My journey to the stage
[Music]
[Music]
choose
hi everyone my name is shivani bafna and
giving a ted talk has been a dream on my
vision board
for the last five years and the fact
it’s actually happening right now
feels surreal so when i was asked to
give this talk
i first had a little happy dance in my
room but then it hit me
what could i possibly say that hasn’t
been said before
what could i a 24 year old say to
inspire you
and honestly who from this college board
even deemed me worthy of being here
like many of you i too have watched a
countless number of these talks
but i was always left wondering how was
that guest invited to be on this side of
the stage
and how could i do the same and when i
really thought about it
this has been the case for every single
dream of mine
where was the road map and that’s when
it clicked
let me give the talk today that 16 year
old shivani wished she could have seen
how to get to the tedx stage well
virtually
so to begin let me introduce myself some
of you may know me as a content creator
some of you may know me as a tv host to
interview celebrities
and some of you may know me as that girl
from the bollywood paris proposal video
but i hope all of you by the end of this
know me as someone who has spent the
last five years of her life
striving to build a unique path but more
importantly who has celebrated the
journey
every step of the way i am a second
generation indian american
who grew up in a very privileged
midwestern bubble
i lived in indiana for 10 years ohio for
the next 10 years
and if you’re wondering where that is
yep you’re right it’s in the middle of
nowhere
my dad is a doctor my mom’s an
accountant my younger brother and fiance
work in finance
and i was raised in an environment that
stressed good values and a strong work
ethic
so with my quintessential high school
resume and an admission to the
university of michigan’s biomedical
engineering program
my dream was to become a doctor now
let’s pause
if i went down that route i would have
gotten the collapse from the uncles and
aunties
but i probably wouldn’t be giving the
speech right now so if we go back to the
initial question
how to get to the tedx stage tip number
one
embrace the discomfort of not pleasing
society
because you’re likely shaking things up
and thus
let me share anecdotes from my journey
that i believe got me invited on this
stage
and maybe some of the learning lessons
will resonate with you to go out and do
the same
in your own journey eighteen-year-old
siobhani who was all set to become a
doctor
decided that the summer before she
entered college was the one time she
could do something non-science related
upon seeing a facebook post of the
company miss malini looking for interns
i emailed the address given with my
application and i heard no response
i proceeded to find the founder’s name
melanie agarwal and typed in
all the combinations and permutations of
her email
malniatmasmalini.com
until one email finally went through and
i landed the internship
so tip number two be stubbornly
persistent with your goals
i interned at miss melanie as a blogger
but also thought
while i was in mumbai why not try my
hand at modeling
but again how does one start so of
course
i thought of an ingenious idea i googled
how to become a model mumbai and saw a
few results talking about this place
aramnagar
so anareshvani gets in an auto and says
i get to this area and they’re just
numbered little homes everywhere
i see some model looking people walk in
so i just followed him inside
the casting director would look me up
and down and say who called you for this
audition
and on the spot i would respond with a
poker face
shaolin he sent me shaolin is my mom’s
name
and they’d go there’s no charlie that
works here
to which i’d open up my whatsapp scroll
through a few messages
pretend to find a chat and then look up
and say uh
it’s in here somewhere i’m not finding
it can i still give an audition
and 85 of the time they’d agree
so tip number three fake it till you
make it
that summer finished up and i realized
that this feeling of doing something
unconventional
and figuring it out myself was addictive
but
i’m also my writing and i needed to find
a way to monetize this and make it my
profession
so at 19 i did another google search
bollywood company in america and i
learned there was only one company that
was doing this
the asian variety show again upon
emailing them tweeting at them
cold calling them with no response
detective shivani took to facebook
i looked up abs’s founder’s profile raju
seti
and saw that he’s good friends with
someone else who ran a pr
company and although i had no interest
in working in pr
i decided i would intern there in the
hopes that the friend would give me a
referral to raju
which would ultimately land me the
connection i really wanted
and that brings me to step number four
invest in the marathon
and look at opportunities with a longer
term investment because you’re not
always going to land your dream gig from
day one
now two years into college i realized i
didn’t want my entire undergraduate
experience to just be bollywood and
entertainment focused
so the following years i did corporate
internships media buying and brand
management as well as a three-month
strategy co-op
so tip number five intern and network as
much as you can especially during
college
it’s the best way to get your feet wet
and make mistakes at a company’s expense
fast forward to college graduation and i
have to decide
am i taking the full-time stable
corporate job in new york city
or am i moving to mumbai to work in
entertainment without a set plan
and i’m sure you can guess by now i
trusted my gut
i took a calculated risk and i moved
from my midwestern bubble
to mumbai i didn’t know of a single
person who had done something similar to
what i wanted to do
nor did i have any friends or familial
connections to bounce ideas off of
but what i did have was a lot of passion
a passion to prove myself and to the
world that i could
figure it out a passion to take risks
and a passion to break the mold
so tip number six dream big but with
passion
because without it you’re just watching
other people’s dreams become a reality
like thousands of people who come to
mumbai to make their dreams come true
i too was determined but i made it a
point that i candidly document and share
the ups and downs of the journey behind
every dream of mine there
so that in the off chance some of those
dreams came true thousands of young
adults could learn from my mistakes and
successes
and follow the same steps that i took so
yeah it was cool that i interviewed
shout out khan and acted in tv
commercials and featured on billboards
but what was more important to me was
showing you how those dreams happened
and the craziness and bloopers behind it
all so tip number seven
celebrate the journey as much as the
winds because you are creating a path
for so many to follow and in the words
of gamla harris
while i may be the first i definitely
won’t be the last
the countless rejections at auditions
taking local trains
lying to my landlord and telling him i
worked in finance in order to rent my
apartment as a single girl
difficulties getting paid on time
drinking countless cups of chai
in bed doubting whether this was even
the right decision at all
these were some of those in-between
moments i captured these memories so i
could one day potentially show my future
kids the craziness their mom pulled off
but what i realized is that hundreds of
thousands of people
loved following along my adventures too
we all love a good story right
be it politics reality tv business
sports
sure we root for people who achieve
wonderful things
but we root harder when we’re attached
to their story
so tip number eight embrace the failures
and don’t be shy
admitting when you stumbled a story
isn’t built with just
roses and unicorns ultimately
my story took me back to the us to work
towards building something bigger than
just myself in bollywood
and to be closer to my family in order
to maximize memories created with them
kovid made sure that the former goal had
many many entrepreneurial hiccups
and that the latter goal happened on
overdrive after now living in the same
home as my family for the last nine
months
bringing me to tip number nine maintain
perspective
it’s less about the cards you were dealt
and more to do with how you play them
in a couple of weeks you all are the
first to find out
i am launching a community driven
platform that strives to celebrate the
not so glamorous moments behind
every dream because let’s be honest if
this talk goes to show anything
it’s that the journey is where the magic
happens
my goal is to see more candidness and
authenticity on social media
in our conversations with others and
with ourselves
the platform could very well be a
disaster but it could also be a
transformational movement
so finally tip number 10 find
your purpose it doesn’t happen overnight
and i’ll admit i’m still not entirely
sure i figured out mine
but taking in all of your experiences
and finding a resounding theme
is a good start so getting back to the
initial question
how to get to the tedx stage i’ve shared
10 tips from my personal experience
on what i think landed me here today
because
there was no conscious strategy no
application filled out no sweet talking
someone on the board
someone just dm’d me with the invite so
to everyone in this audience or who
watches this video who dreams of being
on this side of the camera i hope this
talk inspires you to embark on a roller
coaster
journey and embrace all the highs and
lows that come with it
thank you for listening