Can humor save your life The bravest thing youve never done
Transcriber: Rita Ricci
Reviewer: Zsófia Herczeg
Can humor save your life?
It’s saved mine, literally.
I was scared. I was alone.
I had no friends.
I couldn’t have friends over.
Mother was a drunk.
When the sun went down, the belt came out.
My siblings and I didn’t always know
what we had done
to make mother mad this time.
I was full of fear and rage,
and I was only 15.
I just … was done.
I was done.
Done being scared, done being blamed.
Done living in a home
where I didn’t feel safe.
(Exhales)
I was downstairs in the teenage bedroom
that I had to earn my place to get there,
and I finally had in it was dark,
dark paneled walls,
and it smelled musty, and I loved it.
I was sitting on the blue plaid bedspread,
painkillers in my left hand,
glass of water in my right.
I’m going to take these,
fall asleep, float away, and be done.
But then I heard laughter and applause
coming from the living room.
I could make out the light.
Yeah, the TV was on.
And was that the Tarzan yell? Oh my gosh!
The Carol Burnett Show was on.
Well, we didn’t have DVR or VHS,
for that matter.
You either went to see the show
you loved or you missed out.
In that moment, I was brave enough
to choose comedy.
Yeah, I went toward the sound of laughter
and the glow of the television.
Oh, spoiler alert,
I didn’t kill myself that night.
We learned early on
that if mother was laughing,
she wasn’t hitting us.
And after one
of those really rough nights,
my siblings and I would try
and cheer each other up.
You know, we would tell jokes,
do some pranks or do impressions
of our parents’ friend,
like the guy we called “swearing Darrel.”
I chose humor as my escape.
I still do.
When I was about 33
and I had two toddler boys,
I was in a really dark place.
And it was so dark, in fact,
I’d reached out to a family member
to share I’m not doing so good.
And then a friend called me,
and she told me all
about this comedy troupe she was in.
And then she dared me to try out for it.
What? A dare? Oh yeah!
(Giggles)
I did. I auditioned. I got in.
And for the next two decades,
humor became my business:
from sketch comedy to improvisation
to speaking events and pranks.
So many pranks.
(Giggles)
What if you played with telemarketers
when they call you?
Why not tape an empty soda cup
on top of your vehicle
just so that you can see strangers
point at your car and yell,
“Hey, you’ve got a cup up there.”
Try it!
It’s called affordable fun.
Humor is a connector.
We… You know, it just crosses age,
language and gender barriers.
We don’t have to know each other.
For all of us to be in the grocery store
standing, doing our own thing,
and all of a sudden, we see a parade
of inflatable T. Rex costumes
passing by, going over to produce.
Oh look, a sale on bananas.
(Laughter)
It’s funny. We’re going to laugh
when we see that.
And in that moment, we’ve shared joy.
And for all of us, when we go
out to our next interaction,
we are also spreading humor
and fun and lightheartedness.
And I call that the ripple effect of joy.
Laughter demands
your full attention and focus.
Humor is contagious in the good way.
Forbes calls it a game
of endorphin dominos.
So I’ve been a performer
for 20 some years now,
and it’s no secret
that applause is my approval,
laughter is my acceptance,
and humor is really what I choose.
So by accident,
I started a project in bravery.
I was walking around in a downtown area,
a historic, beautiful area,
and two teenagers came
out of the ice cream store.
And, of course, they’re full of joy.
One has a waffle cone
of bright pink ice cream,
and her friend had
some white fudgy, swirly yum.
And they were going
to take selfies by a brick wall.
Life was good, we’re young.
(Sings) We got ice cream.
You know, I wanted in on that fun.
And so I dared myself.
Self I said? Yes, I answered.
I think I’ll go
get into a picture with them.
That’d be silly, wouldn’t it?
At that point,
I stopped talking to myself,
and I just started going over there.
And because I dared myself,
I started to sweat.
You know, in the weird places.
And then, it’s OK.
That means you’re doing
something kind of exciting.
So I approached and I said,
“Hey, can we get a selfie together?”
And Cotton Candy Girl says,
“Like are you an influencer?”
And I said,
“Oh, I’ll have to look that up.
I don’t know, I’ll get back to you.”
And as they were about
to take the selfie,
I had this other thought.
Let’s not smile.
And so I said that,
“Hey, let’s not smile for this photo.”
And Rocky Road said,
“You mean like be serious?”
Ah, exactly that
So we did, and the more we tried
to not smile and not laugh,
the more we burst out laughing.
I’m sure you’ve had that happen.
But I also want to dare you
all to try this later,
take a selfie with somebody,
and then all of a sudden,
right before you take it,
don’t smile and it’s ridiculous.
And if you do, I want you
to share it with me.
I have had about, I don’t know,
200 or more of these pictures.
And the first one that went into my book,
these are the girls
I was telling you about.
And one of their mothers happened
to see this picture in my book,
reached out to me
because she recognized me
from doing performing.
And she said
we should get together for coffee.
Let’s get all the girls together.
It ended up to be about 12 of us
taking over the coffee house
for about two hours.
All because I dared myself,
I reconnected with people
that I didn’t know
were still connected to,
and I made new friends.
Then there was the man
that was about to go fishing.
And when I saw his hot dog shirt,
I needed me a serious selfie
with this guy.
And then I was taking photos of my son,
I think it was for his birthday.
There was a gentleman
trying to stay out of the way,
and instead I flagged him over and I said,
“Get in here,
let’s get a picture together.”
OK, that’s really fun.
We really laughed.
This picture you can’t tell,
but it was a really good time.
Then at one of my favorite restaurants,
the table next to me was all in for it.
This picture makes me laugh every time
because being serious is silly.
So, try it!
I’m still friends with -
I didn’t know them then,
but I am friends with Chris
in the white T-shirt,
and we still get together.
We still go to that restaurant.
We’ve connected as friends
from this picture,
from choosing to connect with a stranger,
from taking my face out
of my hand computer.
I mean friendships, lasting relationships
and silly moments and spread joy.
Humor heals.
It raises your endorphins,
it lowers your blood pressure,
and it releases
nature’s antidepressant - serotonin.
So if I prank you, and I will,
you can thank me for that beautiful
release of adrenaline.
You’re welcome.
It’s affordable health care.
Take chances.
One small step
could lead to something great.
Seek humor.
Be bold.
Be brave.
By choosing to be silly with strangers,
I connected with people,
and we created
this ripple effect of joy.
It was not just for myself,
it was for anyone around.
Choose to venture
outside of your comfort zone,
reach out to an old friend,
have that difficult conversation
with your partner or your boss.
Dare yourself daily.
What if?
Why not?
And go find the fun.
Reach out to an old friend,
and send a silly greeting card,
or read a joke the morning,
or send your friend flowers in a balloon
that says happy birthday six months early.
How about a drink of coffee in the shower?
You don’t need my permission.
But I’ll give it to you anyway.
Thank you.
(Applause)