A lesson for parents about raising a creative genius
[Applause]
we all
love a good rebel
harry potter wouldn’t be the hero he
adored had he not ruffled feathers
defied authority and broken a few rules
the same goes for matilda huck finn joe
march
and many more these rebels challenge the
status quo
and are not afraid of getting into a
little trouble
so you can imagine how
thrilled i was the morning i got a phone
call telling me my daughter cammy had
been sent
to the principal’s office
thrilled the wrong word confused upset
embarrassed that’s what i really felt
because no matter how inspiring the
heroes of our stories might be
in real life parents don’t want
rebellious children
we want kids who get straight a’s gold
stars
and lots of awards for good behavior
because we believe
that’s the secret recipe for creating
happy successful
adults so the question is does the world
need
more gold star students or does it need
creative rebels there’s been a lot of
talk about creativity over the past few
decades
we know it’s essential creativity is at
the heart of innovation and without it
society’s become still and progress dies
in fact a recent poll over 1500
ceos found that creativity was the
single best indicator
of future success creativity also has an
impact on mental health
with anxiety and depression on the rise
the creative process
provides us with a flexible empowering
sense of control
that can ease the tension of our modern
world
it’s a natural mood lifter a confidence
builder
and a joyful part of our human
experience
the good news we’re all born creative
nasa scientists conducted a long-term
study and found that 98 percent
of five-year-olds scored at creative
genius levels the bad news
is that by adulthood that number
plummets
to just two percent so what happens to
our creativity
most people will point their fingers at
the school systems after all
we know creative students suffocate in
our factory model of education
while conformity is rewarded
but if schools are killing creativity
they aren’t doing it alone they have an
accomplice
and it’s us the parents full of love
and good intentions we stick with rigid
systems
that smother creativity because
well-behaved kids feel safer
and because no parent wants the
heartbreak of a child
left out left behind or standing out and
left
filled so any warning sign of disruption
is a signal to intervene but there
is no creativity without
disruption bringing something new into
this world whether it’s a thing or an
idea
means first making a mess
and parents we understand this better
than most
i mean have you seen a birth
so gross
but so amazing we know disruption is
sometimes warranted
to create positive change it’s why we
love the stories of heroic rebels
but while creativity is a rebellious act
parenting a rebel still feels
dangerous at just nine years old
my kami is the most creative person i
know
she’s not just artistic she is a problem
solver
she thinks on her feet and is always
making connections
of course that creative spirit also
means she is
not afraid to push back on rules or
boundaries that feel
stifling and that’s precisely what got
her in trouble
15 minutes before i got that dreaded
phone call from her school
cami was playing at recess when a boy
grabbed her from behind
tight my little firecracker broke free
told him to stop and went on her way but
then he did it again
except this time she couldn’t escape
now i don’t know what she was feeling in
that moment but i can imagine my
feelings
how many situations have stopped me in
my tracks
and left me feeling stuck that’s exactly
how i felt as i listened to the woman on
the phone as she described the situation
and it’s these moments where our
creativity
saves us because creativity isn’t
reserved only for the artistic elite
it’s the foundation
of problem solving a necessary skill for
every person on this planet
without creative minds there is no
social change
no new technology and no answers to
life’s big
questions so when that boy grabbed my
daughter for the second time
she went into problem-solving mode
and she used what she had her teeth
not surprisingly it worked as soon as
she bit down
that boy let go and he was punished but
so was kami
the school called to let me know she’d
be spending lunch in the principal’s
office because of their no
violence policy as i listened
to the woman on the phone i felt torn
my desire to please authority and raise
a charming well-behaved
child momentarily quieted
the anger that was stirring inside but i
just kept thinking
what else was she supposed to do give up
submit she had found
a solution to her problem yes it was
disruptive and yes
a non-violent approach would have been
preferred
but what if there isn’t one if
history and recent events have taught us
anything
the solutions we most desperately need
are often born from creative disruption
our world’s biggest challenges require
more
than innovative ideas they demand
each of us to get comfortable with
the uncomfortable to be
rebellious but we’re not
great at teaching our kids that reality
instead we place them on a conveyor belt
that tries to shape them into a model
student
we expect good grades and a long list of
extracurriculars
we praise only the most socially
acceptable behaviors
while hiding any messy bits in the
shadows
our kids are paying attention
they hear how we talk about anyone
who doesn’t fit the mold
they understand not to stir the pot or
drift away from cultural standards
and they know what skills
behaviors and personalities have the
highest value and they have been
calculating their worth by those
standards
since day one
as i pictured my daughter sitting in the
principal’s office
i realized i had a choice i could either
teach her
that following the rules should be her
top priority
or that breaking them is sometimes
necessary
and let’s be honest telling her to just
play nice
would have been easy but what would that
mean for her future
would she be willing to think outside
the box in a similar situation
a more dangerous one would she be
willing
to stand up stand out
no this was my chance not just to
comfort her
but to make sure shame didn’t extinguish
her
creative spark as we sat down after
school i approached the conversation
carefully
do you think the school’s no biting rule
is a good one i asked
yes she said softly so what else could
you have done
she was quiet for a long time
and then finally said i guess i could
have kicked him
we both laughed as she realized there
were not a lot of non-physical
approaches
so we imagined different scenarios we
talked about what she thought was right
and fair
i told her i was on her side glad that
she stood her ground
and her creativity served her well
ten minutes was all it took to mold the
disruption into
a meaningful learning experience
that’s the creative power we have as
parents
while it may take time for our schools
to catch up with our modern world
there is so much we can do right now
to save our kids creativity we can value
courage over grades we can praise
mistakes
celebrate failures and make room
for dissent because if we
really want our kids to succeed we need
them
to stay the creative geniuses they were
born
to be and we do that
by teaching them that sometimes
rebellion is good