The Toolbox for Bystander Intervention
hello everyone
2020 has been a difficult year
and unfortunately instead of uniting to
face each new challenge
we have highlighted all of the ways
americans disagree
and don’t appreciate one another this
year
hundreds of thousands of people have
poured into the streets
asking for police reform but of those
peaceful thousands
there are some who have left damage in
their wake
and across the aisle others have taken
up arms in response
we have become so divided
that we’re willing to take even more
lives
that’s not who we are america
but i have hope and a faith in human
connection
that has brought me here today
i have come to speak to you as many
before me have
about our shared humanity and the idea
of intervening in someone else’s story
to help them find peace you can be
someone who reacts to the things that
happen around you
and the people they happen to
i’m a former law enforcement officer
i was a border patrol agent in texas and
i owe
a lot of my self-confidence fearlessness
and my desire to help others to my
experience as an agent
i respect and appreciate those who
choose to serve their communities
and uphold the law particularly those
who take humanity and equality with them
in the process
but i know our law enforcement is not
meeting the needs of our communities
right now
and has at times even failed them
entirely
so what can we do
well the road is long but to start
i believe we can engage with each other
more frequently
in those small moments of need we can
show up with our words and our actions
to check on each other ensure safety and
give support
we need more people who are willing to
acknowledge the things that are
happening around them
every day and bring humanity back to the
forefront
this is a challenge to accept what
intervention
can look like for you using tools you
already have
so to help you with that i’ve brought
with me
some tangible metaphysical tools to
share with you all
but before i do
i want to acknowledge that the people of
this great city
have a collective trauma associated with
bystander intervention
the double murder of two men and serious
injury of a third who stood up
to interrupt hate speech in 2017
sparked outrage and fear
this shared trauma might make
intervention
more difficult for portlanders
and as i share my stories today i honor
this loss
so let me tell you a story of my own
i have two dogs on one of our evening
walks not too long ago
we heard a man yelling in anger at
another man it was near a houseless
encampment
so i said to the puppies let’s walk over
and see if we can help
upon approaching there was a man
standing there holding a piece of metal
piping and shouting
that guy stole my stuff he stole my
stuff
the other man was actually walking away
at this point
he appeared upset but was no longer
engaging
my assumption was this man with a pipe
was willing to pursue him
in order to continue the conversation
i said that sucks i’m really sorry your
stuff was stolen
he said that guy stole my stuff he stole
my stuff and he threw it away
i said i believe you and i’m really
sorry that happened to you
he continued to yell at his assailant
and shook the pipe in the air
i said look
i’m worried that the cops might have
been called because you were standing
here yelling at each other
and they’re going to show up and see you
holding this pipe
i’m worried that they could see it as a
weapon and arrest you
i don’t want that to happen i don’t want
anyone to get hurt
he looked me straight in the eyes and
said
that guy stole my stuff and then he
dropped the pipe
i asked if we could help any further but
he declined already halfway across the
street
walking in the other direction the
puppies and i returned home
it’s possible that my intervention
prevented the violence that could have
occurred between these two men
or maybe it prevented the arrest of one
person who was just having a really bad
day
and at the very least it did show one
person
that someone was willing to listen
and you know what there are others
having even more important dialogues
right now
at one of the black lives matter
protests i attended
as a small group of people began to
vandalize city hall
one young black man said that’s not why
we’re here tonight
a passionate conversation between
several protesters took place
about the inefficiencies of direct
action
the same young man said if we want to
defund the police we have to begin to
police ourselves better
intervening and engaging in non-violent
dialogue such as this
creates a space for others to do the
same
the exchange of ideas allows for
understanding
and opens the door for actual change
i’m a member of the portland peace team
this is a group of volunteers who hold a
peacekeeping
grounded in non-violence at protests
marches
rallies in our city my academy training
and law enforcement experience
taught me to never hesitate in
responding to a call for help
and like the portland peace team it gave
me the opportunity to regularly engage
with my community
in order to do my job in the patrol i
was taught to use the tools on my belt
to assist me with my work
the portland peace team gave me the
opportunity to use my heart
and my mind as my primary resources
and those are some of the tools i’d like
to share with you today
so let’s take a moment to visualize
you have just decided to insert yourself
into someone else’s experience
to provide assistance so reach behind
you
and grab your toolbox
do you have yours in front of you now
let’s open it up
what do you think
uh this woman just gave me an invisible
empty box
okay your box is invisible but it’s not
empty
in fact it’s full of brightly colored
sturdy and useful tools
so i’m going to put mine over here
so before we go through these tools
don’t try to memorize each one as we go
but think of this as a journey through
your senses
with your heart and your mind as your
guide so
what do we have here
it starts with breath be mindful of your
body
and work to stay calm this is the most
important tool you have
when responding to any sort of stressful
or urgent event
honor your adrenaline but don’t let it
control you
and then it’s your sight
pay attention to the facts you see who’s
involved
what’s their body language is the
situation safe
intervention will always mean fully
seeing other people
and treating them with respect
so when that’s hard you can use this
next tool
a shelf this is a place to put any of
those triggers or reactive feelings that
get in the way
of being truly empathetic to another
person
this is a safe place to put your
judgments
anxieties and implicit biases
so learn your physical reactions
when you face something stressful these
feelings are normal
give yourself a break you can name them
acknowledge them
and then put them on your shelf to
address later in your self-care practice
the cool thing about the shelf is that
learning this tool
gives us the opportunity to react when
maybe we wouldn’t instinctually
to break down those gut reactions that
can limit us
i’m asking you to react thoughtfully
instead of instinctually
okay this next tool is my favorite
empathy empathy is the building block to
human connection
and i use a rose here to symbolize its
beauty and grace
think of empathy as giving a rose to a
total stranger
this person is worthy of your most
valuable gift
when we bring empathy into the room we
create a space for others to just be
in whatever moment or emotion or
situation they’re currently experiencing
and you can practice empathy every day
in those tiny gut reactions when you
read a news headline
or in conversations with your best
friend
we can become experts in seeing humanity
in
all people so tap into your own
experiences
moments when you’ve been vulnerable or
felt shame
maybe you weren’t your best or you
needed a hand
treat others the same way that you
needed in those moments
we can only get better at this
okay what else is in here
silence listen
don’t talk really listen to what is
actually happening
not what you think is happening listen
so that you can respond with authentic
compassion
even if you disagree with what is being
said
there are many times when intervention
will not require
any words from you it will just require
that you stand
up and interrupt the flow of what’s
happening
the number one thing that’s been asked
of me in moments of intervention
is to listen to someone who has
something to say
and no one to say it to
this next tool makes everything easier
the letter c c is all the words that
matter most for you to be completely
present
compassion calm centered
caring curiosity there are surprising
number of peaceful words
that start with the letter c this is a
commitment
be courageous and next
i give you a pocket mirror
this is a tool to use when and if you
speak
this is for validation give truth to
someone else’s experience
rather than isolation use your mirror
neurons to reflect
back to them that you see them believe
them
and they are valuable
and finally i threw in some hand
sanitizer
since you’re carrying it around anyway
these days due to cover 19.
let it remind you as a rule
we don’t touch someone who’s escalated
it can trigger them
at least not without their permission
you are showing up with your head and
your heart as your primary tactical
hardware
if you must use your body do so with the
intention to prevent
violence and know your limits
put your safety first when you intervene
i can’t guarantee that everything will
go smoothly or that you will change the
greater narrative but this is about
paradigm building
building a society or compassion and
empathy
define how we react and how we treat
each other
i don’t know what sorts of intervention
opportunities lay ahead for you
maybe you’ll get a goat unstuck from a
fence
or maybe you’ll push someone in a
wheelchair through an uphill
crosswalk maybe it’s a conversation
about why black lives matter
maybe it’s helping an intoxicated person
who’s sleeping on the sidewalk
or staying with the driver of a car
accident who’s upset
and not thinking clearly and maybe
it’s using your privilege to stand in
front of a counter protester
who’s shouting she has a bomb at a woman
wearing a headscarf these are some of my
experiences
i encourage you to add tools to your box
whenever you can
in the form of training education and
practice
in order to do this work we have to
exercise these tools
and break down our current gut reactions
that tell us not to get involved
and the ripple effect is a community
and america filled with people who are
genuinely looking out for one another
i’m asking you to be a first responder
in the smallest of ways
in your own communities families careers
and neighborhoods
i’m asking you to take this box with you
everywhere you go
and keep your compassion and empathy
always at the ready
i’m asking you to give a rose to anyone
who needs one
thank you for your time