The Simple Formula that Builds Courage
[Music]
on june
3rd 2018 i opened a note on my phone and
began typing the following words
am i really going to give up on my
dreams of
building a successful business there’s a
long road ahead and there are no
guarantees
i don’t want to sell myself short
because i know i can do this
but the stress the uncertainty and the
super delayed gratification
just isn’t for me the next few days were
filled with deep questioning of my
identity i knew deep down that i wasn’t
a quitter
but after a failed product launch an app
launch that failed
not once not twice but three times
i felt like i would never be successful
maybe
i didn’t have what it takes to build a
successful business
maybe i wasn’t meant to achieve that
and while i want it so badly to give
into that fear
and let go of my dreams there was a
voice
inside of me that kept me going it said
jacqueline you can do this and that
voice
was courage as i’ve learned in my now
four years in business courage is
something we need
both in big moments and in small moments
most people think that courage is about
removing the fear
but in reality we all feel fear
and fear itself isn’t going anywhere
oxford dictionary defines courage as the
ability to do something that frightens
one
so if there was really a way to remove
the fear
then there would be no such thing as
courage because courage
by definition is about acting in spite
of the fear
so what if courage wasn’t about removing
fear
but instead was about adding belief
you see courage is like an equation
any time your belief is stronger than
your fear
the outcome is courage this equation
proves true in
all areas of my life any time i’ve
exhibited courage
take a look back at the exact words i
wrote in my journal entry
the day i wanted to give up my business
i said
i don’t want to sell myself short
because
i know i can do this my belief that i
could build a successful business
was stronger than my fear of failure
therefore
i had courage five years ago i decided
that i was going to run
a marathon i ran on the american cancer
society team in honor of a friend
who passed away far too young i wanted
to support this incredible cause
and give myself a new challenging goal
so
things are going pretty well up until
about three weeks before race day
when i was home from georgetown for the
weekend and i just finished my 20-mile
training run
and i noticed that my right ankle was
throbbing with
every step that i took at first i
thought
well you know maybe this could be normal
for a person who has just run 20 miles
because let’s be honest
that’s not normal so i headed back to dc
the next morning and found my ankle
still throbbing so i lit my way across
campus to the student health center
unfortunately there was a sports
medicine doctor who had an open
appointment later that day
a few hours later my world stopped the
doctor said to me
jacqueline you probably shouldn’t run
this marathon
it looks like you have a stress fracture
and it’s only going to get worse
every time that you run i felt like i
had worked
so hard for something only to be told
that i couldn’t have it
so i politely explained to the doctor
that i planned on running the marathon
in three weeks
and i then asked if there were any
recommendations she had so that i could
keep training
without putting too much strain on my
ankle
the doctor of course explained the risks
of running the marathon
and then she gave me a training plan
that involved biking and aqua jogging
that way i could keep up my endurance
without putting too much strain
on my ankle the big day came and my
parents
headed down to dc for the day to watch
me run by for 10 seconds and then get on
the metro and head to another spot in
the city because
all of the streets were closed to watch
me run by for another 10 seconds
and they did this over and over again
for
26.2 miles now that is what i call
love things were going pretty well at
the beginning
you can see my big smile at the start
line
at mile 6 and at mile 10 when i was
very excited about the free orange i was
given
and then at mile 12 the pain
really kicked in i kept thinking to
myself
how am i possibly going to run
another 14 miles
but then i had an idea
what if i just took the next
step i could totally do that
and then after that what if i just took
one more step i didn’t need to think
about the next 14 miles
all i needed to think about was the next
step
i began repeating the mantra one foot in
front of the other
over and over again in my brain
it caught a nice little rhythm where
each word
became another step like this
one foot in front of the other
and i probably repeated that phrase
about 20
000 times over the next two hours
and by the grace of god or the universe
or whatever you believe in
i cross that finish line clocking four
hours and 50 minutes
you can see the tear in this photo i’m
still not quite sure if it was a tear of
joy or it’s
your pain but nonetheless across that
finish line and as i’m sure you can
imagine
this is what happened next and yes it
was definitely
worth it while there were many moments
of courage
throughout my marathon journey the real
moment that tested me
was during mile 12. and while the fear
was strong
something else was stronger and that
was my belief all i did was repeat an
inspiring affirmation
that gave me enough courage to take the
next step
with each step i took my belief was
stronger than my fear
therefore i had courage so
why is it that these simple phrases
actually help us
affirmations are one way that we can
add belief back into the courage
equation and remember
when we add belief we create courage
affirmations are an example
of how our brains can form new
connections and
pathways these new connections and
pathways are essentially your brain
rewiring itself and they get stronger
with repetition
until they become normal this is
important because the more you repeat an
affirmation
the more likely your brain is to accept
that affirmation
as truth thus the more you repeat an
affirmation
the more belief you add back into the
courage equation
and remember when you add belief you
create
courage some of my favorite affirmations
include
i can do anything i put my mind to my
success is inevitable and i’m
always on the right path i can do hard
things
and it’s this or something better
if you truly want to build courage start
incorporating affirmations into your
daily routine
in order to make this new routine easy
and effortless i recommend that you say
your affirmations
out loud while you’re completing regular
tasks that way you don’t have to add any
additional time to your routine
some of my favorite times to say
affirmations are when i’m driving
doing dishes showering or folding
laundry
in addition to affirmations there are a
few other practices
that you can incorporate into your daily
routine to add belief
and thus create courage one of my
favorite practices
is doing hard things go outside
and run one mile longer than you think
you can
if you don’t think you can run a mile
just try anyway
you will be amazed at what you can
accomplish when you set your mind to a
goal
take a freezing cold shower get out of
bed the second your alarm goes off
the more often that you do hard things
the more you train your brain to believe
that you are capable of overcoming
anything that life throws at you
another practice that i’ve incorporated
into my daily routine
is visualization if you have even 30
seconds
every day to commit to your goals then
you have the time to add visualization
into your routine in order to practice
visualization all you need to do
is close your eyes and imagine a scene
in your future
in vivid detail every single morning
since the day that i found out that i
landed this tedx talk
i pictured the following scene i wake up
the morning after the video from this
talk goes live
i head downstairs to make coffee and
breakfast while my fiance richie is
upstairs and he decides
to scroll through his phone and check
out how many views
the talk has jack your
ted talk has ten thousand views
i hear richie screaming down the stairs
a few hours go by and i see a text pop
up from richie
now it has 70 000 views i log into my
amazon account and i see that i’ve sold
thousands of copies of my book stop
getting in your own way
i head over to my inbox and i see i have
dozens of inquiries
about potential speaking opportunities
see how vivid and specific my
visualization is
now it’s your turn to practice
visualization
sit up tall in your chair place your
hands on your lap
and close your eyes take a deep breath
in
and a deep breath out
i want you to imagine that you have just
accomplished
one of your biggest goals maybe you just
received an acceptance letter in the
from your dream college maybe you
sold your company or landed your dream
job
trust that whatever’s coming to you
intuitively
at this moment is meant for you
how does this scene look how do you
feel what are you wearing
who are you with the more detail
you can picture the better
take a few more seconds to soak up this
amazing moment
okay you may now open your eyes
visualization is also backed by science
because we come across so much
information on a daily basis
your brain has a filtering system called
the reticular
activating system the reticular
activating system
filters information based on your
thoughts and your beliefs
so when you visualize yourself achieving
your goals
your particular activating system then
looks for
opportunities to help make that vision
a reality by repeating
affirmations doing hard things and
practicing visualization
you will build your self-belief and when
you do that
you will create courage i’m so thankful
for the courage equation
because it brought me here to this stage
today without it
i would have given up on my dreams on
june 3rd
- and here’s
what’s so special about this i
am no different than you i simply
followed the formula my belief
was stronger than my fear therefore i
had the courage
to push forward and create the life of
my dreams
the life of your dreams is more than
possible for you
and now it’s your turn to create it i
can’t wait to see
the amazing things that you accomplish
thank you
you