Resilient by Design
i invite you to journey with me
through four very different character
story lines
first imagine you are a substitute
teacher
it’s 8 30 in the morning and the bell
just rang to begin the day
you look out at a sea of unfamiliar
rowdy
middle school students wanting to calm
the room
and take roll you notice a student
wearing a baseball hat
definitely against school policy you
call out
young man you need to take that hat off
and put it away for the day
the class goes silent
the student slowly takes off the hat and
looks up
you immediately realize it was not a
little boy
but instead a pale girl with a bald head
next you are a proud parent attending
your daughter’s high school graduation
you and your family feel so excited for
this major milestone
as you listen to the names being called
and all the following cheers
your mind keeps flashing back to the
week before
when you attended a different more
emotional
graduation celebration an even grander
milestone
the flashback is from the pediatric
oncology graduation celebration
for all the patients who had made it
to their high school graduation many of
which you recognize from long days at
the clinic
suddenly you’re back in the auditorium
when you hear your daughter’s name
called on the loudspeaker you watch her
walk across the stage
and your tears of joy are linked to so
much more
the third envision yourself in line at
your favorite local coffee shop
you’re looking up at the menu to confirm
you do indeed want the drink you always
order
you notice a five-year-old boy and his
mother in front of you in line
the little boy is tugging on his mom’s
shirt saying mommy mommy look
he points directly at the barista taking
their order
and asks why does she have so many bumps
and marks on her neck
the barista politely smiles and covers
her scars
the mother of the boy apologizes the
barista responds
no worries your drinks will be up
shortly
this last one will be easy you are you
right here right now take a look at me
what do you see maybe a confident young
speaker
or a happy girl with long brown hair and
fashionable earrings
let me ask you another question
what don’t you see you can’t see
a 24 year old woman who is currently
dealing with fertility
doctors in the hopes of becoming a
mother in the future
she has the egg count of a 45 year old
woman due to the amount of treatments
and
other chemotherapy she has received
since age 11.
have i peaked your curiosity to the
connections throughout these storylines
i suspect you may have guessed by now
the journey i invited you on
is all part of my own story
my name is rachel elliott i’m a
resiliency speaker
advocate young professional proud vcu
graduate
and three-time cancer survivor
i’m here today to share my story of
adversity with the hopes you will see
through gratitude positivity and
compassion
you have the choice to view all
obstacles in life
as an opportunity to become a more
resilient human
as a sixth grader in the spring of 2008
i spent three months in the pediatric
intensive care unit
with a flesh-eating bacteria called
necrotizing fasciitis
the team of doctors was without any
clear understanding how a seemingly
healthy 11 year old girl
could get so sick they performed
countless
inconclusive tests but ultimately i made
a miraculous recovery
and was discharged throughout those
three months
the doctors guessed it may have been
cancer but it wasn’t until july of that
same year that i was diagnosed with
acute
lymphoblastic leukemia
it was actually a relief to some degree
as now we understood more of the medical
puzzle
and how my immune system could have been
so suppressed that i contracted the
bacteria
the diagnosis led to a two-year
treatment plan full of chemotherapy
fearful hospital stays spinal taps
and of course hair loss
but ultimately it was the beginning of
my journey to finding inner resilience
eckhart tolle says life will give you
whatever experience
is most helpful for the evolution of
your consciousness
as an 11 year old cancer patient this
quote hung in my hospital room and i
stared at it every day
these words were the tool that helped me
realize that through this diagnosis
i had the power to become a stronger
version of myself
and although not always easy i even
began to find
moments of gra to be grateful for the
opportunity to evolve with this
challenge
acceptance and gratitude are the first
component in my resiliency formula
i want to be sure you hear this
important aspect of the process
i first chose to truly understand and
then accept
the challenge being presented which led
to me finding gratitude
every day throughout those two years of
treatment brought new challenges
some days i was mad others incredibly
sad
and some too weak to feel anything but i
was on a mission
i finished the two years of treatment
was able to enjoy my high school years
cancer-free i graduated and headed off
to the college of charleston in south
carolina
i remember being so grateful to attend
my high school graduation
in the winter of 2015 after five years
in remission during my freshman year of
college
i noticed some unusual bruising on my
legs
i went to the school clinic for a blood
test
and the results showed something was off
additional testing confirmed the
unthinkable
the cancer had relapsed
just like that in a split of a second i
withdrew from school
rushed home to my team of doctors at vcu
and began a more intensive
two-year treatment plan i remember being
so
angry thinking how is this my reality
but i had learned the lesson before and
knew it was important to feel that pain
but staying in the misery was not the
answer
so i focused on what i could control my
attitude
i found moments to be joyful i had epic
water bottle flip challenges with my
little brother
i playfully joked with the doctors and
nurses about how lucky they were to be
seeing me every day again
i created a leaderboard for all my uno
wins
during long days at the clinic and i got
a new puppy
a bernice mountain dog named toby
being optimistic even when i was
struggling helped shift my perspective
choosing to adapt and positivity are the
second component in my resiliency
formula
and as you will see i sure needed it
in may of 2015 just two months into that
relapse treatment plan
i found myself back in the icu
a team of doctors had identified
multiple bacterias and viruses in my
blood
i was put into a drug-induced coma and
on a life-saving machine
called ecmo that took over the function
of my heart and lungs
after i woke up from the coma i spent
the next 100
days in the icu regaining my strength
learning to walk and ultimately giving
my body the time it needed to heal
from all the infection
it was the summer time and all i wanted
was to be out of the hospital
i set a goal to be home by my birthday
august 21st
every day i replaced the thoughts of
this isn’t fair why is this happening to
me
with the joy i felt from the little
milestones
being able to sit up taking a sip of
water
taking one step then 10
then walking a hundred yards
i focused on how far i had come and my
ultimate birthday wish
came true
the chemotherapy and other treatments
did get rid of the cancer but it is also
what caused my immune system to be so
weak
and how i got so sick i chose to end the
chemo protocol at the time
because no cancer cells were present i
spent the next several months
continuing to recover and resume normal
life
i transferred to vcu and took online
classes towards my college degree
i got a part-time job at the local
coffee shop
and i even ran a 10k
i had no idea i would have to deal with
yet another relapse
in october of 2016 the second relapse
happened
at this point my learned grit must have
kicked in as i was
truly unsure how i was going to do this
all over again
it was the sheer positivity and
acceptance that i had been practicing
since age 11
that allowed me and my family to take a
deep breath and go about researching a
better way to combat this disease
i was truly blessed to be enrolled in an
immunotherapy clinical trial at the
children’s hospital of philadelphia
the three months of treatment were
mostly outpatient
and much less invasive than the previous
ones
which allowed me and my family to enjoy
the holiday season
in a philadelphia hotel
cart t-cell gene therapy is the process
of taking one’s own t-cells and
modifying them in a lab
they are then re-injected into the body
and immediately attack any cancer cells
brilliant huh immunotherapy is an
emerging pillar of cancer treatment
i was again cancer free in january of
2017
and i’m proud to report that i am in
what i refer to as
forever remission it was this stage of
the journey that i truly began to
understand the third component in the
resiliency formula
compassion the struggles i faced
allowed me to feel for others who were
also struggling
often more than myself like the children
and parents i met at children’s hospital
philadelphia who are dealing with
chronic
lifelong illnesses or the many women who
have dealt with the emotions of
childbearing attempts
and painful fertility drugs even back to
the substitute teacher
and the little boy in the coffee shop i
can choose to understand they had no ill
intent
she didn’t know that i had special
permission to wear a baseball hat at
school
nor had the little boy ever seen a trach
scar
i can choose to see from their
perspective and not take any of it
personally
sharing compassion and understanding in
turn
allowed me to heal and become more
resilient
my story is of course unique to me but
you too have dealt with many obstacles
in life
as well as the collective challenges we
are all facing today
in life adversity is guaranteed but we
have the choice to focus
only on the negative heartbreaking
aspects
or discover ways to grow and evolve
to identify where we want to be and
strive towards it
i believe my resiliency formula is
universal and it does not take three
cancer diagnoses to implement
you can use it to help navigate any
challenges that come your way in life
i invite you to grab onto these
practices of gratitude
positivity and compassion they have the
power to shift your perspective
and make you a more resilient human by
choice
resilient by design thank you