To be or not to be that is the expression Shaunak Roy
[Music]
[Music]
my name is shawnik roy
also known as royal and i’m a bengali
american medical student
and musician i’m originally from the
bengal region of south asia
bengalis are the third largest ethnic
group in the world
while our mother tongue bangla is the
seventh most widely spoken by total
number of speakers
but it’s rarely felt that way for me
having a hyphenated ethnic identity such
as my own
is difficult to navigate this identity
is often reduced to just being
multilingual rather than having a
different level of cultural awareness
my roots are in bengal but my branches
are here
in america throughout my life i’ve been
made to feel that i exist in moments
only as one specific
part of my identity take something as
simple as asking yourself right now
what your favorite movie is as you’re
thinking about it if
multiple answers are coming to mind are
those answers
changing based on where you are and who
you’re with
in general do you think you’d feel
hesitant to share any of those answers
again based on where you are and who
you’re with
now yes there could be a number of
factors at play here
but i suspect that those of you who
carry a hyphenated ethnic identity
especially one with american at the end
of it you know exactly what i’m talking
about
you’ve probably heard what you say what
kind of name is that
is that even english you see i find that
there’s this expectation
this expectation that you have to
separate your hyphenated ethnic identity
into its parts and embody a specific
part based on where you are and who
you’re with
rather than being able to embody the
whole
i was born in india and my family and i
moved here when i was young
i’ve been raised here alongside my
younger sister
so on one hand we were listening to
american hip-hop and rap music
and on the other equally listening to
bollywood and bengali music at home
see the split translated to everything
it wasn’t just
movies and music it was all the art and
forms of expression
that we consumed and it was difficult
still to find
role models who captured the whole of
our identity
we had to be content for the most part
with exclusively american role models
or exclusively bengali ones
in college i had greater exposure to
people of south asian descent
i was able to explore this umbrella
identity so to speak
through a competitive fusion acapella
team and a competitive fusion dance team
this exploration consisted of marrying
western music and eastern music
in the forms of vocal arrangements mixes
and mashups
the novelty at this point was for me to
hear anything remotely south asian
in combination with anything remotely
american
remember those stats i told you in the
beginning they still didn’t hold true in
these communities
it was very rare for me to come across
bengali americans
as a result i was left to venture
through hindi and punjabi songs
fused with american english songs while
it’s true that i think this exploration
brought me more in touch with my
umbrella identity
it eventually made me realize just how
underrepresented i
felt specifically as a bengali american
i could see myself continuing to operate
in this creative sphere
but just because you can do something
doesn’t mean that it’s bringing you
fulfillment
after college i began to take greater
notice of bengali diaspora creatives
creatives who i saw were exploring this
expression of their hyphenated identity
initially i thought i would need the
support of and collaboration with these
established artists
in order to make something for myself
now i’m sure this is something we can
all relate to we always look for that
blueprint
in someone else rather than having that
conversation
with ourselves of maybe we already know
what it is that we want to do
but we’re reluctant because we don’t
know if we’re going to be able to make
it on our own
and then we just wait and wait and wait
but that blueprint never materializes
from somewhere else
i think it only materializes when we
take that risk
of asking ourselves how can i alone
make this happen that moment that we
take that risk
that moment that we take that time and
space to introspect
that’s when the blueprint materializes
and realizing
that you could be that person
for me i realized that i didn’t need to
wait for anybody
i could be that person but what did that
mean
what would embodying the whole of my
identity
as a bengali american sound like in
music
just as we see in other forms of
expression
fusion music tends to come down to the
parts rather than the whole when i was
exploring my umbrella identity
through the competitive fusion dance
team and competitive fusion a cappella
team
i noticed this comfort that creators and
consumers felt
when there were very clear demarcations
of where one identity began
and another identity ended it was
important for me to break this mentality
and so i first set my aim on the
composition of the song that i would
ultimately make
the song that you heard when i walked on
stage today
so let’s have some fun
growing up listening to american hip-hop
and rap music
this genre finds its way into the
soundscape by the main drums
[Music]
equally listening to bollywood and
bengali music at home
especially folk bengali music this genre
finds its way into the soundscape
via the dotara a traditional string
instrument
and the tabla a traditional percussion
instrument from the region
[Music]
no stranger to self-doubt as i was
creating this instrumental
i began to wonder with this attempt at
being my own source of representation
would it only speak to me was this the
correct way to go about it
and why sup in music if i’m being honest
i feel this doubt in my medical pursuits
as well
i don’t know of nor have i come across
many bengali americans
who captured the whole of my identity as
a medical student
and a musician while asian americans are
certainly overrepresented in the
healthcare field here
it’s again rarely felt that way for me
the importance of role models and
representation therefore
cannot be underestimated i think that in
most of our endeavors we as humans and
as social people
we look to others for reassurance that
the path that we’re on
is attainable but how can you become
something
that you can’t see and for me the
question here
was how can i express something that i
have not heard before
what i realize is that there is no right
or wrong
way to express your hyphenated ethnic
identity
this identity like other identities can
be thought of as a spectrum
and everyone who identifies as such is
just somewhere along that spectrum
i had to remember that what was driving
the creation of this song
was the desire to make the kind of music
that i wish i had growing up here
as a bengali american if i felt that i
was achieving that
then there was no reason to think too
hard on who the song would ultimately
resonate with
speaking my truth on simultaneously
expressing both aspects
was sufficient and translatable enough
now the clearest division of fusion
music tends to be seen in the lyrical
structure
for example in a mashup the verse might
solely be in bangla
but the chorus might solely be in
english
i had spent so long thinking that there
was someone else out there
to be that source of representation i
knew
that the interplay of the languages used
in the lyrics was going to be critical
through that interplay i had to
demonstrate that i could be my own
source of representation
the way to do that was to have the
languages flowing freely between each
other
as seamlessly as possible so let’s take
a listen to what that sounded like
let me see your hands high sharp judy
action
having heard the influences from bengali
folk
american hip-hop and rap music and this
desired emphasis
on the seamlessness of the languages
used were left with the chorus of
amaderi’s same pride
my answer to the question of how to be
your own source of representation
is to find out what it is that resonates
with your people
for bengali americans and bengalis all
around the world
it’s the love of our language bangla
it’s a language spoken by so many
but built upon the sacrifices of so many
the bengali language movement and the
subsequent bangladesh liberation war
happened only a few decades ago as the
generations above
fought for the recognition and usage of
the language
and ultimately their independence this
is the source of our strength
and our pride and was the spark of
inspiration
for me to create a form of expression
that captured that
whole of my identity
as a finishing touch i reached out to
several creatives of bengali
origin to send in cameos for an
accompanying music video
for a song that spoke to the
representation that i wanted to hear
it was only right for the video to be
the representation that i wanted to see
ultimately amaderi saying pride featured
more than 20 different creatives
of bengali origin from musicians to
artists
singers and more i wasn’t sure what kind
of response i was going to get
but what i did get surprised me i didn’t
fully realize how much it meant to
people
to just experience the expression of
their identity
as i reflect this has driven me to
continue to chase the creation of that
experience
for more people in your own explorations
perhaps you’ll find similarly make no
mistake
a few months ago i was looking for the
blueprint elsewhere
but taking the time and space to
introspect has created a new sense of
purpose for me
to continue to learn how to not just be
what i can’t see
but the expression of that being
my challenge for you today is to expand
the forms of expressions that you create
to capture the whole of your identity
whether that be cultural
ethnic socioeconomic gender sexual
orientation
and others for me this was through music
what will it be for you