When Should you Choose to Ignore your Gut
[Music]
the reason why i’m here today
is not because i’m the most incredible
speaker you’ve ever seen
it’s not because i have any better ideas
than anyone
in this room the reason why i’m here
today
is because of a dinner i had with my
parents four years ago
and for that let me take you back to
october of 2017.
i was 17 years old a senior in high
school
and just like most of us at that age i
was asked
what i wanted to do after my graduation
by probably every relative
i could possibly think of pretty
nerve-wracking already right
then this idea of going to the united
states to study
and play collegiate tennis came up in my
mind
i got super excited until i realized
that
i would probably have to leave my home
country belgium
and say goodbye to my parents for almost
4 years
this style by itself is pretty scary now
imagine suggesting it to your parents
i had this idea for a couple of days
maybe even weeks
and one night i came home from school
and i thought to myself
this is the night i’m gonna tell them
so i went downstairs for dinner sat down
and got extremely nervous even though my
parents
are the most supportive ones out there
it had never been that hard to speak up
i could feel my heart beating out of my
chest
and i could feel my throat narrow
i knew that all i could do was say that
first word
after 10 long minutes of conquering the
awkward feeling in my stomach
i finally decided to speak up and i know
for a fact that
without speaking up and overcoming that
feeling
i wouldn’t be standing here today too
often
we don’t say that first word and instead
we let that feeling right before make a
decision
hold us back so let’s dive into that
feeling a little bit more
the feeling i’m talking about is that
nervous but also exciting feeling
that you get right before committing to
something you feel drawn to
but you’re also pretty scared of so let
me ask you these two questions
who has ever not applied for a job
because they thought they weren’t
qualified for it
and who has ever postponed or canceled
the first date
well if you raise your hand after the
second question you might have just gone
out with your friends instead
however in both situations there’s a big
chance that the same feeling i had at
the dinner table
four years ago came between you and the
opportunity
i’ve tried to describe that feeling so
many times before
and somehow never was able to put a name
to it
that’s why i started calling it that
nameless feeling
and as i’m talking about this you might
notice that this feeling
is double-sided on the one side
we have our gut our true self that draws
us in a certain direction
but on the other side we have our
rational self
that tells us to run away as far as
humanly possible
and to be honest the last time at the
name was feeling
was right there right before i was
walking up on the stage
now for the remainder of this talk i
challenge you to visualize a feeling
for something you haven’t you have going
on in your life right now
or maybe in the near future
when you go home today and you try to
explain this feeling
to a friend or a family member they
might just reply by saying
well isn’t that just a leap of faith
the reason why i don’t want to call you
the leap of faith is because the leap
is often only a small step
and the leap of faith is definitely no
blind fate
so you might wonder well
what happens if it doesn’t turn out well
and what is that small step two years
ago
i was talking with a roommate of mine
about the fact that i was still
struggling
with the divorce of my parents and on
top of that
i was dealing with some injuries him
being a good roommate and friend of mine
suggested that i’d go see a sports
psychologist
and you think that seeing a sports
psychologist and setting up an
appointment
would be easy right well so did i
until i sat down before my computer
typed out the email
and all i had to do was click send
again that nameless feeling came up and
i went back and forth to my computer
at least four or five times it never
became easier
two days later i decided to take that
small step
and i can say that this has been one of
the most influential and powerful steps
i’ve ever taken
when you look at it this way you realize
that it’s often a leap of faith
but just a small step now recognizing
that feeling is crucial but knowing when
and how to take that small step might be
more intimidating
i think most of us would agree if i said
that decisions
small or big are important
wayne dyer once said our lives
are the sum of the total decisions we’ve
made
so knowing how quickly one decision
flows into the next one
and add up it’s crucial to make sure
that we
that they add up to something good for
us
from a very young age people ask us what
we want to become
and do with our lives and a couple of
years later
they also start adding the question of
why
why do we do what we do and to answer
both of these questions
i challenge you to seek that nameless
feeling and use it as a guide
that feeling is there for a reason you
simply cannot fake it
and here’s why in a study conducted by
bark and charbon
they found that most of our everyday
thinking feeling
and decision making happen unconsciously
they argue that the the evaluations
we’ve made in the past
guide our actions in the in the present
unconsciously
now this is something really good
because when we know
that these automatic processes also
known as our gut
they’ll probably take care of things for
us
using that let’s go back to using that
feeling nameless feeling
as a guide because this might be easier
said than done
especially when we want to make that
small step
we often feel what might happen next
we feel what might happen next because
the biology of fear
is there to protect us from uncertainty
because this
might lead us to risking our lives
however
when we know that taking that small step
won’t put us in danger
let’s start using it as a guide and
develop ourselves in ways
we didn’t even know were possible
you might wonder well what happens
if you overcome that nameless feeling
you take that small step
and it doesn’t go your way
two weeks ago i was asked the same
question by a mentor of mine
i was sitting in his office and he said
mano
when was the last time you overcame that
nameless feeling
took that small step and it didn’t go
your way
and i sat there for a couple of minutes
and i couldn’t think of a single time it
didn’t turn out well
and when i thought about it more i
realized of course
there have been times when things didn’t
go my way
but somehow i didn’t experience it as
something negative
the reason for this is because you can
never regret
doing something and committing to
something you do with the attention
to develop yourself
theodore roosevelt says it well in his
life philosophy
titled the man in the arena
here he says and who at the worst
if he fails at least fails while daring
greatly
thinking back of the times i felt that
nameless feeling
i knew that my parents would be
supportive i knew that my sports
psychologist
would book an appointment with me but
still
that nameless feeling came between me
and the opportunity
throughout my young life i realized that
this nameless feeling
is one of the most natural and powerful
ways
to stay true to ourselves that’s why
i would like to leave you with this
challenge for today
tomorrow and the days after that
i challenge you to reach out to the
person you’ve always wanted to talk to
i challenge you to apply for those
programs you thought you weren’t
qualified for
and more importantly i challenge you to
seek that nameless feeling
use it as a guide and develop yourselves
in ways
you didn’t even know were possible thank
you
[Applause]
you