Becoming Trauma Sensitive through the Trauma Dance
[Music]
have you ever wondered
if a person can recover after a tragic
event
can we heal or are we forever damaged or
changed
and what about after numerous traumas
is healing possible and
what if anything can we do to help
whether it’s to help others or to help
ourselves
if you’ve asked yourself these questions
you’re not alone
as a licensed psychologist for over 30
years i’ve worked primarily with victims
of trauma
this refers to those who have suffered
the devastating effects
of abuse assaults accidents addictions
death divorce illness injury neglect
natural disasters substance abuse
violence
and more for the last 15 years i’ve had
the privilege
of helping victims of human trafficking
and sexual exploitation
i’ve learned that most every one of us
has or will experience one or more
traumas in our lifetime
research on trauma confirms its
prevalence
one in four u.s children experience some
form of maltreatment
and over one in three girls and one in
seven boys
experience sexual abuse as a minor
according to studies by russell
finkelhorn and others
and over one in three women and one in
four men
are victims of rape physical violence
and or stalking by an intimate partner
reported in a study by black and
associates
forty to fifty percent of marriages
ended divorce
and natural disasters affect thousands
upon thousands of people every year
the comprehensive study on adverse
childhood experiences or
aces reported that one in six people
experienced four or more
and many of the amazing survivors of
abuse and prostitution i know
have shared of having suffered five or
more
of these childhood traumas given the
odds
everyone will experience at least one
but more likely
multiple traumas in their lifetime
overwhelming trauma experiences leave
victims feeling
confused and emotionally unsteady
what helps survivors heal after
horrendous life events
people we need people to help
steady us and as i’ve traveled around
the world
and trained on trauma recovery i share
the following belief
everyone can be part of the healing
process
you don’t have to be a professional
counselor everyone can help
but to help we need to understand trauma
with our head and with our heart
we want to be what i call trauma
sensitive
not just trauma informed we
we need to learn about what trauma is
how it affects people
and what are the common symptoms and
thoughts feelings and behaviors
we call this psycho-education but as we
gain this
head knowledge our heart increases
its capacity to show genuine empathy
and when victims learn about common
trauma responses and reactions
it’s like a burden is lifted and they
experience
normalization and validation or as i
like to say
they realize they’re not alone and
they’re not crazy
with this trauma-sensitive perspective
we can help others more effectively
and help ourselves heal more quickly
well to help us become more trauma
sensitive let me share the trauma dance
i developed this to demonstrate the life
of an individual who’s experienced
multiple traumas it’s an
external expression of an
internal reality
so it all begins with the life of anna
now
while i use a female in this example the
victim could be anyone
she will demonstrate the life of a child
beginning around
age seven life is good and she feels
safe secure and happy
life life
she has just experienced a trauma
it could be any of a number of horrific
life events
such as family violence or sexual abuse
her ability to cope is surpassed by this
overwhelming
unwanted experience she doesn’t know
what to think
what to feel or what to do
she’s overcome with a variety of
emotions
she may feel angry betrayed
confused fearful grief stricken
or guilty all common to those who
suffered a trauma
well slowly the destabilizing effects
decrease
and she begins to heal perhaps weeks
months or years later depending on
whether or not she tells anyone what
happened
and depending on whether or not she has
supportive
caring people in her life
well finally she becomes stable
but she adapts she’s no longer carefree
life life
another trauma perhaps a serious
accident or her parents divorce or the
death of a family member once again
her ability to cope is surpassed by this
overwhelming experience
and like before she doesn’t know what to
think what to feel and what to do
she’s confused and uncertain
again this may go on for weeks months or
years later
depending on her disclosure and her
support system
but also depending on how she
internalizes
the experience because unfortunately
many victims of trauma develop unhealthy
negative thoughts and beliefs
which generally focus on self-blame
eventually she begins to stabilize and
she adapts once again
she’s now more cautious
life life
[Music]
another trauma she’s now a teenager and
perhaps it’s a friend’s suicide or
another incident of sexual abuse
what is she feeling probably fear and
anxiety
along with the usual guilt and shame
what might she be thinking or telling
herself
perhaps such statements as i should have
known better
i’m so stupid i can’t trust anyone
it’s my fault
and what about school how might she be
doing if she was doing well before
now she’s preoccupied with other
concerns her schoolwork
activities and friendships all suffer
many victims of multiple interpersonal
trauma
begin to believe that they deserve what
is happening
they incorporate harmful coping skills
and behaviors
these can include eating disorders lying
stealing perfectionism promiscuity
self-harm substance abuse rebellion
vandalism
and more they’re trying to lessen or
deaden that emotional pain
various research studies by courtois
vanderkolk and others
have found that once a person has been a
victim of interpersonal trauma such as
sexual abuse
they’re more likely to be re-victimized
anna’s life now feels out of control and
she longs for that happiness safety
and security she felt before
these horrible events have changed her
view of
people and safety and trust
she feels helpless and hopeless
self-hatred and self-blame
now she fully embraces this protective
fearful stance she’s hyper vigilant
alert
to everything around her in an effort to
foresee and
possibly prevent the next terror
life life
another trauma she’s now a young adult
and
perhaps it’s a rape or a physical
assault
and before she can regain her footing
again
another trauma perhaps it’s the death of
a parent or a controlling relationship
and as the world spins around her
she responds in one of two ways she
either becomes
that hyper vigilant in a feeble attempt
to fend off
additional hurt and harm and also to
keep people at a distance
or she’s overcome with helplessness and
apathy
she leaned that there’s nothing she can
do and no one that could help
she’s now in this continual state
of instability she’s unable to recover
on her own
this is now her life
can you remember back to when she was
happy and smiling
now her life is full of this internal
conflict and chaos
remember the trauma dance is an external
expression of an internal
reality
this multiplicity of traumas
leads to this instability
which leads to an inability to overcome
victims need help in order to regain
that sense of
safety and security so what can we do
to help whether it’s to help others or
ourselves
let’s return to the trauma dance
so as anna continues to struggle a
caring person comes to attempt to
stabilize her
hopefully anna will allow her to help
but what happens
how is our helper doing instead of
stabilizing anna the helper has now
become unstable
this illustrates what we call vicarious
trauma
that’s the trauma experienced by those
who work with the traumatized
when we hear story after story of grief
sadness sorrow and suffering
we can begin to experience it ourselves
so what if more people come alongside
they’re determined to help alleviate
anna’s chaos
each firmly holding on
does it work the struggle
continues but instead of
grabbing and trying to help her
individually what if they work
together how are they doing
anna now feels more safe stable and
secure
she can focus on life and not just on
surviving
when the helpers work together in unity
they’re able to support anna more safely
and effectively
see as helpers we need to work with
others to share the load and to guard
against vicarious trauma
and as victims we need to allow others
to help we need to surround ourselves
with as many caring supportive people as
possible
whether it’s friend or family co-worker
or counselor
professional pastor priest or neighbor
with safe people healing becomes
possible
and possibilities become reality
so what do you do if you don’t have a
team
well let’s look at one more scenario
we return to anna when she’s overwhelmed
this time however a caring person comes
just to be present
she knows that she can’t stabilize anna
physically and emotionally on her own
she listens she provides
non-judgmental and unconditional
encouragement
anna slowly begins to open up
see research confirms that emotional
healing increases with the presence of a
supportive caring person
in the victim’s life sometimes
the emotionally wounded just needs
someone to be there
not to fix anything or to do or to say
anything
their presence gives us the space we
need to heal
i’ve never regretted helping someone in
need whether
by myself or with others and i’ve never
forgotten the kindness of others
during dark difficult times in my own
life
to answer our original questions
is healing possible
yes i’ve had the
privilege to witness emotional healing
in the lives of those who’ve been
coerced and controlled beaten and
battered
used abused and sold how i wish i could
share of those who’ve recovered and even
flourished after traumas and studies on
human resilience abound
inspiring us with stories of wounded
people
who’ve overcome overwhelming
circumstances
the survivors the overcomers
the thrivers
can you help yes
you’ve gained head knowledge about
trauma and how it affects people
and you’ve hopefully gained more heart
empathy
you are becoming trauma sensitive
you can help others more effectively and
help yourself more readily
for the despairing and downtrodden
you can help ignite hope
you