Etiquette is simply how you choose your actions to be
hello
my name is and i’m an image and
etiquette consultant
i run a finishing school by the name of
subwoofer academy
in hong kong in india thank you very
much for giving me this opportunity to
be able to talk about the subject that
i’m most passionate about which is
etiquette
now there are few myths about etiquette
and i would like to take this
opportunity to
burst those few myths etiquette is
all about humility humility is the
ultimate sophistication
what etiquette is absolutely not is a
rigid code of
how i am able to make you feel in my
company and how we built relationship
that is the true meaning of etiquette
now there are several times a lot of
people think
etiquette is all about
some you know aristocracy refinement
being very well put together yes those
are manners
those are manners and those are social
skills which is
part of etiquette but not the principles
of etiquette
now the principles of etiquette are the
foundations of it
without the principles the manners would
have very little values
so the social skills which are perceived
to be
the only etiquette rules are not the
only etiquette rules
the foundations of etiquette are three
core competent which are
consideration respect and honesty
the most important skills of etiquette
is the way
you make the other person feel in your
company
so if i meet any of you and if i fail to
make you feel very comfortable in my
company that’s an etiquette prooper
what etiquette is not is taking a crap
taking pride
in one’s beauty wealth or professional
credibility
so humility once again is the ultimate
sophistication
you know when i started subwoofer
academy
about seven eight years ago in 2013
um i had absolutely no plan
to start a finishing school it all
happened uh by default
so i was working with my mom and
she was not feeling too well and i lost
her few years ago
so i was basically helping her out and
traveling
on behalf of her she was in the diamond
industry and
i had a few senior people coming over
to ask me for help in educated image
because i was always very passionate
about it and my grandfather happened to
send me to the european finishing school
that was way before i even thought of
starting subwoofer
now i was always passionate about
the importance of being wealthy together
it’s nothing
nothing i never really thought about
starting and finishing school or
whatever
so when it started to um help
the seniors in the damn industry to
be able to you know put some clothes
together
the refinement hosting dinner that’s how
some of their
the strike of some of their idea came to
my mind and that’s how i started
subwoofer academy in 2013
what i didn’t do in 2013 i didn’t teach
okay so i was just a young girl and i
had exceptional
great consultant on board like the
libertarian sevilla merch and john d
rhodes who came on board as consultants
to teach himself
her academy and i used to just run the
company
then i went to london image institution
in 2015 to become
a certified image consultant and i
practiced image consultancy and i talked
social etiquette and then i became
i you know specialized in business
etiquette from every
post institution in america now what
etiquette truly is what i have learned
over the years
is not what people perceive it to be it
is really not about uh
always being proven proper and no your
timing etiquettes
is not the beginning and the end of the
etiquette so
the funny part is when i tell anyone
that i’m an etiquette consultant
god help me because they suddenly you
know
straighten up their posture they
suddenly look after their
shirt button and to see that if they’re
looking all right
etiquette consultants are just normal
human beings
we have flaws as well maybe much more
than everybody else
we are not flawless and what i would
definitely not
encourage to unfeed or perceive that
etiquette or refinement is all about
being flawless
that just doesn’t make you true you know
um
attitude is however the skills of
educate if you if you truly
understand the importance of etiquette
that may help you internalize skills
on etiquette social and business both
that will help you internalize and also
that will sort of help you in your
professional growth
why because it helps you build better
relationship etiquette is nothing but
the relationship building skills that
you master
the way you make other person feel your
company
so what is the good return on investment
when you learn it
uh interview skills people will be able
to put more
trust in you more faith in you um
people be people will you will be more
likable
you will be able to get more contract
better relationship with subordinates
and so on and so forth not only it will
help you
build better success professionally but
it will also help you build better
relationship
socially the roots of etiquette the
first rule
is not being intimidating so what
again there is a perception oh she’s a
etiquette consultant so
it’s nomination all of that um
that’s an etiquette football that goes
against dedicated so if
your first job is to be well put
together yes that’s the choice
but the foundation of etiquette is
if people feel very comfortable around
you if you’re approachable
without losing the refinement of the
authority
so that is really etiquette you know
etiquette also helps you in building
your personal branding so there are four
skills
that’s crucial for your personal
branding
that’s credibility how good you are at
your job
likeability if
people like you to work with you
efficiency that is if you’re efficient
and you uh you’re able to work
efficiently with the team
and trustworthiness now the thing is if
you have credibility
and likability factor with you
my apologies but if you if you have
credibility and
um efficiency factor with you the
trustworthiness and the likability comes
naturally
so etiquette is very simple rule of
thumb
better relationship a lot of people
ask me the first thing is about dining
etiquette oh my god i’m terrible at
timing it i don’t know how to hold a
focus
you know etiquette is not all about
dining etiquette your
credibility social or professional does
not
begin or end at your dining etiquette
skills it’s again
a skill that you learn it’s a part of
etiquette
it’s not all about educate okay we will
forgive you
if you don’t know how to how to have
great finesse in your dining table
that’s a skill that can be taught but
principles of etiquette
are crucial values can it be taught you
have to have them
ethics trustworthiness professionalism
those are the principles of etiquette
and that’s what should be the main focus
rather than only the refinement of the
social skills because that can easily be
taught
by any consultant now um there are
several
etiquette you know tips that i can give
you
if you’re a young professional number
one is being on time if you are
on time that shows that you respect not
only your
time but you also respect others time
and then when that happen everybody else
are
able to put more faith in you you become
trustworthy yeah the second part is to
fight superior authority
how to do that is when if you are
a certain if you are in a certain
designation in your company or
if you are if you are a student and if
you’re excelling in your
academics not to take pride in it
or just fighting superior authority
in general since approachability back
takes very very important
and that is one of the crucial part of
etiquette not many people talk about
is fighting um superior you know
superior or superior behavior
another part of etiquette i would say be
well dressed
not because you know not because of any
other reason but you know when you are
just well put together
not only you look more organized but
also
it looks like you you you respect the
other person
you’re paying attention and you are
respecting the other person who’s
meeting with you or
people who are you working with or
whatever so when you are when you are
just
well dressed we trap we respect people
who are more well dressed so it’s
something that you may want to consider
at a young age
now etiquette is something that should
be internalized
in your private life as much as your
professional life what you cannot have
a two image you can’t have a public
image which is impeccable you find very
well turned out and well put together
and have a private image which is
probably contrary
uh i’m not saying you have to wear a
three-piece suit and a ball gown in your
living room
but there’s certain um uniformity
there’s certain similarities should be
there in your public
image and your private image especially
when it comes to
mannerisms so for example magic words
you know simple things like kids learn
magic words thank you please i’m sorry
hi hello greetings all these things
produce
a just a simple hello a good greeting
produce a good hormone called oxytocin
it’s a hormone of trust
and when you produce oxytocin you know
when the mother is in labor
and the mother is giving birth to a
child
the mother and the child both produce
oxytocin and that’s why they trust
the burned forms when the greeting when
you’re meeting someone for the first
time and when the greeting is impeccable
and
yours you smile when you treat you
maintaining the eye contact
you if you’re allowed to shake hands in
the near future
a good handshake or if not just a
sincere greeting with your
arm you know touching your heart and
with an art hello
with your full name that produces a
small
amount of oxytocin which works on your
favor
that’s why first impression is crucial
the greetings in first impression
is crucial so these are the simple rule
of etiquette etiquette is not all about
you have to go to you know you have to
be from a certain background a certain
hierarchy of society is a
wealth none of that you know etiquette
is very simply
how you choose your actions today
there are several very simple people i
met
personally in my life that i look up to
and they came from the most humble
background but they have this beautiful
charisma
and this beautiful behavior of of
respecting people in such a
such an immaculate way that you want to
be
in their company simply because we have
this beautiful charisma
to to make you feel great that is it
if you’re able to make someone feel
fabulous in your company and feel very
warm
in your company that is educated if you
take pride in your wealth your beauty
your prosperity your academic uh
so on and so forth that is not etiquette
that is in fact etiquette
so etiquette is very simply the way you
make the other person
feel you know when emily post
the american teacher where i studied in
fact i studied business etiquette
in every host institution of america
emily moore said one thing when two
people
meet and their behavior affect one
another
you have etiquette and that is a simple
rule of thumb it doesn’t matter
if you are not paying a lot of attention
to your dressing
it would be good if you if you know the
value of dressing
it would be good if you punish your
social skills
and have a great body language or
able to maintain a certain decorum in
your dining table
it’s a choice you make there’s no
hardened pastry
nobody could put a gun in your head and
say well you have to be civilized
civility is a choice you know and that’s
what i tell
all my students all my clients
civility is a choice it’s not necessary
that you have to go to a finishing
school to learn etiquette
it’s not necessary you have to have an
etiquette teacher
all the time 24 7 at your pecking hall
to teach you etiquette
none of that civility is a choice you
can start to learn
etiquette by a simple
practice of magic words by a simple
practice of
having a conversation with your family
members by
simple practice of choosing to have your
meal in a dining table
rather than a lot of people like to do
it in their bed you know
by choosing to make you wake up in the
morning and to make your own bed rather
than asking you stop to do it
or you know
put up with nice clothes in the morning
every morning
even if you’re working from home these
are the choices you make
with etiquette comes efficiency
etiquette is also
how what we teach we teach efficiency we
also teach how to be well put together
and the importance of
it now if you understand the importance
of etiquette and why it will help you
excel
in your social and your professional
life
it is the easiest way to internalize it
etiquette is not like stencils you know
good manners is a lifestyle choice it
doesn’t
begin or end in one subject it’s none of
that
it is a choice that you make throughout
in your professional and your social
life
thank you very much once again for this
platform and i’m looking forward
to connecting you all