Secrets Unlocking Your Lock Box To Live A More Joyful Life
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i was once told what happens in the dark
comes out in the light
always i want to invite you to close
your eyes
and imagine a box not a big box a box
with a lock on it
inside that box are the secrets that you
harbor the secrets that keep you sick
i encourage you to open that box and
inventory what’s in there
why do you think those secrets are there
they’re secrets you’ve never told
anyone and those particular secrets
hold you back from a joyful and
purposeful life
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the journal of personality and
psychology suggests that the average
human is harboring 13 secrets five of
which
they’ve never shared with anyone at all
psychology today lists the top 10
secrets
as those in which maybe you have extra
relational thoughts
thoughts about someone else desirous
thoughts about someone other than your
partner
maybe it’s sexual behavior pornography
things of that nature
lies when we do things to be deceptive
to others and we create an environment
that’s not based on truth
romantic desire for other people maybe
it’s someone you long for from afar
and you don’t share violation of trust
those fall into
stealing letting someone else’s secret
out maybe spying on someone’s phone
or their emails emotional infidelity
is a big one and it’s something where
you may not be having physical
infidelity but you’re having an
emotional relationship with someone
other than your partner
ambition and or goal maybe it’s a goal
that you’ve set that you don’t want to
tell anyone
and it’s something that’s so personal to
you that is you would feel so
uncomfortable sharing that goal
or ambition at a fear of judgment
family detail things you don’t tell your
family or maybe you don’t even talk
about certain family members because you
don’t want people to know about them
and lastly number 10 financial secrets
financial secrets are in the form of
hidden accounts
or maybe lying about your earnings lying
about a mortgage or an inheritance or
some other type of important document
why do we keep secrets out of fear
that’s one of the reasons we’re fearful
that if someone knew this one thing
about us
they wouldn’t like us maybe we wouldn’t
be accepted
judgment is another one we fear judgment
from other people
in terms of maybe we’ve made the wrong
decision that’s incongruent with their
belief system
rejection that’s a big one we fear
rejection from the people we love and
care about and that matter the most
we often fear rejection from people we
don’t know because we want
acceptance that’s a natural human need
shame shame is a big one
so the difference between shame and
guilt is guilt as i feel
sorry for something i want to apologize
for something i’ve done to you
shame is all about an inherent viewpoint
that there’s not a place on this planet
for you
self-loathing there’s a big difference
between guilt and shame
and shame is a powerful emotion it’s at
the root of most addictive behaviors
and then the impact your secrets will
have on other people like maybe if you
tell them
it’s gonna hurt someone else so that’s
number five
did you know that secrets keep us sick
they cause emotional unhealthiness
and physical unhealthiness you think
about this
if you struggle from anxiety or
depression any of those types of things
at the root of it is likely a secret
conversely on the physiological side
when we see
individuals with gastrointestinal issues
or
headaches those fibromyalgia those types
of things
you’re storing and harboring the emotion
around secrets and those secrets come
out
as i mentioned earlier what happens in
the dark comes out in the light
always and those secrets will find ways
to escape
if you don’t open your lock box and
they’ll come out in those manifestations
that often we then go and seek
other types of treatment for whether
it’s medicine
therapy those types of things so i
cannot stress enough
that the secrets you keep will come out
at some point
for men oftentimes those secrets don’t
come out into their late 40s
and it comes out in the form of a
midlife crisis that’s that’s the term we
use midlife crisis
for women it’s usually in your late 30s
for women we can’t keep it together long
enough but those secrets will come out
and they ultimately will be highly
destructive so the key to living a
joyful life
is to live untethered from those secrets
and to make sure that those secrets
don’t stay locked in your lock box
so when we unpack our lock box what
happens
we start to live a more congruent life
where our actions
our thoughts and our words all go
together
another benefit of unpacking your
secrets is that you can often realize
that maybe that secret i was harboring
and i had these anticipated fears of
what might happen if i let it out were
unfounded
and that you don’t have any problems
with the reveal of that big secret
another attribute of unpacking your lock
box
is that you realize that you’re free of
resistance or your own lack of
self-acceptance and
you realize you get to be the person you
were intended to be
there’s no judgment no resistance which
is an internal issue as we struggle
when we harbor those secrets and the
last thing is you you
find other people just like you people
that are in touch with their own lock
box that have opened it up that live
very authentic lives
to create a life richer in timbre
and experience i’m going to share with
you
one of my secrets it was a secret from
myself of sorts
and it was a secret that i harbored with
god
this is less about religion and more
about faith
2013 in the course of about 24 hours my
life blew apart the life i knew was not
the life i was living
and i had no idea i uncovered lies and
deception
almost overnight so a series of events
happened
just negative events that were happening
during this time as i was trying my best
to process what was going on
i was full of anxiety i didn’t really
know what to do i was scared
and for the first time in my life i
found myself doubting
everything around me who am i who are
these people around me
and is this real and as i went through
this life crisis that ultimately
revealed something bigger i
came home one day after a number of
different traumatic events
and i walked into my home and my house
was flooded
water going everywhere and i walked in
and i could feel
i could feel the anger and the rage
just escalating i was mad at god that’s
who i was mad at
i was mad at god because i felt like why
are you doing this to me
i feel like i’ve tried to be a good
person but continuously there are these
things that are happening to me and
they’re very negative
and they’re painful and i don’t know if
i can keep going through this this is
the most difficult thing i’ve ever had
to go through in my life
and as i got more and more angry and i
screamed a guttural scream
and i fell on my knees in about two
inches of water
screaming at god in a very colorful way
and telling him how i felt
i was angry and i felt something
really unusual happen i felt what felt
like a hand on the back of my neck
pick me up as i stood up to my feet
and i felt these words i didn’t hear
them i felt them
you’re going to be okay i’m trying to
show you something
and i answered aloud and i said well
you’ve got my attention
again more colorful language and it was
at that point
that i realized there’s some reason i
must go through this situation
and i must get real and be honest about
the secret i had from god because see
the real
secret was i didn’t want god to know i
was mad at him because i felt
like there would be retribution for that
and as i got more resolved about
everything was going on the faith came
out in me
and i realized that there was a reason i
was going through all of this and just
to be patient and go
and i let the world kind of carry me
through this particular difficult
process and ultimately it revealed
a very purposeful journey into what i do
today i’m forever grateful for that
difficult moment
and i’m forever grateful that i was able
to get real with myself
and open up that secret that i had
between me and god
my relationship with god today is a very
different one it’s one of gratitude
and joy i had to learn that i had to go
through that very difficult time
for a bigger life purpose to be revealed
i encourage you to open up your lock box
unpack it
and set yourself free from the very
things that are holding you back
from creating much joy and happiness
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secrets make us sick and often deprive
us of a joyful life
untether yourself unpack your lock box
be authentic change your mindset and go
and live
an amazing and purposeful life
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you