Embracing Fear
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
i remember the first time i ever read
the divergent trilogy
veronica roth created this utopian
society where every person was supposed
to fit into one of five factions
which each featured very different ways
of life these factions were originally
formed based on what people felt
were the most important values there was
abnegation he buyed selflessness
the amity who valued peace the candor
who vied honesty
the dauntless who valued bravery and
courage as well as the erudite who
valued knowledge
and of course i was completely obsessed
with trying to figure out what faction i
would choose if i was in the book
i knew i wasn’t the most selfless person
and i don’t think peace is the most
important thing
i also know that i don’t think knowledge
holds all the answers to life’s
questions
i always want to be dauntless because i
want to be seemingly fearless
just like the main character triss was i
wanted people to look at me and know
that i could take care of myself
but if i’m being completely truthful i
know would be candor
because as much as i wish i could be
dauntless i know that i love being
blatantly honest
more than i think i would enjoy jumping
on and off of moving trains
despite this i kept coming back to the
dallas’s teachings over the candors
was their values of bravery and courage
really the most important thing
in their manifesto they stated we
believe in freedom from fear
in denying for the power to influence
our decisions
we believe in ordinary acts of bravery
and the courage that drives one person
to stand up for another
we believe in acknowledging fear and the
extent to which it rules us we do not
believe in living comfortable lives
and i fell in love with the idea that if
i was brave i could become
fearless but is that really how it works
so far i’ve used both words bravery and
courage
which most of us use synonymously but i
felt in order to truly understand the
dauntless lifestyle it was important to
know these words exact definitions
merriam-webster dictionary defines brave
as having or showing
mental or moral strength to face danger
fear and difficulty
it is facing your fears it defines
courage as having mental or moral
strength or venture
to persevere and withstand against
danger fear difficulty
it is the ability to do something that
consciously frightens you
the common ground between these two
words is their relationship with fear
fear has to exist for bravery and
courage to happen
but the differences between them are
huge bravery is a split second decision
it is acting without thinking or because
of external pressure or as courage
requires heart
aristotle a famous greek philosopher
believed that courage is a noble virtue
he believed that courageous people are
fearful and
bold that they act in the right time in
the right manner
and with the right motivations and while
both are important
today i’ll be placing a specific focus
on courage
because in order to embrace your fears
there has to be a level of consciousness
in the dauntless manifesto we are
reminded to acknowledge our fears and
the extent to which they rule us
fear in broad terms just means that we
have something to lose
so when we examine the extent to which
it controls us it actually makes more
sense to let it motivate us
because if you’re scared enough to lose
something you should care enough about
to fight for it
ask anyone they will tell you that
nothing worthwhile in life comes easy
in fact one of the hardest things that
i’ve ever had to do
has been my training and participation
in kettlebell marathon
it is something that consistently forces
me outside of my comfort zone
while pushing me to my absolute limit
the event that i participate in is a
half snatch half marathon
which means that for 30 minutes i do as
many half snatches as i can
without setting my bell down when i
first started my training i never
thought to the extent that i could learn
from it
but the most important thing i’ve
discovered is that while it is
physically tiring
it is mentally exhausting without the
right headspace motivations and
behaviors
there’s no way that i’ll finish my set
so while it is a physical event
the outcome is mostly mental and i’m
proud to say that for almost the three
years i’ve been doing this
that i’ve not only grown to my physical
strength but more so mentally
looking back on my international
competition performances in spain
and poland i remember that before it
even started i was super nervous about
what was to come
as i stood in the platform my hands were
cold my breath was shaky
and my heart pounded in my chest in
poland i haven’t found myself doubting
if i was mentally prepared enough for
what was to come
but whenever i started a spiral before
my set i had to remind myself
but my fear was real but my
justification for it was not
there is no real danger it was just
another workout
by doing this i was denying my fear the
power to influence my decisions
and my actions i did this by changing
the way i perceived it
by adjusting how i view my fear in small
situations like my workouts
i’ve been able to grow my courage to
larger aspects of my life
but don’t get me wrong growing courage
is not a simple task
but the first step is to start small the
second step
is to remember where you started usually
in my workouts i get pretty frustrated
because i’m not always where i think i
should be but really i’ve just lost
perspective
the first time i ever did a half
marathon i got 241 reps
and i completely shredded my hands but
in my pr from last
july i got 450 reps and my hands were
tear free
it’s all about acknowledging the growth
and the progress that you’ve made
the third and final step is to remember
that it’s okay to be scared
we all have patterns to unlearn new
behaviors to embody and wounds to heal
we all have to remember that fear
shouldn’t shut us down it should wake us
up fear is what makes our heart beat
keeps our eyes open
and reminds us to keep pushing forward
feeling the pain
the fear the happiness and sadness is
what reminds us that we’re alive
and as mentioned in divergent becoming
fearless is actually not the point
that’s impossible it’s learning how to
embrace your fears
and how to be free from them courage is
so important in this process
because without it we cannot break the
negative bond that fear has on us
having courage can be worth everything
it can be the difference between life
and death or more importantly life and
living
franklin roosevelt once famously said
that the only thing we have to fear
is fear itself but i disagree with this
by saying that he is implying it is
unnecessary to be afraid of anything
besides fear
but we have to remember that fear isn’t
bad
fear is what promotes growth provides
motivation and creates adventure
the absence of fear gives us nothing we
have to remember that we are not made up
of our fear
we are cells building tissues and
muscles getting stronger
we are not our limitations but we are
how we choose to push past them
furthermore we are not who we didn’t get
to be
we are everything that we fought to
become
which is why i want to let my fear wash
over me and wake me up
i want it to motivate me and to push me
to my absolute breaking point
and then just a little bit further
because i want to look back and know
that having courage
took everything i had but that has given
me everything i have now
in the divergent trilogy tris had to
learn the hard way
that the values of selflessness kindness
honesty
bravery courage and intelligence were
not independent from each other
the faction system broke down because of
this for example it forced people to
believe that
only the dauntless could be courageous
which is a ridiculous notion
because nothing in life can be done
without courage
there’s so many ways to have it in this
world too sometimes it’s laying down
your life for something bigger than you
other times it’s giving up everything
you’ve ever known or everyone you’ve
ever loved
for the sake of something greater but
usually it’s not
most of the time in fact having courage
is nothing more
than gritting your teeth through the
pain and the work and the slow walk
toward a better life
but if we really think about it isn’t
life all about collecting the scars and
the bruises
to prove that we showed up and that we
fought against our fear
that’s why the calluses on my hands are
so important to me
they remind me of every repetition i’m
getting stronger
especially with the heavy ones or the
ones where i feel like quitting or
giving up but continue to keep pushing
forward
so when we walk out of here let’s
remember that today still has the
potential to be the first day
the first step towards a better life if
we let it be
because we are all one choice away from
a completely different life
and i say it’s about time we make that
choice with intent to embrace our fears
in order to find freedom from them
because i guarantee that if we all do it
afraid
we like the dauntless will not be living
comfortable lives
thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
you