Conscious humour to foster inclusion and diversity
[Music]
in september 2018
i was just off the stage from a comedy
gig i would organize in cannes
when a lady came up to me and said thank
you
i didn’t plan on coming today but i saw
the poster and just decided to walk in
you see i have cancer i have undergone
chemo for the last year and it’s not
getting any better
i now have another realm to do but for
the first time in a year
today i loved thank you so very much
it was a very emotional and powerful
moment
moments like this make me realize just
how
humor can be a powerful tool it is the
reason
i go back on stage again and again and
why
i have dedicated my business and my life
to humor
what i do is quite unusual i’m a humor
and leadership evangelist i seek to
convert leaders to the power of humor
my job is at the convergence point of
academia business and entertainment
i researched the benefits of yamaha in
leadership
i train coach and advise people and
organization
to apply this principle to improve their
business performance
and as a standard comedian i make people
laugh
through my work i’ve come to realize
three things
firstly from my personal experience and
as a comedian
i now see humor as a super and as such
it can be used to build up or tear down
secondly there are many disparities in
how humor can be understood
especially between genders and cultures
nationalities
finally and most importantly unlike what
is usually assumed
just like languages there are multiple
types of humor we should be aware of
and this allow us to adapt our sense of
humor to people and situations
so let me disentangle the structures of
humor for you
first humor is a superpower
the american poet singer memorists and
civil rights activist
maya angelou said i’ve learned that
people will forget what you said
people will forget what you did but
people
will never forget how you make them feel
a simple joke can be a powerful act of
vulnerability
and a very effective way to create an
authentic
connection with someone humor
is a real superpower and as spiderman’s
uncle said with great power comes great
responsibility
with you more you have the power to make
people feel good around you
or to undermine them with a simple joke
and you think oh it’s only a joke no
it’s not
it’s much more than that through a joke
you can convey a strong message
with a positive or a negative intention
you can be
sexist racist discriminatory
incriminatory
with a joke but because it is said with
you more you are depriving
the other person of their power to be
angry
to respond you have the power
to include or to exclude
for a piece of research i interview a
senior executive from a uk bank who told
me a story
the bank had organized a maternity leave
party for the hell of risk
in a room full of people two senior
managers said out loud
she should have just used a condom the
woman targeted was offended
and left upset if it had been me
i would have responded for sure your
mother should have done the same
that would not have happened to me today
but this could have happened to me 20
years ago
i started my career as a young
journalist in a daily newspaper in the
south of france
being the youngest and the only girl in
the team i was the constant target of
mockery at what we would call today
inappropriate jokes
it was a time where the internet didn’t
exist
smoking in an office was a load and
sexism and discrimination were perfectly
accepted
one day as i was frantically typing on
my keyboard one of my colleagues got
into the newsroom and asked me if i
wanted to see his new tattoo
i wanted to be friendly and polite so i
said
why not that’s when he unbought on his
james and showed me his
pubic hair laughing
he said look it’s a lion here is the
mane
people were laughing around me i didn’t
know what to say so
i didn’t say anything it felt wrong
i felt powerless and ashamed i knew i
should have
spoken up asserted myself and regained
respect
but i didn’t because it was only a joke
maybe at least once in your life you
have also felt the same
i have trained many men and women who
have felt the same they have walked out
on an office banter thinking damn
i should have said something but it
didn’t they have carried their shame for
years
until they shared the stories with me
that’s when i realized
humor is a superpower and as such it can
be used to build up
or tear down some of you may think but
it’s horrible it’s not a joke it’s
harassment
but yes it is a joke it was a joke to
him
a really bad poorly made joke
why because humor is in the reception as
much as in the intention
and what was intended here was to make
somebody
laugh it is not an excuse but what is
needed
is to shift to a positive intention
today this could not happen to me
not because we are in a different
society
trust me similar things can and do still
happen
but because i’m a different person in my
career
i left many jobs or rather i left many
toxic environments
where people use you more to secure the
power
and put people down and an environment
where
humor was used to undermine was not what
i wanted for myself
and that is not what i wish for others
over the years i’ve used tumor as a
defense mechanism
because i made a choice to laugh along
with my colleagues rather than being
excluded this leads me to my second
point
humor is gender sensitive and culture
sensitive years of working in
male-dominated
industries have turned my sense of humor
into an aggressive one
which helped me gain respect with my
male peers but not with the woman with
whom i worked
why because humor has a gender and as
sure as
men come from mars and women from venice
we don’t use and understand humor the
same way
so how is it that everybody wants to be
liked accepted and be funny but nobody
takes you more seriously
how is it that people agree that humor
is a powerful tool
but don’t use it or use it badly how is
it
that humor is something so positive
but it can be used to hurt and diminish
the reason is that nobody consciously
uses their sense of humor
humor is a language and you can speak it
fluently
this is my third point your sense of
humor is
changeable but in order to be able to
use you more as a tool
you must be aware of your own sense of
humor
and have a thorough understanding of how
you use and receive humor
the same way you should prepare for a
meeting in a foreign country
in making sure everybody speaks a common
language checking what is appropriate to
say and how to act
and adapt language and behavior
accordingly
in the same way humor has to be prepared
when i give a talk or perform comedy in
the uk
it is a very different experience from
performing in france
humor is difficult to export as each
culture
has its own style of humor and what is
humorous in one country
is often not humorous in another
but for example there are a few
commonalities that bring french and
english together
both have a negative sense of humor in
the sense that it is detrimental for
others or us and if i perform my routine
tailored for a british
audience in france it would be a flop
trust me i tried
apparently french don’t like to be the
butt of the joke
and preparation star is awareness
awareness of how you use and receive
humor
awareness of your own style of your more
and what
your purpose is in using humor
awareness of who you are as a person and
as a leader
we often think there is only one type of
humor ours
and whoever is a laughing and our jokes
has no sense of humor
science has categorized four types of
humor
two negatives and two positives i
mentioned i have an aggressive kind of
humor
which is part of the negative category
but you can also have a self-defeating
type of humor
which some would say is the dna of
british people
the most positives are the
self-enhancing
and affiliative types of humor
to know about your own sense of humor is
important
but also not sufficient important
because your sense of humor determines
who you
are and says a lot about you your
personality your background your values
knowing how your humor works also
allows you to adapt it not sufficient
because what is essential is your
intention
and that says a lot about the person you
want
to be your intention your awareness
give you the keys to change your
perspective on humor
strategically adapt your sense of humor
to people and situations
for a funnier and safer workplace
today diversity and inclusion are key
organizational challenges
what if there would be an unexpected
solution to foster inclusion and improve
diversity
a solution which would not include a
team building in barbados
a new fancy tech tool or an innovation
boot camp
a solution much simpler free and that we
all have
i believe humor can provide a path to
inclusion and diversity
but only if we all agree that humor
should not be used to exclude but to
include
not to disconnect but to reconnect not
to put people down but to raise them up
before i leave the stage let me give you
five keys to lead more inclusive teams
and more humorous
organizations one be connected
create a connection with your audience
while preparing your jobs
think of what you have in common it is
critical to know your audience including
their work backgrounds
basic personal information and their
affiliations
it can’t help minimize the risks
associated with the use of humor such as
offending peers appearing insensitive
and being socially distant at the
workplace
in today’s linkedin and facebook age
it’s quite easy to get this information
two be vulnerable don’t take yourself
too seriously
show that you can stop and have a good
laugh when leaders show their
narrabilities
they reduce feeling of intimidation and
improve their likability
this can’t make subordinates feel more
comfortable
admitting their own mistakes expressing
their concern
and challenging the leaders all of which
can enhance performance
three be authentic if you are under
pressure
humor is the first thing that can
disappear
it is important to use humor to show
that you are authentic
and in control even under pressure
if you can still use your more while
under pressure
it conveys the message that you are in
control not only of the situation
but of yourself four
be respectful conscious humor should be
kind
and intelligent in using situational
awareness to bring people together
and create positive energy for example
you can look at different customer
stereotypes
or things that might happen within the
value chain and you can draw comedy from
it
five be ready be well prepared for this
uncomfortable situation that you may
encounter with a funny comeback
and make meetings and presentations
memorable with a poignant
jaunty joke that helps convey your
message people can also encounter
inappropriate comments
if you have already come back in your
pocket it is a really good way to point
out something that is inappropriate
without being competitive
having entangled the network of humor
i hope you now begin to see it in a
different way
as a communication structures that can
convey
messages of positivity but also sexism
racism and discrimination
a complex and malleable structure which
differentiates
across regions cultures and countries
a tool to disconnect but also reconnect
globally as a community of curious cells
eager to engage with ideas and each
other let’s work together to make sure
humor is used to unite people so that
police
who use humor to secure the power as
insignificant as it is
will not poison the culture of our
organizations
nor our minds now all you need to do
is dare to be funny and put laughter
around you
make someone smile today multiply
positivity and
happiness and unleash a ripple effect
that will have the power
to change the world one of at a time
thank you
[Music]
you