Dancing in the Grey
Transcriber: Nguyen Phuong Nga
Reviewer: Rhonda Jacobs
I’ve lived in Southern California,
specifically by the beach,
for the majority of the last 14 years.
That’s almost half of my time
on this planet.
That’s a long time.
But it’s only within this last year
that I finally made the decision
to learn to surf.
Now, the idea had been floating around
in my mind for quite some time,
but the mood struck me last November,
and I just decided to go for it.
I just want to point out that I made
the decision to take my first surf lesson
at one of the coolest times
of the year in L.A.
when a 4/3 wetsuit was needed.
Thank goodness for great
counsel to advise me
on what a 4/3 wetsuit was -
the thickest, warmest wetsuit possible.
The decision to finally
hop on a board and paddle out
has got to be one of my best yet
and definitely a highlight
of my last year.
Not only has every single
lesson and experience
with me and mother nature
made me feel completely alive
and in alignment with a higher
form of consciousness -
I mean, picture it:
ice cold water cutting through
your fingers as you paddle out,
the ice cold water
splashing into your face
like you just jumped into an ice bath,
the sun beating down
on your back and in your face,
providing you with any and all comfort
that you could be looking for,
and then finally
getting out past the break
to see the shoreline
from a different perspective,
putting the rest of your life
into perspective.
Those physical sensations I just described
are why it has been the best decision.
Because all of that
is your mind, body and heart
being in the same space at the same time.
And that is a gentle reminder
that there’s a force out there
greater than all of us.
But let’s not talk about
that force quite yet.
Because what I just described
is the paddle out,
but the paddle in
is a completely different story.
The paddle in
is a lesson in letting go
and surrender.
Now, you see, when you paddle in,
timing and intuition is involved.
Most of the time,
at least in my case as a beginner,
you fall off your board,
you stand up too soon,
you don’t stand up quick enough,
and there’s a good chance
a wave just pulls you under.
And when that happens, it’s terrifying.
You feel so helpless,
and as much as you want to fight it,
fighting it and resisting it
is the worst thing
that you can possibly do.
And really, it’s just best
to not fight it,
to trust that that force
that just helped you paddle out
is going to help you pop back up
and to let that wave take you
and dance with it.
I share this story with you
because surfing
has taught me to surrender,
to accept
and to dance confidently in the grey.
In my experience, most people
love things black and white,
no mixing of colors, zero intersection
of the two, a.k.a. zero grey.
Why?
In black and white
things are “seemingly” certain.
Things are “seemingly” known.
Things are “seemingly” safe.
And I understand this
because I swear this is one of
my main life lessons on this planet
that I am probably forever navigating.
In these spaces of grey,
uncertainty has its home.
Main address: right here for all of us.
See, in grey,
there are so many unknowns.
Things don’t always feel safe.
And I truly believe that this concept
is relevant right now
because of the global pandemic
that we are all collectively facing
as a society together,
working through together,
processing together,
which is forcing us to live in the moment
and just be
kind of like when you get
knocked off your board in the paddle in,
to let go of this idea of black and white
while attempting
to not worry about the past
or get caught up
into the what-ifs of the future
and really trying our best
to be comfortable.
Find our footing, and lead heart-forward
in these uncomfortable grey spaces.
But it’s hard to do.
Hi.
My name is Britt Turpack,
and I am a passionate
mental health advocate,
motivational speaker and representative
of NAMI West Side, Los Angeles.
As someone who teaches holistic,
positive coping strategies
such as mindfulness, meditation and yoga
on a day-to-day basis,
all practices that work towards this idea
of “being in the moment,”
being comfortable in the unknown -
they’re all gray spaces -
you would think I would have this down,
but I’m laughing because I don’t.
You see, I’m just as much a student
as all of my students,
and it really is my clients
who are more my teachers.
So I’m constantly in practice.
And as much as I know
what it means to be in alignment,
in the moment,
letting go, surrendering, acceptance …
all of these buzzwords
that we hear so often
that theoretically make a lot of sense -
but knowing …
and knowing …
and I mean knowing
feeling,
they’re two completely different things.
And really it took me
that first surf lesson back in November
to put all of this together.
But I wanted to be real for a second
and talk about what do you do
when you are in the grey?
Because making the most of a situation
and attempting to be comfortable
in an uncomfortable space
doesn’t always feel good.
And I only speak from experience,
but in my experience, it doesn’t.
It’s challenging,
and it’s sticky and nauseating.
And sometimes you feel
powerless and overwhelmed,
and the thought of leading with your heart
and finding your footing,
it seems impossible.
But think of it this way.
It’s almost like making
the most of a situation
and finding what makes
the chokeable chewable.
Thanks to my best friend
who pointed that one out to me.
So I encourage you
to look at these seemingly
chokeable moments
as teachable moments.
Moments of expansion.
Moments making you
the best version of yourself.
So the lesson.
What’s the lesson in all of this?
Grey is inevitable.
And like that ocean wave,
it will always, always be there.
So when the uncertainty and getting
knocked off your board does arrive,
I encourage you to welcome it
with arms wide open.
Imagining it like a houseguest,
knowing that it isn’t becoming
your permanent roommate,
but it’s here to stay for a period of time
and teach you something.
And while visiting,
you are going to accept it,
make it feel at home,
listen to the message
it has to teach you
and know and trust that it will eventually
leave and pass right through you.
Growth is uncomfortable.
Transition is uncomfortable.
Being in the process of positive
change is uncomfortable.
Uncertainty is uncomfortable.
All grey spaces.
But that is where the most beautiful
transformation happens.
So the next time you’re paddling in,
and you just get knocked off your board,
let go,
ride the wave,
dance with the wave.
Because when we dance
confidently in the grey,
the colors of life
show up so much brighter.
Thank you.