Breaking the Bubble of Fear
Transcriber: Petra Molnárová
Reviewer: Maria Pericleous
Imagine yourself inside a small bubble.
Feels claustrophobic, doesn’t it?
Now, imagine it is a bubble
of fear, greed or guilt.
Doesn’t that make it even worse?
Now, if I were to tell you that this
isn’t an imagination, but the reality,
how would you feel?
We don’t realize it, but we do live
inside some of these bubbles
and they continuously influence
the way we act,
our decisions, and eventually our lives.
When you say, ″it’s not my thing″,
that’s your comfort zone bubble, holding
you back from trying something new,
limiting you.
And that’s just one example.
But today, I want to pick on the bubble
that I think is the most overpowering
and damaging to our mental
and physical well-being.
Hi, my name is Vani Garcha,
and I believe that we need to break out
of the bubble of fear.
OK, raise your hand if you have ever said,
″I can’t do that″ before even trying.
As I thought, almost everyone has.
This is the bubble of fear.
I like to visualize it as a dull purple
bubble, like the avatar of fear
in Inside Out, that very insightful
and cute Disney movie.
Fear surrounds us and taints
practically every decision.
But fear isn’t always negative.
I wouldn’t want anyone here
to become a delinquent
because they no longer fear the law.
Fear keeps you out of dark alleys at night
and reminds you that riding
your bike on an icy day
might not be the wisest choice.
So then, what makes fear detrimental?
In life, everyone strives to be happy.
It’s the reason why we spend
the first 25 years of our life learning,
and the next 25 applying the knowledge
to build a good life and society.
But when fear drives every decision,
then instead of creating happiness,
we end up creating a stressful
environment around us.
Like the stress that comes from the fear
of failure or not fitting in.
OK, here’s another example for you.
Raise your hand if you enjoy singing,
or dancing, or just vibing
to your favourite music.
Great, so do I.
Now, keep your hand up,
if you would ever sing
in front of your friends
or just some random strangers.
Yeah, I’m with the crowd
that put their hands down.
I love singing, but because I’m fearful
of the reaction and thoughts
of the audience, I stop myself
from doing what I enjoy.
Here’s another experience
I’ve had on many occasions.
Once I was attending a speech
and debate club meeting,
and we were reading out our speeches
on the topic of banning video games.
As I was waiting for my turn to speak,
my heart was pounding more every second,
and I thought everyone
could hear it through the screen.
My ears were red and I was burning up.
I had put in a lot of time,
thought and effort,
so I was ready to deliver it,
and the environment was encouraging.
But - and even though I knew
it wasn’t graded - I almost felt sick.
Finally, it was my turn to go
and I spoke way too fast and I stumbled.
But when I finished, all I got
was praise and encouragement.
I realized that I had been dreading
and fearing my turn for no reason,
and that if I had just let go
of the fear of failure,
or the fear of being judged,
I would have had
a much more enjoyable experience.
Now, let’s take a story
from one of my own friends.
For the sake of their privacy,
let’s call her Bella.
Bella was scared to talk
to one of her friends
to sort out an issue between them.
She feared that if she confronted
her friend, the situation would worsen.
Because of that fear,
she worried about it for weeks,
and couldn’t focus on her schoolwork.
Her grades slowly began to fall
because her mind was preoccupied.
It actually started to impact her health,
and her parents started to worry as well.
So finally, she heeded to some advice
and confronted her friend.
And guess what?
It turned out that her friend
had been waiting for them to talk,
and that she, too,
was also too scared to confront Bella.
All those weeks of anxiety
for herself and her parents
could have been avoided.
This is just another illustration
of the negative impact of fear.
These all may seem
like harmless situations,
but all of these seemingly benign straws
build up and break the camel’s back.
They impact our physical, mental
and emotional health.
Don’t believe me?
The University of Minnesota says
that fear weakens our immune system,
and can cause many diseases,
such as a peripheral vascular disease.
Fear prepares us to react to danger.
Once we sense potential danger,
our body releases hormones
that slow or shut down functions
that aren’t needed for survival,
like our digestion,
and sharpens functions
that could help us survive,
like our eyesight.
The flow of hormones
increase to an area of the brain
called the amygdala
to help us focus
on the clear and present danger.
If these responses occur on a daily basis,
our body’s way of maintaining
a healthy internal environment,
or homeostasis, stops functioning.
So not only does fear affect
you emotionally and mentally,
it actually manifests
as physical disease over time.
Fear also impacts what you believe
to be pleasurable
and what you eventually do in life.
At any age, especially when we’re younger,
what we experience
influences our decisions.
If anyone’s first experience
is filled with fear and doesn’t go well,
they won’t want to do it again.
I was so scared the first time
I read my speech
that if I hadn’t been asked to present it
again, I might have never done it.
And then I would be with a group of people
who don’t want public speaking
to be a part of their job.
By the way,
while we’re still on that topic,
you might find it interesting
that according to the National
Social Anxiety Center,
73 percent of people in our country
fear public speaking
more than they fear death.
Now, the real question is,
how do we manage fear so we only let it
impact us in positive ways?
And I’d like to offer some ideas.
It won’t make someone
as fearless as Superman,
but if you practice this enough,
our fears won’t stop us
from experiencing simple joys
and contributing to life overall.
Remember that dull purple bubble
that surrounds us
when we need to speak
in front of our class?
Look at that bubble.
What can we use to break it?
Here’s a three-part solution that can make
fear slowly loosen its grip on you.
Number one, when you come to a situation
that makes your heart race,
take a moment to think
about why it’s racing.
Pause and take a deep breath
and rationalize.
Our brains have evolved
to help us make choices
that keep us safe and comfortable.
Therefore, we are programmed to believe
that fear is essential to keep us safe
in our established comfort zones.
In the instance of speaking,
why would your heart race?
Because you might mess up,
or because everyone is looking you?
Or because the speaker
before you was stellar?
Or the one after you
seems a lot more prepared?
Are these rational reasons for saying
that public speaking is not my thing?
And you come to the conclusion
that they aren’t.
These reasons for never trying something
that is out of our comfort zone
that could be good for us
originate in our pre-programmed mind.
FEAR as an acronym stands
for Fake Evidence Appearing Real.
Now, once you reason your fear out,
comes step number two.
Break the bubble with the tool of courage.
So, replace FEAR - Fake Evidence Appearing
Real with faith in your courage.
Courage is our innate strength to venture,
persevere and withstand danger.
Aristotle knew this.
2500 years ago, he said,
″courage is the mother of all virtues″.
When we face problems with courage,
we feel better in the end.
After some practice,
the experience becomes enjoyable.
And if you enjoy something,
you want to do it again and again,
and slowly, your fear of public speaking
or dancing or singing will vanish.
Actually, your courage
will overpower your fear.
There’s a purpose that fear
serves, to protect us,
but the walls of self-protection can also
become the walls of self-imprisonment.
And we need to be cautious
and acutely aware of that.
If you don’t believe me,
think about that example
I was telling you before.
I was scared to talk at a meeting
with at most six people,
and I didn’t have my camera on.
Because I rationalized that this fear
should not stop me,
I actually tried out for TEDx.
And here I am, talking to so many of you
and actually enjoying it.
Now, having conquered fear
with reason and courage,
the third step is to spread the word.
I want you to think about what
a positive impact this could have on you
and your family, when you share instances
of your courage winning over your fear.
Sharing something we’ve learned
with others not only reinforces it for us,
but also influences others.
For kids, think about your parents.
When you’re stressed or worried,
it affects your parents.
They stay up all night
thinking about what could be wrong,
and what they can do to help.
And parents, your kids might not admit it,
but they look up to you.
When you complain about having to speak
in front of a crowd,
or you’re nervous
for your next public speaking event,
it leaves an imprint on your child’s mind.
So, if your every action
is laced with courage,
your children will try to incorporate
that in their lives, too.
Because if my mom or dad
can do it, why can’t I?
I’ve seen this before in my own life.
I have friends who have never
even tried public speaking,
but they already hate it
because someone they know,
maybe in their own family,
have complained about it.
English is my mom’s third language,
but she still goes up
in front of a full auditorium of people
and talks about her work.
It’s not that she isn’t nervous,
but even with all that fear
and nervousness,
she steps on the stage
with courage and confidence.
And whenever I see her or my dad
up there, I believe that I can, too.
It’s partly the reason why I’m here today.
Accepting our own vulnerabilities
brings unmatched power
and authenticity.
Courage and reason
aren’t just solutions for fear.
Try applying these
to all of our limitations,
our bubble of greed, guilt and more.
The solution is simple
and effective, and there is no cost.
Courage is your lifelong friend
that will never do you wrong
as long as you have
good reason to go with it.
Now, once again, imagine yourself
inside the bubble of fear,
but this time, you have your tools
of reason and courage to break free.
Remember that you can be and do anything
as long as you recognize,
respect and believe in the power
of courage and reason.
Enjoy your freedom.
Thank you.