Growing Up With an Undiagnosed Learning Disability
imagine growing up your entire childhood
with an undiagnosed learning deficiency
imagine struggling every waking minute
to remember what question you asked
just to realize you never even asked a
question
imagine listening to a 30-minute lecture
to not hear a single word your teacher
just said
imagine working to pass a test for five
hours
that your best friend studied for 15
minutes before it began
just to once again be slapped across the
face with failure
imagine what it’s like to know there’s a
problem but everybody ignores you
i grew up as a smart quiet girl in
elementary school
i was never rude i never asked questions
and i always did my work i would often
sit in the back of the classroom and
just stare off at the whiteboard
my teachers applauded me for being so
well behaved they often marked me as
mature for my age
all of my teachers ignored that maybe it
wasn’t maturity but confusion
glossed over by the social construct
that girls need to be polite respectful
and all-knowing
while boys are allowed to get away with
being rowdy
because from a young age girls are told
to be obedient
adhd and add often fly under the radar
as opposed to boys who are allowed to
behave as they want which leads for an
easier time spotting disabilities
since no teacher ever noticed anything
off about my learning habits
i had to teach myself how to process the
information given to me
i subconsciously began to learn new
study skills and i adapted them to my
own needs
i became a flashcard queen that was the
only way i could remember anything
even though i learned a few tricks and
tips to help me along the way
it wasn’t enough i never understood why
i spent hours after school and my
homework when all of my friends had
finished
in class how did they have time for that
i worked and studied harder than most
people i knew but my grades were still
suffering
by the time 8th grade hit i dreaded
class i was so scared i was going to get
in trouble for not knowing the answer to
a question
the problems grew bigger and bigger and
school became the main source of my
anxiety
ninth grade was the first time a teacher
noticed anything abnormal about my
learning habits
he asked me to stay after class and talk
to him about why i was struggling so
much
together we came up with a plan to help
me succeed in his class
and that was the final catalyst for my
family and me deciding
that i needed to get tested for adhd add
and other learning disabilities
that summer i spent over 72 hours with
her neuropsychologist
doing tests and activities that would
help her figure out what problems i was
facing
when the diagnosis came back as the
inattentive type of adhd
along with a few other processing issues
a huge weight was lifted off of my
shoulders
i was going to be able to work
proactively to solve the problems i was
facing the next year
i went to the administration at my
school to request a 504.
what a 504 is is a legal document that
provides accommodations
for students with different types of
disabilities my educational therapist
and the neuropsychologist that did my
testing both advocated for me to get one
i needed help in school and this was the
only way i was going to get that
in the first meeting i went to my family
and i
brought the report and diagnosis for the
administration to read through
along with my grades to show how i was
struggling with testing
the fact that i was failing all of my
tests had a written report on my
specific adhd
was suffering severe anxiety due to
school
and spent over triple the time on my
work than an average student
was not enough for them to give me the
very few accommodations i was asking for
instead i was told that i was too smart
to need a 504
and in order to acquire one i would need
to start failing all of my classes
i was absolutely shocked and taken aback
by that
how could i be penalized for something
that i worked hard for
my family and i pushed tirelessly for
the team of administrators just to hear
me out
meeting after meeting no one would
listen by the time of my last meeting my
grades were severely suffering
the added stress of trying to achieve
basic educational rights
was taking a huge toll on me mentally
finally my educational therapist came to
our last meeting
and with her my parents a few teachers
and a counselor all standing behind me
the administration decided that i was
deserving of a 504 after all
after 16 years i was finally given the
help that i needed
i’ve been working at an educational
disadvantage for most of my life
if my teachers had just taken the time
to truly watch me
and remove those preconceived notions
that young girls are impervious to any
type of non-visible learning disability
i would have had a much smoother time in
the school system
learning to work with what i was given
has helped shape me into the hard
working person i am now
i’m grateful i was i learned a work
ethic from a young age
but i’m also extremely resentful that
the schools were so unmotivated to help
me and other students like me succeed
it is absolutely critical that parents
and teachers are hyper aware
of any challenges or unusual behaviors
students are facing
no child should go the majority of their
school career without knowing what’s
wrong
it’s an alienating feeling and it can be
easily avoided
it’s most important students listen to
themselves do not let anyone tell you
what you feel
you know yourself better than anyone
else understand that no matter how hard
school making friends or even sitting
still is
you’ll eventually overcome those
barriers and become the happiest version
of yourself
take your struggles and turn them into
something positive
thank you