Find Your Happiness
[Applause]
emotions
what could be more unpredictable than
emotions you have a friend who is
nice to you now there’s just a moment
later
he’s acting weird and you’ll be
wondering do you actually know this
person
right so today let us talk about you
me us emotions let me ask you one simple
question
what is that one reason that you’re all
here today
yeah what is that one reason that you’re
all here today yeah
it is because you’re all alive you’re
breathing
you’re breathing you made it today
there are so many who have not made it
today you’re able to
do your stuff on your own you’re
breathing you can have things on your
own
is it not something to be grateful about
is it not something to be happy about
yes but have you ever thought this has a
way of happiness
because we always look for the big
picture we always want to see the big
picture
it’s good but don’t we know that even
the big picture
is made out of small pixels yes do you
agree with that
even the biggest building is made of a
small brick
do you agree on that so why not we take
time to acknowledge those small things
and be happy all right so
let me move on another question i like
to ask a lot of questions that’s my
profession you see
okay so how difficult is it to smile
can you tell me because i see a lot of
young
small children i have my nephew who is
one and a half years old
and every time i look at him he’ll be
like
as if he owes a crowd for thousands of
dollars to the world
okay our smiles have been eradicated by
smileys
so i ask you one question how difficult
is it
for someone to smile let’s try let’s try
simple right every smiling is it so
difficult
why is it so hard then why is it that we
are not using it so much
why is it that everyone is always angry
so that’s what we want to know now what
is that that makes us happy
sorry to put this you know why we i had
a good photo in
first slide and have a depressing one i
believe that a person
encounters two kinds of death one death
is a biological one that heaven has to
go through
we die natural or unnatural dead either
we die by aging
or we die out of accident that is fine
there is another death which is more
dreadful that is the death
that comes to us when we are alive that
is that
when which comes to us when we are not
able to feel things
someone tells a good joke but you’re not
able to smile
someone is sharing some pain with you
but you’re not able to feel it
that’s called empathy effort you’re not
able to feel
the surroundings you’re not able to be
in that moment
and i’ll tell you friends that is the
most painful death
one can have so while i was
going through browsing through internet
i came across a very beautiful story
the story is about a native american
tribe
we call them the right indians a
chieftain of the tribe
teaches a young boy about life so he
calls the boy
and tells him i would like to tell you
something
so he tells there are two wolves inside
me
that are constantly fighting they are
always in a terrible fight
there is one wolf which is white which
is always kind
humble always having positive thoughts
always having positive emotions and
there is another the dark evil wolf
who is always angry who is always
negative
so he asked the boy which wolf do you
think will win
so boy says i don’t know so the
chief the wise man says the wolf to
which you
feed more will win so these are like
your emotions the positive
the white wolf is your positive emotions
the dark wolf is your negative emotions
for the emotions which you pay more
attention will
win you cannot you know you cannot
survive without negatives
because if you want to understand what
happiness is you have to go through
pains
but for which one are you going to pay
more attention that is the question
so in indian mythology we have yugas all
of us know about we have four yugas
that means the ages of the earth so our
yuga
starts from satya yuga and each yuga has
its own battles
there were many big great wars fought in
every yuga so starting with satya yuga
there was
battle between two worlds that they were
locker and asura loka
there was fight between the good and bad
that was during satya yuga
then came the yoga where was where there
was a battle between two kingdoms
the rama raja and the ravana raja good
and the bad
then came the dwaparuga where there was
battle
between two families the pandavas and
kauravas
now we are in kalyuga it is also rightly
called as the age of confusion
because we are confused in everything so
in sugar the battle has come inside us
within us
some students can’t decide for which
band which stop i should wear
right there’s an angel sitting in this
corner this shoulder and
demons sitting in this corner they’ll be
fighting you do this you do that
and you’ll be always having this you
know difficulty and i’m i’m
i’m really sorry for the essence
students because they have to take
decisions of their life
in the most confusing age of their life
yes
during their sisters they’ll be what 12
13 years old and they’re made to take
the most important decisions of their
lives they’re so confused
they cannot even decide which dress to
wear they’re made to decide about their
life
that is a battle we are fighting
so why are we upset or the seven years
of my profession as a counselor
i have met a lot of students they come
to me and sit in front of me asking okay
what’s wrong what’s the problem they say
sir i don’t know sir i’m upset
you’re upset yes why so i don’t know
sir i’m angry i get angry sir why
i don’t know sir i’m happy
why don’t you also be happy for no
reasons yeah
because you’re not paying attention to
the most important thing
you ask you if i ask a student tell me
about your friend
they’ll take a full day to explain about
their friend but i asked him tell me
about you
let me let me start they don’t know
their own strengths and weakness they
don’t know what they like and what they
don’t like
they don’t understand themselves and
they expect others to understand
when you can’t understand yourself how
can you expect others to understand
if you can’t understand what you’re
feeling how can you expect your
there’ll be always fights mommy you
don’t understand me
see you don’t understand me you expect
others to understand you when you’re not
in clarity
so that’s the biggest problem i see in
the youth no clarity about what they’re
feeling
i’ll tell you one thing emotions are
temporary listen to me carefully
emotions are temporary but the
consequences of the action
done because of those emotions are
permanent do you agree with that
you’re angry for one minute and you say
something bad to your friend
and you lose that friendship forever yes
but if you could handle yourself for
that one minute you could have
not had this kind of situation it’s a
it’s a temporary phase we go through
but we do something we end up doing
something that we regret for a lifetime
so remember these things emotions are a
temporary face
don’t take don’t do anything permanently
stupid because
of temporary emotions that is what i
want to tell you
right so yes everything is detailed now
even our emotions right i see
a lot of emojis talking now and first of
all the students are itself confused
they think that the brown color thing is
chocolate ice cream
and they put it on someone’s face in the
image this student it is not
ice cream okay so there’s so much of
confusion when you use
see the purpose of communication is to
make the person understand
yes but if you’re not able to make make
yourself understand what is the use of
sending all emojis
and another short forms lol
rfl emotions should be a
you should help you to express but when
someone is typing lol are they really
laughing out loud
they’re like hello are they really
rolling over the floor and laughing
no i don’t see them so i also see that
another about patience level more than
11 minutes no one can concentrate in
anything
and if a message which you receive in
your whatsapp is more than
four sentences i will definitely tell
you you will never read it
you send a universal reply
yes because if you have reply in words
you have to
read the message so that’s what we are
digitizing
everything see emotions are raw
emotions are pro let it keep it that way
why do you have to put these things
yeah it is easy it is you know you i’ll
tell you the conversation which you do
face to face is always the best one i
hope you agree with that you can you can
have
you can see emotions there
another very important area where
students suffer is self-image
a beautiful girl or a handsome man goes
and stands in front of the
mirror looks at himself everything is
fine i wish my nose was little smaller
i wish i had a curly hair i wish i had
vice versa like rithik roshan
you’re not if someone compliments you
you doubt it are they really
complimenting
you can’t even accept compliments
because there is something wrong with
you always whenever you stand in front
of the mirror you are not happy with
how you look if you are not happy with
how you look how can you expect
others to be happy see everyone has
their own problem the tall people i had
one case
where a guy pc boy came to me for
counseling
the problem was he was six six feet five
inches
he said he will not go to class i said
why my classmates make fun of me they
call me a freak
there are so many students who want to
be tall and he’s tall and he doesn’t
want it
and there are people who are short and
they have their own problems
there is a person who is fair goes to a
tanning machine face thousands of
priests and become tan
there’s a dark lady who wants to become
fair and put spend so much of rupees on
fairness cream
those who are fair wants to become dogs
those whatever want to become fair those
who are fat
want to become thin those are thin they
want to become fat what do you want
too difficult you have no idea what you
want you’re never happy
i think you’re taking steve jobs too
seriously stay hungry stay foolish
don’t take it so seriously sometimes you
have to be happy with what you have
okay why is that you always wait for
someone else’s approval
to get one perfect selfie you take 40
clicks
why can’t you be happy that you got the
best photo and
you will be happy with the photo if you
don’t get 10 likes in one minute
your entire life is gone i am useless
right why do you have to follow trend
when when you can create trends
right every now and then people change
see now
fortunately the status is only for 24
hour hours if it doesn’t have a class
there will not be any space for status
there
so why do you have to wait for approval
why do you have to
wait for others to make you happy can’t
you do it on your own
so this is what people are doing they’re
waiting for other people’s approval to
be happy
let me tell you what happiness is
according to me it is acceptance
if you’re if you can’t accept the family
you’re born with you can never be happy
with that family
if you are not able to accept the job
you are doing even if it pays you crores
of rupees you can’t
be happy with it if you can’t accept the
partner you’re with
you can never be happy with her or him
acceptance
accepting what you have that is the key
to success
so success or happiness so here
please try to accept things that are
around you with you
in you only then you know what real
happiness is
i usually like this movie the
incredibles i hope you have seen them
with
incredibles i am 31 i still watch
cartoons yes
i love it so there’s one quote by edna
mode a character she says
i never look back darling it distracts
from the now
so this image reminds me of a famous
doctor dr b mcdave when i was listening
to one of his speech he tells one thing
i really was fascinated with that
sentence he says in a man’s life there
is one year
in that one year there is 365 days you
should never be worried about two days
in that 365 days
what are they yesterday and tomorrow
you should never be worried about these
two days in the 365 days
about yesterday and tomorrow don’t worry
about yesterday if you have seen the
film
kung fu panda there is this uh master
oogway who says
past is a history history yes past is
history
future is a mystery this is a today is a
present
so enjoy it so that’s where we are
having problem
enjoying the now that’s why we’re not
happy
so uh this is my mom i’ll tell you to
become a counselor
it took me seven years okay of intense
training and a degree to tell me that
i’m a counselor
but my our mothers are inbuilt
counselors natural counselors you should
always listen to them
i had so much of i told you for moments
because she tells me see this is going
to happen like this and i don’t listen
to her and i mess up
and she comes and tells see i told you
so so always listen to your mom she
knows best
she slaps me when i’m wrong she hugs me
when i’m right
okay she never appraises me she always
criticizes me because she tells
to praise you there are people outside
they will not bother about your mistake
but i am your mother
i will correct you so always listen to
your mother because when i am anxious
she makes me sit down okay sit down
what’s happening she asked me
i tell i’m anxiety i have anxiety i’m
nervous
it does breathe slow down you’re just 30
or not 80 who have too much of time in
your life don’t worry about it
so always listen to your mother
sometimes just go and hug your mother
that’s enough
best therapy in the world is a mother’s
hug
sleep on her lap okay do that
when was the last day last time you did
something really silly and enjoyed it
when was the last time you did something
really stupid and laughed about it
and you were making fun of yourself
sometimes you have to be little goofy
so that you can spread smile we are like
mariadi prestige
no smile ah if i smile too much people
will take me granted
forget about what people think it’s good
for your health
you live longer
see we think that life is a race
everyone is in 100 meter race
everyone wants to finish fast i’ll tell
you life is not a race
sometimes you have to slow down stop
observe feel because if you don’t feel
you’re dead when the moment you
stop feeling is the day you die many
people ask me and
how do you manage to smile all the time
i tell them the day i stop smiling is
the day i die
so slow down we are so busy that we
miss so much of the best moments of our
life
okay it’s not a race we are not in a
race please understand this
another important thing i want to tell
you about emotions are emotions are
contagious
what you feel you spread if you’re
feeling happy
you spread that happiness to people
around you if you’re feeling bad
you make people how many of you have
dogs at home
you know they feel your emotions right
they respond to it
it’s a physical thing emotions are a
physical thing it has the power to
influence
your surroundings so if you’re happy
everyone around you is happy
if you’re not happy everyone feels the
same if your parents are not happy at
home you’re also not happy if your
partner is not happy somewhere you’ll
feel it
okay you don’t feel comfortable so
remember another thing
there is no perfection in the world
humans cannot be perfect but we can try
it as a pursuit of perfect
perfection see there are no perfect
families
there are only perfect movements in the
family understood this
there is no perfect relationship there
are only perfect moments in the
relationship
you cannot expect things to be perfect
every time that’s the problem
that makes us unhappy because we expect
too much we expect things to be
as we wanted
observe this image one boy has won the
first place but he’s still crying
but the person who has won the third
prize he’s happy
because happiness is a state of mind i
had a case where one boy
an arrogant boy he wanted an iphone so
he asked his
father for an iphone he bought the
iphone father god because nowadays if
some children ask in the morning you get
it in the evening
whereas when we were small we had tough
tough time
if we asked for something like say one
banyan we had to wait for one month
okay now things have changed everything
is easy so the father bought the
phone next day the boy updates his
facebook status telling that
i hate my dad i wanted a black iphone he
gave me a white one
he has a iphone he was not happy with
the color so i’ll tell you this
happiness is a state of mind no one can
make you have
unhappy if you don’t allow them
if you decide to be happy no one can
touch you
try to create your own happiness yes
try to create your own happiness why do
you have to depend on others
because you always want you want to
enjoy a beach you want wait for your
friends
and you know you plan for some trip
there will be 10
10 people while you’re planning but when
you’re going sometimes you have to go
alone sometimes you never go also
so don’t wait for others to make you
happy
right try to create situations on your
own
that will make you happy because let me
tell you
if you wait for this see no one is in
the planet to make you happy they have
their own life to live
but if you demand that you have to be
with me you have to make me happy
you will always be demanding more so if
you can create things
on your own you need not wait for anyone
see he has he doesn’t have a iron phone
he’s using his old phone and taking a
selfie
he’s living the moment yes so
smile is a beautiful arnold see she has
not even put a
pinch of talcum powder on her face but
look how beautiful she looks
smile more see sometimes even to a
stranger you should smile
because you smile back i told you
emotions are contagious
and for the next half an hour the
stranger will be wondering who was that
so for the half an hour of time you have
made that stranger forget his worry and
think about you
because nowadays i see that people are
always having that grim face
so tight face they’re not relaxed
so much of expectation so much of work
yeah some some they’ll say sir if you
tell that you are always smile people
will think that something is wrong with
us
yeah that is also true because what is
poison
anything that is too much becomes poison
you drink too much of water also your
kidney plants and you die
you drink you eat too much of rice you
have a problem
so everything should be equal see if you
have to enjoy the light you should know
what darkness is
see in mahabharata yudhistra was taken
to hell first by indra he was surprised
why
i have not done anything wrong why are
you taking me to hell first
so indra will reply if you have to
understand what
heaven is you should first know what
hell is
if you want to enjoy what happiness is
you should know what pain is first
because if you are always happy
eventually things get boring
yeah we have something called as law of
diminishing marginal utility
if you do things every time the same way
eventually you get
lose interest in it so everything should
be in balance
that’s how the cosmos work you should be
happy
when you’re supposed to be happy you
should be sad
when you’re supposed to be sad there’s a
funeral happening and you’re just
putting on music and you can’t dance
there in some cultures they’re done but
in mango it’s not allowed
if someone is happy you should also take
part in the happiness
because the more you share see smiley is
the only thing which spreads
and never ends if you give it more and
it’s a no-cost investment you need not
spend anything to smile
okay see if you smile you look more
beautiful
i’ve seen some people know nowadays the
trend is to give a serious look on the
photos i don’t know why everyone is so
serious nowadays
because that’s the trend now see no
matter what changes
the basic human instincts never change
these are the basic emotions happiness
sadness anger
these are the main emotions that are
inbuilt you know when you buy a mobile
phones there are some applications which
are already inbuilt can you uninstall it
these are the uninstallable emotions
don’t try to suppress this some people
say
okay if you’re angry you should not show
it show it but in the right way
not banging anything or throwing things
around
okay there’s a way this see you can in a
computer file
what are the different ways of saving a
file in computer
you can have control s or you can drag
and drop but you’re doing the same thing
right
same way with emotions okay there are so
many people when they’re angry they say
they sit silently there are so many
people when they’re angry they shout
it’s different you select you choose the
right pattern for you
okay emotions have to be expressed
you cannot suppress it if you suppress
it it will become
you know pressure builds up it will
explode to an innocent person
like your boss called you you scold your
wife
the wife called the children the
children beat the cat at home
it’s called burying of emotions because
the employee can’t call the
boss back so he goes to the next
inferior that is the children the
children can’t
shout back at the parents then what do
you have the dogs and cats suffer
let it not go like that let your
emotions flow
in a right way and let everyone be
benefited by it
see i am here i am an ordinary man i
don’t have big humans to tell about
i heard i don’t have a story which i can
use to inspire you
i’m an ordinary man i’m a student of the
university called
world teaching learning about life
from the teacher called time okay so
it’s like i learn from others a lot
because you can’t do all the mistakes
right sometimes you’ll learn from other
people’s mistakes also
and when you do mistakes please learn
and with this i tell you please smile a
lot
because the moment when your husband or
your wife comes home if you’re smiling
no matter what stress they’re in that
stress goes down
but if you’re also complaining when
someone enters the house
first thing what we usually get when you
go home
after office is complaints you’re like
the punching bag sometimes you have to
become the punching bag
see sometimes my mom imagine i go to the
kitchen
i drop one small low top okay i dropped
it
it creates a lot of noise and my mom
will start
her lecture you know if she’ll start
from the day i was born till present
she’ll call me like i have committed a
murder
but i i don’t mind because she has so
much of stress
she’s a single mother so i’m i believe
that i’m helping her by allowing her to
ventilate on me
i am i’m helping her by becoming the
punching bag but if i tell something
back to her like if she says hey
if i say hey she say hey that is
different she’ll not stop
but become that punching bag so that
your loved ones can be healthy
if you don’t allow them to blast on you
then where shall they go
try to understand why it is happening
not just like
she did like this he did like this
understand why it happened
yeah it is difficult i’m not telling
it’s easy understand this
so with this understanding i’ll tell you
everyone can be happy
nowadays people are paying and going to
stand up comedies to be happy
now the situation is like that we have
to pay to be happy
a very bad situation don’t let it be
permanent
be happy with what you have enjoy the
small moments
smile thank you so much