me from a
postcard i picked up
a decade earlier when i was studying
abroad in india at the time i didn’t
think anything of it but
fast forward to me all up in my fears
she showed
up durga was also much more than a
picture
she had this dynamic energy and she also
had something to say
when i tuned into my heart to listen i
heard her
say this
i am here with you the courage
power and strength you need is inside of
you with me
i got your back you are
more than enough and you
are not alone
i was blown away first of all i didn’t
know that warrior goddesses could talk
second of all
i didn’t think i was worthy of such an
empowering message
and if she could talk to me did that
mean i could talk to her
there was only one way to find out i
needed to talk to
my courage so that year i began to speak
to dordog both in my head and out loud
and whenever i spoke to her
she spoke back even during the times
when i was
too shaken up to reach out she’d come
through for example
when i was in the hospital and over 12
hours of labor with my son
i learned that he was in distress and i
got really scared
what if something were to happen to me
in the operating room
and what if my son didn’t bounce back
from the nicu
amidst my anesthesia i heard her say
you’ll both be fine
that assurance meant everything to me
because it gave me the mental strength i
didn’t even know i had to persevere
during one of the scariest times
of my life
now i want to invite you to try
something with me sit back
relax and let’s color outside the lines
for a minute
take a nice deep breath
close your eyes and tune into your heart
imagine your courage
what does your courage look like
don’t overthink just roll with whatever
emerges
there’s no right or wrong and it doesn’t
matter who or what you believe in
your courage is gonna show up the way it
looks and feels true
for you
now take another deep breath
stay tuned into your heart and this time
listen carefully
does your courage make a sound
if so who or what does it sound like
is there an energy to it what does your
courage
feel like
pay attention to whatever rises
and if you feel compelled to talk back
to it you can simply whisper
thanks let’s catch up later
when you’re done take a nice deep breath
to come back
and as you’re coming back i want to
thank you
and acknowledge how courageous you are
for
trying this out and stepping into the
unknown just for a little bit
again there’s no right or wrong this is
just a chance for you to picture the
possibilities as it relates
to communicating and connecting with
your courage
by the way i still talk to dorca till
this day she encouraged me to wear these
red sneakers with my black dress because
my postpartum feet cannot fit dress
shoes anymore
she also helped me build up the bravery
to voice my truth
and for me where i come from that’s huge
because if my
ancestors who were exploited by
colonizers
if they dared to stand up for themselves
they were punished in
unthinkable ways connecting with my
courage in this way also helps me tap
into something so much greater than
myself
allowing me to think big live big and
impact others in a really
big way as a life coach i have a lot of
conversations with people about their
fears
and it’s through those conversations
that i learned that
they could talk to their courage too one
of my clients
will call him perry he’s a salesman and
every day he’s got to put himself out
there to pay his rent and that can be
scary
so i guided him to tune in just like we
did and
picture his metaphor for courage this
is what he pictured
he’s perry the flying squirrel
but perry wasn’t having it he was not a
fan of free falling in the air
perry needed support and in a panic he
pleaded can you tell me when to pull the
parachute cord already
[Music]
suddenly a voice emerged from his chest
replying
you got this that
was a game changer not only did that
help perry’s
fear start to melt away but he found the
courage to
stop procrastinating launch his online
sales program
and he even left a long toxic
relationship
freeing him up to keep flying squirrel
suit
and all another client of mine will call
her maddie
discovered that a puma was her metaphor
for courage
pumas she was baffled pumas didn’t seem
as valiant as lions and tigers
we had to google the symbolism because
we didn’t know but what we found out was
really interesting
it turns out that pumas are fiercely
protective
wise and clever this made sense to
maddie okay
she could see her puma as a source of
strength to help her overcome the guilt
and the grief that she felt
stepping away from 20 years of
caretaking duties for her parent
maddie’s puma also made a sound
when she leaned in to listen she heard a
familiar voice
it was her cousin who lost her battle to
cancer
this didn’t freak out maddie though in
fact when she felt really anxious about
leaving this era of her life behind to
step into her new chapter
that voice would emerge saying
i didn’t make it but you
can ever since
maddie has embraced her puma she found
the courage to
make new arrangements so that she could
buy a brand new home
move out of state and she’s even
dreaming up her new business opportunity
now i know you might be wondering what’s
up with all these animals
and i’m happy to share that there are
people with other courage metaphors too
some of which ranged from trees
mountains and even the wind
as a mom i couldn’t help but wonder what
this courage activation could look like
for
a child so one evening after bedtime
stories i sat down with my four-year-old
and i asked
baby what does your courage look like
his response hmm
my courage looks like a little red
spider with blue hands and a blue tummy
and he sings his abcs is with me
when i asked him what the spider does
when he’s in the dark because he can get
really scared of the dark
he said mommy when the spider says hi to
me
i’m not scared anymore
the late english author j.r.r token once
said courage is
found in unlikely places i
couldn’t agree more and i believe that
connecting with our courage
in all its forms whether it’s the flying
squirrel
the puma or the spider is important
so the next time you feel scared
remember that you are more than enough
to access your courage from within
plus when you activate your courage
you encourage someone else to do the
same
take a moment tune into your heart
picture your courage listen to what
it says and don’t hesitate to talk back
to it
once we tune in we can stand up to
bullies
face the dark and confront the unknowns
all while riding lions and tigers
[Applause]