The Pushback Reflex. Taking Down Your Inner Saboteur.
i could fit
two of me
in the person i used to be seven years
ago
i wasn’t just obese
i was miserable i was angry at myself at
the world
i felt like i’m disappointing my loved
ones by not getting the results i want
and i wanted to lose weight
and i tried
everything
but every time i would lose a few pounds
they came back
and the more i tried the harder it was
it was almost
as if there was this voice
in my subconscious saying
mariola
you’re 212 pounds
and a half
you will always be
212 pounds
and a half
that’s who you are don’t bother
exercising don’t bother dieting you’re
wasting your time
and each time i would start a new
exercise routine or new diet
just when i thought i was on the right
track
pizza
i would
inexplicably craved pizza
gained the weight back
started the cycle again
new year resolution
new accountability bodies
new gym membership
new meal prep containers
same areola
now financially i was okay
but not epic not nearly at the levels
that i wanted to be
and each time i would think about
starting an investment or business
mariola
you will always be working for somebody
else making an average salary don’t
bother starting your business you’re
wasting your time it’s hard
it’s complicated
plus everybody knows that money can’t
buy happiness
right
right
and each time
i would pursue that greater financial
opportunity
fear
doubt
i would procrastinate or talk myself out
of the idea
what is really going on
how do i get off of this treadmill
how do we all break this perpetual cycle
this yoyo effect how do we take down
that inner saboteur how do we break the
old habits and create the life and the
person we really want
you see
95
of our behavior is driven by the
subconscious mind
and the subconscious mind has been
conditioned by our environment from the
very day we were born
it’s been conditioned into a very
specific identity into a very specific
self-image
into a very specific definition of who
we are and what we have
now just to be clear the subconscious
mind is not a bad cop here
it just likes the stability as it feels
it will keep us safe
the neurons in your brain have been
going the same way for a while now
burrowing deep neural pathways
kind of like a river in a canyon
not easy to make a river to go around
the canyon any other way
takes effort
takes energy
so each time we consciously want to
change something
this no no no
and when you are that close to that
promotion to finally committing or
finding this magical relationship
or to being fit
self-sabotage
procrastination
fear
doubt
sometimes even headache or any other
physical pain
or
pizza
and that’s what i call the pushback
reflex
what you need to know is that this is
normal part of the process
this is your subconscious saying
that’s who you are
and the closer you get
to getting that goal
the stronger the pushback
it’s kind of like
like a thermostat
imagine you’re renting a room from the
landlord and the landlord sets up the
temperature the lander likes it at 72
degrees you like it at 68.
luckily for you
you have an air conditioner in the
window of your room
no problem you say i’m just gonna turn
down the temperature on my air
conditioner
but here is what happens
the cooler it gets in the room the more
the thermostat will tell the furnace to
turn up that heat
the thermostat likes it at 72 degrees
remember
so you crank up that air conditioner and
the thermostat says
no no no we’re supposed to be at 72
degrees
i will just keep on turning up the heat
in my furnace
until
well maybe the air conditioner draws so
much power and
and short circuits and blows a fuse
that’s the pushback reflex
the subconscious
always wins
now
we might have the conscious beliefs that
we deserve magical relationships and yes
we don’t want to be fit and we want to
be financially successful
but the subconscious will say
no you’re big and you will always be big
or
you’re skinny and you’ll always be
skinny
or you’re an 80 student and you will
always be an 80 student
or you’re an alcoholic and you will
always be an alcoholic
you will always stay consistent with the
subconscious identity
and he will always listen to what that
subconscious voice says what’s the norm
but who sets up what’s the norm
the landlord
the term is that
that’s why
the subconscious always wins unless
you learn how to manage your
subconscious voice unless you learn how
to change that setting in your
thermostat
when i was changing a setting in my is
that it felt as though i was talking to
two different people
i would visualize and ask what would
that epic version of myself do in
certain situations
i know it sounds funny it felt funny it
felt silly and it felt forced and
especially in a shopping mall
mariola go get that pizza
one slice won’t hurt anyone
stop it that’s the old mariola i’m a new
mariola i want salad
i wasn’t perfect
i relapsed
until
here i am
sitting in a restaurant and my friend
says oh you’re getting your usual the
salad right
and then it hit me
i no longer had to fight with myself to
skip over the pizza options
i didn’t even see them
the salad became my new norm
if you
really really want to change
you must learn how to manage the
subconscious voice so it doesn’t manage
you
here let’s try something stand up if you
can
and those watching on a video you want
to do it too
shake your body a little bit
now put your hands on your hips in the
in your power pose you know what it is
think superman or wonder woman
smile
and close your eyes
take three deep breaths
and now imagine
in front of you there is a wall
the kind of a wall like in a science
fiction movies
it’s blurry but you can see through it
maybe there is a force field
and on the other side of that wall you
see you
but it’s not you that you are now
it’s that new and improved you
that most epic version of you
the most wonderful version you can
possibly imagine
the shape you want to be in
the clothes you wear
imagine that big warm heart you have
that wisdom you embody
now take even a closer look at that epic
version of you on the other side of that
force field
see how is this version standing
how is this version breathing
what is this version thinking
what is this version feeling
now in a moment i’m going to ask you
that in your mind’s eyes you step over
that force field that blurry wall and
when you do
you will step into that epic version of
yourself
ready
three
two
one
walk over that force field and step into
that version of yourself
now with each breath you take imagine
that version of you awakening in you
you are now standing the way this
version of you is standing
you are now breathing the way this
version of you is breathing
you are now feeling the emotions this
version of you is feeling
and you now have the thoughts this
version of you has
now squeeze one of your hands
and imagine and goal in your life that
you would love to see accomplishing
a goal so big that it’s so exciting even
if it’s a little bit frightening
don’t think how you’re gonna get there
don’t think when
just know
that in this version of yourself you
will make it happen
and now think of the people you deeply
care for
and they look in their eyes when they
witness this epic version of you showing
up for them
feel the emotions you will be feeling
when you make them excited
when you make them happy
when you make them proud
enjoy it
okay you can open your eyes now and you
can stop squeezing your hand
you can take a seat
you know what
if you were able to visualize that
version of yourself
it just proves that you have
everything that you need inside of you
to make it happen
you don’t need tons of new skills you
don’t need decades of education
all you need to do is to awaken this
epic version of yourself each time
you’re going through your pushback
reflex
you’ve just begun rewiring your
subconscious mind
and forcing these neurons into the
neural pathways that you want them to go
you’ve just toggled that setting in your
thermostat
you’ve altered the course of your
autopilot
you’ve changed the code of your own
operating
system now it is the consistent practice
of this tool and tools like it that will
help you to manage that subconscious
voice so it no longer manages you
i know it works because i’ve seen it
with my own results i’ve seen it with
the result of my clients many already
very successful they needed to go to
their next level they needed to push
through their push back reflex
it helped 50 year old woman to become
bikinian bodybuilding champion by
overcoming the food cravings
it helped another one to overcome that
fear and anxiety of interviewing and
public speaking
so he could land the career he’d always
wanted
and yet another one to overcome the
fears doubts procrastination
so she could become
that wonderful business owner she had
always wanted to be
once you push
through that pushback reflex
once you learn
how to manage your subconscious voice so
it no longer manages you
that’s when you consistently would get
the results you want for yourself
that’s when you might even tap into
higher levels of spirituality
because that’s
when that voice becomes for you the
voice of
god
spirit
grace
whatever you believe in
see masters and geniuses talk about
channeling that higher power while
creating
that’s when you’re in your flow state
and that’s when the magic happens
you see seven years ago i had this dream
to not to be so obese
to not to be so angry
and disappointed in myself and feeling
i’m disappointing others
five years ago i had this dream to be a
public speaker and share my story so i
could help others
mariola who do you think you are to be a
public speaker
with your accent nobody’s gonna listen
to you
don’t even bother
learn how to manage your subconscious
voice
so it does not
manage
you
thank you very much
you