Its okay to not follow your dreams you are not lost.
hi
everyone i’m nikki mehra a fashion
blogger based out of new delhi
now i’m sure when you see a fashion
blogger stand here before you to give a
talk you’d expect me to give you a
textbook inspirational quote of how you
should believe in your dreams
how you should follow your dreams but
i’m going to tell you
to do the exact opposite of this
i’m going to tell you it is ok to not
follow your dreams
you know why because life is
not like the movies you’re not born with
a childhood dream
you’re not sure your entire life and you
don’t work with all your will and
passion in achieving that dream
dreams change life is more complicated
than that
you grow up to be a different person and
your dreams and goals are not
etched in stone and that’s okay
are you still best friends with your
nursery friends
if the answer to that question is what
i’m here to tell you
that it is okay if your dreams change
you can grow up to be a different person
and want to be something entirely
different
than what you imagined in your childhood
so next time someone tells you that
you’re lost
or you don’t know what you’re doing with
your life tell them this
i am not lost i am growing
and evolving and a part of this process
means that my dreams and goals are
evolving too
let me tell you how this fashion blogger
was born
now i have to admit fashion blogging
was not a career choice i had foreseen
as a kid
i mean sure i would paint my face with
my mom’s
makeup every now and then or i would
click 10
000 pictures on my dad’s old camera but
that wasn’t
that was at an age where i was
too young to care about career choices
surprisingly for my mom and dad i was a
really good student
i excelled in school and i had my entire
life planned out
i would take up economics as my career
and work towards consulting and i did
just that
i graduated with an honours degree in
economics from delhi university
and i loved the subject
then a graduate degree in economics
happened
and if i remember i think i was really
involved in the first year of my studies
i mean as involved as a student studying
linear algebra and real analysis can be
now i’m sure you know this course can be
really demanding
and really hard and it was the same for
me
so i really needed a creative outlet
and fashion was something i was always
interested in
back then blogging was very new in india
it was naturally developed so i did not
get into this
with any particular goal in mind
but to my surprise i started gaining a
significant following
of women of my age who were very
interested in seeing
how i helped them with wardrobe
solutions
and i have to be honest that feeling
that
first initial feeling of being famous
for an obscure college girl is
exhilarating
but i did not quit college this is not
one of those inspiring stories
i feel india may i see stories come to
nego miltiyan
may be because we’re a risk-averse
society
or maybe because we are brought up
[Music]
or maybe because we have an imaginary
timeline in our head
especially women 21 graduation
respectful stable career late 20s
and by 30 you have to have a kid
otherwise they say your biological clock
is ticking but i feel like that
holds back a lot of talent i mean i’m
sure
a lot of you are here because you love
economics
but i’m also sure that a lot of your a
lot of you here have
different interests probably those that
are not so well paying
your opportunity costs so to say and i
had my opportunity cost as well
so i did not quit college i decided to
stick around
much to the annoyance of my teachers by
this point
and i tried to juggle between blogging
and studies now
i have to say it was hard just
[Music]
look down upon karthiya it’s not a
cakewalk
my parents had to hear all sorts of
nasty things and that killed me inside
you know those meme relatives that you
have i have a couple of those
as well and my parents had to hear all
sorts of things
um they heard stuff like you don’t love
your daughter
you’re not responsible parents because
you’re letting her make such a bold
career choice
then of course was my partner who
had to break up with me because his
parents weren’t comfortable
with me putting my life out like that on
social media
i heard things like
the inevitable comparison my brother was
this really successful finance guy
doing his mba from i am in about
and here i was
somebody who had such a stable economics
career
and gave that up for something as bold
and unstable
as blogging my phone
even mom dad actually used to think that
i am doing nothing with my life
where in fact i was not managing one
but
i had multiple such friends around me
i remember i had my semester exams
coming up
and swarovski chose me as the indian
ambassador
it was a fancy trip i had to go to paris
for three days
shoot all over the city for swarovski’s
in-house magazine
and my macroeconomics paper was clashing
with this so i told my professor i had
fallen sick and i requested him to
postpone the exam
he agreed of course but he told me that
he will make a tougher exam
for me because he used to rewrite a
separate paper
which now that i think about it was a
very unnecessary condition
but i agreed to it nonetheless to make
matters worse my flights were scheduled
in such a way
would you directly airport say call it
janata to give my exam
so imagine on my way back from my first
international
work trip in the plane i was revising my
macroeconomic notes
while obviously being sleep deprived
what i’m trying to say is that it was
all worth it for me
so when everything was said and done i
realized
the lens to which i was willing to go to
for a career possibility that did not
even exist
a year ago and at the cost of a career
for which i had worked for my entire
life
this made me realize what i actually
wanted to do after college
my interests had changed and that is
what i would like to focus upon here
there is always so much talk about
chasing your dreams following your
dreams
but people never talk about the fact
that dreams can change too
they can and they will change it is a
part of you growing up
your goals are not etched in stone sure
there is a lot of some cost involved
i had spent 22 years of my life
working towards this goal and i was
really good at it i was the topper of my
batch
but i realized maybe i was even better
at doing something else and i loved it
more as well
so for those of you who are on a path
that you’re sure of
go for it economics needs people like
you
our global our domestic economies are
not at their best
and to be frank the 21st century is
really missing
it’s keens and freedmen but for those of
you who are not sure
listen to your inner voice
about what you love to do and if you
have not felt it
you will i assure you and when you do
do not ignore that voice you will be
scared
you will be skeptical people around you
will be
skeptical and people around you will
advise you against it
but do not listen to them i’m confident
you will enjoy every bit of this new
adventure
the successes the failures all of it
it’s not like the movies to be honest
it’s not like
you wake up one day and you realize this
is not what you want to do
you press pause you press reset
and bam you’re successful you
have to pay your dues i struggled
immediately when i joined this career
because no industry is welcoming to
newcomers
and i had a rude realization of this
when i had a really big project it was
one of my
first big projects i was so excited i
rehearsed all my lines
i was on set before time we were set to
roll
the director called me and wanted to
have a little chat
when he got to know that i do not come
from a fashion background and that
i’m an economics student he asked me to
pack up and leave
because he was not confident that i have
the experience that’s required
to be a part of this project and i have
to do that
i feel jb steady
to convince yourself to overcome the
fear that you will be as successful or
you will earn
as much as you were set to earn in your
previous career
i had that battle as well because
initially when i joined the industry
they were far more successful people
than me
and i was not getting opportunities so
for the first
year and a half i either worked for free
or i worked
very low paying jobs
and that constantly made me question my
decision
it constantly made me feel nikki
did you become too inspired by these
motivational speeches
should you have stuck to reality i asked
myself this question all the time for
the first year and a half
what i’m trying to tell you here is
whenever you decide
to shift your goals do it without
hesitation
but expect that for a while it will be a
harder path to pursue
because you’re moving outside your
comfort zone
so expect the rejections
i worked day and night
to reach a point where i was the only
indian influencer to be flown to meet
rihanna
i have been in and on the cover of
magazines and i’m so proud to have a
community
of close to four lakh people now but
this was not luck
and honestly i feel luck rarely comes by
i mean
ask 2020 right
so from my experiences
of uncertainty and hardships that crop
up
when you’re changing your field at any
given point
i decided to help those who are going
through a similar phase i went
went through a couple of years ago my
team and i
are developing a tangible platform where
the doctors
lawyers engineers teachers economists of
tomorrow
have a shot at their plan b and know
that their plan a is not their entire
life etched out in stone
because i truly believe in this i mean
imagine india if gandhi had not quit law
or imagine a cricketing world in which
dhoni
was still a ticket collector or imagine
a dc universe in which
bruce wayne still continued to do his
family business
their decisions to alter their career
choices
made the world a better place for us
i mean except for batman vs superman
which we all agree i’m sure it is
only when you go after your calling
when you cut yourself slack about
having changed your dreams midway and
you
follow your true calling is it that you
make an impact
only then will you create a legacy
think of legacy as your personal
trademark that you leave in those who
cross your paths with
to be honest to create a legacy you
don’t have to change the world
you don’t have to be a public figure you
just have to make
your corner of the world a better place
to live in
the content i create on social media is
to entertain
and i have worked hard to build my
credibility enough
to influence the choices of some of
those who follow me
but that is not legacy
that is not legacy that is not what i’m
leaving behind
i will believe that i’ve left something
behind if i can influence
even one person and make them believe
that it
is never too late and it is never too
late
so do not think that if you’ve worked
towards something your entire life
you’re not
prepared or you’re not going to be good
at something new
because aren’t the best road trips those
which are sudden and impromptu
and honestly when you take that leap of
faith many years from now
you will look down and you will realize
that both your dreams the one you grew
up with
and the one you realized was your true
passion are both equally rewarding
one of my economics friends is working
with the delhi government to reform the
education system
and the same government asked me to
promote their tourism board
one of my friends has written a book on
economic history
and i’m here giving a ted talk so what
i’m trying to tell you is
next time you hear a motivational speech
that talks about
following your dreams or doing what you
love
don’t forget to tell yourself that it is
okay
if what you love changes over time
cut yourself that slack enjoy the
process
and go make your legacy