Failure is a Friend
when i was a little girl
i always thought that i would grow up to
be a princess then
it was a teacher and then a doctor as i
grew up
i noticed that much of it became
unrealistic that the world that once
rolled around me
had now chosen someone else in its
spotlight
in that moment this fantasy that i had
would be just that
what a shame i thought to myself last
summer
i successfully applied to an ai cap
essentially the stem base camp
created exposure to the successes and
failures of ai
as well as the ethical implications
following there was an opportunity to
collab
with fellow mentors and campers on a
project that was pertinent to that time
being that it was two weeks and all
online i thought to myself
wow this was not only going to be a fun
opportunity
an interesting opportunity but it would
also be awfully relaxing
specifically this was my first national
experience
and so i knew that i was going to meet
all of these young women
and older women who would share their
experiences but i also
thought that we would share these
experiences interests lifestyles and
hobbies
we were just one in the same i thought
to myself
but i was wrong on the first day
i admired the selected young woman from
north america at service level
we exchanged socials and we got to know
each other in one way or another
then there were guest speakers notably
women who had joined us from all across
canada to share their story their story
of how they got to where they are today
their story
of the moments of weaknesses failures
and obstacles they had to overcome to
get to where they are
i always knew people who were in high
places had to do their fair share of
hard work
but the extent of it was not only
unrealistic
but unimaginable and their story
it spoke to me although their story
is not mine to share with the stage i
have today i would like to share mine
specifically i would like to talk about
an almost forbidden effort
in today’s society f a
i l u r
feeling now take a moment
what is failure to you is it an action
a sensation a calling or just another
word in the dictionary
is it a story of one or of all
is it intentional or is it purposeful
but most importantly is it worth it and
does it define you
failure is generally described as a lack
of or absence of success
is illuminated as a simplistic opposite
of success like the opposite of
up is down or right is left this broad
ambiguous definition guides us in
defining and characterizing our values
and our failures which in return affects
our ability
to enjoy and celebrate the minor
successes we experience
along the way today i hope to change
that
whether or not we like to admit it
failure is a story that defines us
although not willingly we subconsciously
take these moments
and use them as a supportive pillars
that build and support us as we go to
the subsequent plot of our stories
take riding a bike for example i’m
confident that almost all of you in the
audience today have at one point
try to ride a bike and out of those i’m
equally assured
that you have either fallen stumbled or
simply lost your balance this goes to
show that while failures are shared
they provide us with the opportunity to
get back up
improve and to avoid the same mistake
while we failed and stumbled along the
way
we were able to get back up persevere
and practice
until we got it right and that that my
friends
is what it means to fail successfully
now back to me and my story as the first
week of the camp proceeded
i found myself becoming increasingly
confused
i figured that because i had taken the
prerequisites like the maths and the
sciences of this
this would be a breeze the tables had
turned however because the more i
thought i knew
the increasingly confused i became and i
thought that i knew
everything there was to know and that
marked my first failure a lack of
self-awareness
following that moment i found myself
becoming increasingly
uncomfortable and antsy i felt like i
was going to be left behind because i
didn’t have
the confidence in my abilities and my
capabilities
however not too long after i received a
text
from one of my newer friends from that
time she said
and i quote i am so confused
and although i shouldn’t have i sparked
a smile and i immediately felt reassured
because everything that was going
downhill now started to reverse
because now i had a friend right there
beside me fighting the fight with me
along that smile i had plenty of time to
feel guilty about it later
the days that followed were harder and
they were also
better because now i wasn’t all alone
the second week
we split up into our groups and we
worked on our projects and our modules
not only did i not know anyone in my
group
but the material being covered was
incomprehensible to me at least
i think i had this predisposition that
just because i didn’t understand
something
nobody in my group would either and so
there was no point in trying
no point in reaching out for help and
there was no point in doing anything
altogether
and this this marked my second failure
a lack of persistence and perseverance
now i see with great happiness that i
was wrong not only did i lack
self-awareness again
but i brutally and wrongfully judged my
surroundings
this added with my inability to
persevere
did not serve me well i found my
interests my enthusiasm and overall
engagement in discount plummeting
so i was basically that kid in the
corner of math class who always falls
asleep
the days i proceeded my group and i we
started bonding
not face time and talking about our
lives bonding but we each had a mutual
understanding of
how each of us felt about the material
being covered in the project
and whether or not i would have liked to
admit it then i would not have expected
us to come as far along
as we did not only did we finish in time
but with adequate evidence and data we
were
able to formulate multiple presentations
to diverse audiences
and we each let the other shine where
they could where they were stronger
and where we were all weak we worked
together to accomplish that goal
and this should goes to show that while
you may be failing individually
there’s always opportunity and there’s
always people around you
your friends peers or complete strangers
who are there to support you
and help you succeed along the way
now if i had more time i would have
continued sharing the numerous
failures i experienced in this camp
alone however
my greatest takeaway from this camp was
that failure
is it two kinds the first is a failing
yourself
in my case it was a lack of
self-awareness where i didn’t trust my
past knowledge and i didn’t have
confidence in my abilities
to retain and understand the new
knowledge we’re going to learn
however the second is it feeling your
environment
again in my case it was a lack of
persistence and perseverance
and this was as a result of me not
trusting and confiding in my
peers and not believing that they would
truly be there to support me along the
way
we have judgments and biases on the
daily about the people who surround us
about why their lives are the way or
they are but we fail to understand
why this is the cause we tend to blame
external factors
like i filled my test because my teacher
did this
however sometimes we are the root cause
we fail to acknowledge that not
everybody is the same that the person
you sit next to in english class
or the call you work with at your place
of employment
may be going through their own problems
at their own times
but most importantly at their own
extremities
that said we’re all humans and we hear
this so many times
but we fail to understand what it truly
means and acknowledge
that the person who’s next to us may
also be going through the same thing
we’re going through maybe even in the
same boat
this goes to show that while we may be
failing individually or even
collectively there’s always room for
improvement even though your best
is lower than average or society tells
you that you’re far from perfect in the
end
it doesn’t matter because your failures
are yours
your successes are yours but mine
are mine yours are defined by your
standards
your experiences and your own actions
however mine
and although i may be going through the
same thing mine
are defined by how i approached it how i
recognize it
but most importantly how i bounce back
from it
that said not all failures are created
equal
but the people who experience them are
so as members of this society
and this community i ask that you reach
out to the people around you
when you say when you see them being
down
and ask them hey what’s up lent them a
hand
because failure is just another friend
and it’s time
we embraced
you