Learning How to Get What You Want
let me tell you a familiar story
it’s dinner time we’re at the table and
my son junior hasn’t eaten any of his
vegetables
and i’m like most moms i want him to eat
his vegetables in a reasonable amount of
time
without hiding him under his plate or
trying to feed him to the dog
so what do i do well first i have to
figure out
what do i want and i want him to eat his
vegetables
before bedtime then i have to position a
solution
to one of his problems now what’s one of
his problems
being his mom i can tell you for sure
one of his constant problems
is not getting all the ice cream he
wants so in this case
vegetables are going to become the
solution to his problem
of wanting ice cream and i say after
dinner
we get dessert
exciting right and i say junior
look your sisters finished their dinner
and now they’re eating ice cream now the
girls are in on it and they want their
little brother to grow up healthy and
strong
and eat his vegetables of course and so
i say girls
how’s your ice cream are you glad that
you ate that salad
and they say oh mommy it’s so good it’s
so yummy
junior hurry up eat your vegetables so
you can have ice cream with us
and i say junior can’t you see the
faster
you eat those vegetables the faster
you’re gonna get ice cream and i’m no
longer
nagging him instead i’m giving him a
path
to getting what he wants so how does
this work
the process comes from sales and you
might say
oh no thank you i’m not into sales
that’s not for me yes it is
we’re all in sales from ideas
to interviews we sell daily
now over the last two decades
of selling managing
running a sales program creating sales
competitions
and training i’ve analyzed thousands
of sales conversations and
just recently i actually joined a team
where we created a technology
that is able to analyze sales
conversations in bulk
just last semester we analyzed over
46 000 sales conversations
and through these sales conversations
we’ve been able to really hone
in on the sales process now over time
i’ve seen the sales process
help people to win business to get
promotions
get jobs but i’ve also seen it help my
own students
have better relationships with their
friends their family
and their significant other if you can
hone in and stick to a process that you
know
works you’re going to be on your way to
getting what you want
but then also building some confidence
along the way
so what’s the process right
the process is know what you want
be what they want and be prepared
to handle pushback so how does this work
for sales let’s break it down what do
you want
well you want to make a sale what does
the company want
the company wants to cut cost so how can
you be what they want
the solution to their problem well
fortunately
you sell a technology product that can
help the company to become more
efficient
and also to save at least 10 percent of
cost
and the company is hesitant and they say
how can we trust these numbers
but you’re ready for that and so you
clarify and you make sure you understand
the pushback that you’re getting and you
share
evidence data stories
testimonials from several customers
that you’ve recently been able to help
just in the last six months
to save 10 or even 20 percent
so you ask can you see how we can help
you
to save at least 10 percent in the next
six months
the company agrees and you’re on your
way to making that sale
now how can this work for you what if
you don’t sell that technology product
or what if what if you don’t have that
ice cream adoring sun like i do what if
you don’t even know what you want
well let’s break that down and you
guessed it
there’s a process for that too the
process is
align your values
your experience and your talent
to find direction values
what’s important to you experience
what have you done and talent
what are you good at it can help in some
of the toughest scenarios
like trying to find out what do you want
to get out of life
what do you want to do for a job and
even one of the hardest decisions of all
what do you want to make for dinner
right that’s a tough one and every day
every day you have to make that one now
let’s go ahead and illustrate this with
that example
of what we want to make for dinner let’s
start with value
i value using things up before they go
bad
so i’m gonna head over to the
refrigerator i’m gonna see what’s in
there and let’s say
i see some chicken some pasta and
cottage cheese so i’m gonna take that
out
experience i’ve learned over time that
sometimes
foods pair together and others they
don’t so i’m going to put that cottage
cheese back in the refrigerator
and talent i can heat these up add some
jarred sauce
and there’s dinner so we originally
created this process
in order to help people create their
brands online with social media
because they could post around that
purpose
but it can do so much more than that
i like to say yes to projects
i like to help people when they ask for
it
and i have a tendency to over commit
right hannah’s here in the front row she
can tell you she sees it all the time
but if you can identify your purpose
when a new project request comes in
you can look at it and say is this going
to get me on the path
to where i want to go or is this just
going to be
a waste of time and a distraction so
identifying that purpose
can help you to say no to projects
and it can help you in so many ways
so do yourself a favor before you go
into that next meeting
take 30 seconds and think about what do
you want to get out of that meeting
before you go into it and chances are
that meeting is going to be more
productive
now we’re going to talk about being what
they want
and i’m not saying give up who you are
this is really about framing and
positioning yourself
as the solution to the problem now you
might notice up here
you see a screen of cookies these are my
favorite cookies
but you can just imagine your own
favorite cookies up there
it’s important to remember when you are
going after what you want
it’s it’s tough but most people
they don’t care what you want they don’t
want to help you
get what you want they want what they
want
so how can you bring them over to your
side
well you’ve got to show them that
helping you
is really giving them what they want
companies do this all the time people
don’t buy
products they buy solutions to problems
they buy outcomes drivers are not just
buying
cars right they’re buying autonomy
and dependability and status during the
pandemic
the consumption of comfort foods has
gone up
we’re not buying cookies at the store
we’re buying
outcomes we’re buying solutions that
little slice
of happiness that ability to treat
ourself
after a tough situation or the crispy
sweetness
and enjoyment of that after a tough day
to really
take our mind off of the stress
so you might wonder how can we do this
how can we be
what they want
well you guessed it spoiler alert
there’s a process
for that too and the process is
udea now keep in mind when i’m not up
here
i’m a mom of three and i don’t get much
sleep so i’ve worked these around in
many combinations
and this is what i’ve come up with but i
think you’re actually going to remember
this
because instead of an idea it’s about
the person you’re talking to so it’s a
you dia
so when you’re going after what you want
to be
what they want first you have to
understand understand what is the
problem
that needs solving next dig
deep really understand why is this
problem important to the person
why does this problem need solving and
why does this problem need solving now
the next is evidence provide
data stories statistics
evidence to show that you are the
solution to the problem
that you’re the right fit for that job
that you should be the one
that they buy from and then finally
agree do they agree with you
do they agree that you are the solution
to the problem judea
if you can identify that problem and
really understand why it’s important
and get the agreement that you can solve
it
and of course that they want the problem
to be solved that’s another talk
in itself but if you can do those things
you’re going to be on your way
to getting what you want
next we’re going to talk about pushback
pushback is fun if you learn how to
handle
it properly you’ve got to
lean into objections lean into pushback
it’s it’s really difficult when we get
pushback because we often get defensive
or we want to run away so what happens
in a meeting
if you have an idea someone speaks up
and they say nope
that’s not going to work that’s not good
what do you do
do you withdraw from the group and stop
speaking up
do you find a reason to leave the group
all together
or do you defend your idea right away
there’s another option and in sales it’s
called a
wait for it process
process and you know what this process
should be very easy for you to remember
because we just talked about you dia and
now this is yuvia
now remember i am a mom of three and i
don’t get much sleep but this is what
you get
and i think you are gonna remember it so
when you’re getting pushback
first understand
really clarify and lean in to understand
what the true concern is usually it’s
not evident and there’s
layers so we have to try to understand
but naturally we have a knee-jerk
reaction and we want to be defensive and
we don’t listen
so you have to fight that it could be as
simple as just
asking why but i’m telling you
it takes a mindset shift
and you really have to work at it next
validate sales is all about helping
we’re on the same team you don’t have to
agree
with that objection with that pushback
but you should let them know that it’s
okay for them to feel
the way that they feel that they have a
right to feel that way
next evidence prove with data
story statistics testimonials what you
say to be true
and then finally agree do they agree
with you
are they no longer concerned about that
objection
and if they are it’s important to go
back
to you to start all over again
to see what it is that you missed now
objections can come at any time of
course they can come when you’re asking
for the sale and
they can come when you’re asking for
that promotion you’ve been wanting
but they can even come when you’re
walking in the door
one of my students jordan he was
interviewing for
a position and it wasn’t just any
interview
it was his perfect dream job interview
he was so excited he went to the
company’s website
at least a hundred times beforehand he
practiced
he walked in with his nice blue suit he
had his leather
portfolio with him and they took him
right away
as soon as he entered the hiring
manager’s office as soon as he walked in
the hiring manager stood up and he said
we don’t hire college students right out
of school
and i’m not planning to i just want you
to know that
i’m really just taking this meeting
as a favor to a friend so just so we’re
on the same page
coming in right that’s really hard
that’s really hard to handle
going in but you know what jordan
he remembered his training and he stayed
calm
and he went to understand and he said oh
yeah
why is that why don’t you hire right out
of college
and the hiring manager went on to say
look we don’t do it because we hired a
student out of college
he didn’t have experience he needed too
much training we couldn’t do that we’re
a small company
so jordan validated he said you know
what i can certainly understand
why you wouldn’t want to hire somebody
who doesn’t have experience
it makes perfect sense you’re a startup
you have so many other things to do
and here’s the deal you can’t argue with
somebody who’s not arguing back
right the hiring manager felt like
jordan got the message
and they continued the conversation this
gave
jordan that opening to talk about his
experience
he had internships he was the president
of the sales team
he had competed nationally and
internationally where he was ranked
he had done hundreds of role plays now
the manager was
surprised he didn’t even know that you
could study sales while you were in
college
and jordan went in for agreement
he said can you see
that i have experience that i’m going to
hit the ground running
the hiring manager did agree and he
hired jordan
and not only that he gave
jordan two promotions just within
the first year of working there
uvia it’s a simple process
and if you use it i hope that you can
lean into pushback
and see the opportunity in that
hesitation
today we talked about learning how to
get what you want
know what you want be what they want
and be prepared to handle pushback
so now the only thing left to figure out
are you ready to get what you want
thank you