What baby boomers can learn from millennials at work and vice versa Chip Conley
It was my third day on the job
at a hot Silicon Valley start-up
in early 2013.
I was twice the age
of the dozen engineers in the room.
I’d been brought in to the company
because I was a seasoned
expert in my field,
but in this particular room,
I felt like a newbie amongst
the tech geniuses.
I was listening to them talk
and thinking that the best thing
I could do was be invisible.
And then suddenly, the 25-year-old
wizard leading the meeting stared at me
and asked, “If you shipped a feature
and no one used it,
did it really ship?”
(Laughter)
“Ship a feature”?
In that moment, Chip knew
he was in deep ship.
(Laughter)
I had no idea what he was talking about.
I just sat there awkwardly,
and mercifully, he moved on
to someone else.
I slid down in my chair,
and I couldn’t wait
for that meeting to end.
That was my introduction to Airbnb.
I was asked and invited
by the three millennial cofounders
to join their company
to help them take
their fast-growing tech start-up
and turn it into a global
hospitality brand,
as well as to be the in-house
mentor for CEO Brian Chesky.
Now, I’d spent from age 26 to 52
being a boutique hotel entrepreneur,
and so I guess I’d learned
a few things along the way
and accumulated
some hospitality knowledge.
But after my first week,
I realized that the brave new
home-sharing world
didn’t need much of my old-school
bricks-and-mortar hotel insights.
A stark reality rocked me:
What do I have to offer?
I’d never been in a tech company before.
Five and a half years ago, I had never
heard of the “sharing economy,”
nor did I have an Uber
or Lyft app on my phone.
This was not my natural habitat.
So, I decided at that moment
that I could either run for the hills,
or cast judgment on these young geniuses,
or instead, turn the judgment
into curiosity
and actually see if I could match
my wise eyes with their fresh eyes.
I fancied myself a modern Margaret Mead
amongst the millennials,
and I quickly learned that I had
as much to offer them
as they did to me.
The more I’ve seen and learned
about our respective generations,
the more I realize that we often
don’t trust each other enough
to actually share our respective wisdom.
We may share a border,
but we don’t necessarily trust
each other enough
to share that respective wisdom.
I believe, looking at
the modern workplace,
that the trade agreement of our time
is opening up these intergenerational
pipelines of wisdom
so that we can all learn from each other.
Almost 40 percent of us
in the United States
have a boss that’s younger than us,
and that number is growing quickly.
Power is cascading to the young
like never before
because of our increasing reliance on DQ:
digital intelligence.
We’re seeing young founders
of companies in their early 20s
scale them up to global giants
by the time they get to 30,
and yet, we expect
these young digital leaders
to somehow miraculously embody
the relationship wisdoms
we older workers
have had decades to learn.
It’s hard to microwave
your emotional intelligence.
There’s ample evidence that gender-
and ethnically diverse companies
are more effective.
But what about age?
This is a very important question,
because for the first time ever,
we have five generations in the workplace
at the same time, unintentionally.
Maybe it’s time we got
a little more intentional
about how we work collectively.
There have been a number
of European studies
that have shown that age-diverse teams
are more effective and successful.
So why is that only eight percent
of the companies
that have a diversity
and inclusion program
have actually expanded that strategy
to include age as just as important
of a demographic as gender or race?
Maybe they didn’t get the memo:
the world is getting older!
One of the paradoxes of our time
is that baby boomers are more vibrant
and healthy longer into life,
we’re actually working later into life,
and yet we’re feeling
less and less relevant.
Some of us feel like a carton
of milk – an old carton of milk –
with an expiration date stamped
on our wrinkled foreheads.
For many of us in midlife,
this isn’t just a feeling,
it is a harsh reality, when we suddenly
lose our job and the phone stops ringing.
For many of us, justifiably, we worry
that people see our experience
as a liability, not an asset.
You’ve heard of the old phrase –
or maybe the relatively new phrase –
“Sixty is the new forty, physically.”
Right?
When it comes to power
in the workplace today,
30 is the new 50.
All right, well, this is all
pretty exciting, right?
(Laughter)
Truthfully, power is moving
10 years younger.
We’re all going to live 10 years longer.
Do the math.
Society has created a new
20-year irrelevancy gap.
Midlife used to be 45 to 65,
but I would suggest it now stretches
into a midlife marathon 40 years long,
from 35 to 75.
But wait – there is a bright spot.
Why is it that we actually get smarter
and wiser about our humanity as we age?
Our physical peak may be our 20s,
our financial and salary peak
may be age 50,
but our emotional peak
is in midlife and beyond,
because we have developed pattern
recognition about ourselves and others.
So how can we get companies
to tap into that wisdom
of the midlife folks,
just as they nurture their digital
young geniuses as well?
The most successful companies
today and in the future
will actually learn how to create
a powerful alchemy of the two.
Here’s how the alchemy
worked for me at Airbnb:
I was assigned a young, smart partner,
who helped me develop
a hospitality department.
Early on, Laura Hughes could see
that I was a little lost in this habitat,
so she often sat
right next to me in meetings
so she could be my tech translator,
and I could write her notes and she
could tell me, “That’s what that means.”
Laura was 27 years old,
she’d worked for Google for four years
and then for a year and a half
at Airbnb when I met her.
Like many of her millennial cohorts,
she had actually grown into
a managerial role
before she’d gotten any formal
leadership training.
I don’t care if you’re
in the B-to-B world,
the B-to-C world, the C-to-C world
or the A-to-Z world,
business is fundamentally H-to-H:
human to human.
And yet, Laura’s approach to leadership
was really formed
in the technocratic world,
and it was purely metric driven.
One of the things she said to me
in the first few months was,
“I love the fact that your
approach to leadership
is to create a compelling vision
that becomes a North Star for us.”
Now, my fact knowledge,
as in, how many rooms a maid cleans
in an eight-hour shift,
might not be all that important
in a home-sharing world.
My process knowledge
of “How do you get things done?”
based upon understanding the underlying
motivations of everybody in the room,
was incredibly valuable,
in a company where most people didn’t have
a lot of organizational experience.
As I spent more time at Airbnb,
I realized it’s possible
a new kind of elder was emerging
in the workplace.
Not the elder of the past, who actually
was regarded with reverence.
No, what is striking about the modern
elder is their relevance,
their ability to use timeless wisdom
and apply it to modern-day problems.
Maybe it’s time we actually valued wisdom
as much as we do disruption.
And maybe it’s time –
not just maybe, it is time –
for us to definitely reclaim
the word “elder”
and give it a modern twist.
The modern elder is as much an intern
as they are a mentor,
because they realize, in a world
that is changing so quickly,
their beginners' mind and their catalytic
curiosity is a life-affirming elixir,
not just for themselves
but for everyone around them.
Intergenerational improv has been known
in music and the arts:
think Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga
or Wynton Marsalis
and the Young Stars of Jazz.
This kind of riffing in the business world
is often called “mutual mentorship”:
millennial DQ for Gen X and boomer EQ.
I got to experience that kind of
intergenerational reciprocity with Laura
and our stellar data science team
when we were actually
remaking and evolving
the Airbnb peer-to-peer review system,
using Laura’s analytical mind
and my human-centered intuition.
With that perfect alchemy
of algorithm and people wisdom,
we were able to create
and instantaneous feedback loop
that helped our hosts better understand
the needs of our guests.
High tech meets high touch.
At Airbnb, I also learned
as a modern elder
that my role was to intern publicly
and mentor privately.
Search engines are brilliant
at giving you an answer,
but a wise, sage guide can offer you
just the right question.
Google does not understand,
at least not yet,
nuance like a finely attuned
human heart and mind.
Over time,
to my surprise,
dozens and dozens of young employees
at Airbnb sought me out
for private mentoring sessions.
But in reality, we were often
just mentoring each other.
In sum, CEO Brian Chesky brought me in
for my industry knowledge,
but what I really offered
was my well-earned wisdom.
Maybe it’s time we retire the term
“knowledge worker”
and replaced it with “wisdom worker.”
We have five generations
in the workplace today,
and we can operate like
separate isolationist countries,
or we can actually start to find a way
to bridge these generational borders.
And it’s time for us to actually look
at how to change up the physics of wisdom
so it actually flows in both directions,
from old to young and from young to old.
How can you apply this in your own life?
Personally, who can you reach out to
to create a mutual
mentorship relationship?
And organizationally,
how can you create the conditions
to foster an intergenerational
flow of wisdom?
This is the new sharing economy.
Thank you.
(Applause)