Why paternity leave benefits everyone The Way We Work a TED series
Transcriber: Leslie Gauthier
Reviewer:
I remember the day.
My wife was three months pregnant,
and I knew that I wanted to take time off.
But when I walked in to ask my boss,
I was so nervous.
I was about to ask
for seven months of paternity leave,
and I just didn’t know
how my boss would react to that.
[The Way We Work]
Like most men in Japan,
I grew up being told that masculinity
is supposed to look a certain way.
You’re supposed to be stoic and strong,
dominant and in control;
the breadwinner for your family.
But when I met my wife,
she challenged me on that.
She pushed me on thinking that men
should always pay for dates
and assuming that women
should always do the childcare.
Japan offers both mothers and fathers
12 months of paid parental leave.
It’s been ranked number one in the world
in terms of length and compensation
for paternity leave.
But here’s the crazy thing.
In 2020, only about seven percent
of fathers took it.
And of that seven percent,
three quarters
took a leave of two weeks or less.
With pressure at work,
most Japanese men just aren’t at home
during this pivotal time.
And that’s a shame,
because paternity leave –
it benefits everyone.
Here is why normalizing it
is so important.
I believe deeply in gender equality.
I took my wife’s last name
and even wrote a book about it,
and still I was terrified
asking for paternity leave.
I’d heard of bosses denying the request
or questioning
their employees’ masculinity.
I was scared that in asking for time off,
I might be replaced or left behind.
But my boss –
he accepted my request right away,
which made me feel so valued,
and he let me focus
on what was important:
my family.
I can’t describe how much joy I got
seeing my newborn son each day.
I especially loved
my early morning shift with him
so his mom could sleep in.
When he was a newborn,
we’d just cuddle on the couch,
but when he got a little bigger,
he became my best workout buddy
as a cheerleader during
my morning runs in his stroller
or as a human dumbbell
for squats and biceps curls.
I feel so close to my son now.
And it’s not just me.
Men who take paternity leave experience
a stronger bond with their babies.
Research shows that the longer
the paternity leave,
the more engaged the father is
in the first few years of a child’s life.
I was shocked to learn
that over half of all US fathers
report feeling dissatisfied
with the amount of time
they spend with their children.
Paternity leave is a chance
to change that.
My relationship with my wife
also deepened on my leave.
We went on a walk together every day,
and I became a better cook and cleaner
because I was able to spend
more time on household duties,
which made her happy.
In a McKinsey and Company survey,
90 percent of fathers
who took paternity leave said
it improved their relationship, too.
This happens along a few
different dimensions.
First, because you gain
a whole new respect
for what’s involved
in childcare and housework,
and it makes you step up
and take on more.
And by being home,
you’re providing emotional support.
Statistics show that when
a mother’s partner is involved,
especially in the first
few weeks after birth,
it reduces the risk of postpartum
depression significantly.
But this is really just the start,
because paternity leave
is also good for business.
Paternity leave can have a profound impact
on gender equality in the workforce.
There’s an inherent imbalance
if women take childcare leave
and men don’t.
Working mothers are often juggling
two full-time jobs:
one at work and one at home.
Many don’t return to the workforce
or decide to take reduced roles.
By taking paternity leave,
men can give women more options
and even boost their ability
to rise into leadership roles.
A study in Sweden showed
that for every month of parental leave
taken by the father,
the mother’s earnings increased
by approximately seven percent.
It’s interesting to note that 90 percent
of female students in Japan say
they’d want their future partner
to take parental leave,
and nearly 80 percent of men
entering the workforce here –
and I suspect in other countries, too –
say they want to take paternity leave.
For employers to have that open,
inclusive culture
where paternity leave is respected,
that can help companies attract
and retain the best talent.
Workers are increasingly choosing
the companies based on the culture.
This is a space where any company
can give themselves a boost.
I’ve been back at my job
for about three months now,
and I can already tell you
I feel so much more productive
and very focused
and always looking for ways
to be more efficient
so I can get home to my family.
I’ve heard this from many mothers
coming back from maternity leave too.
And studies confirm:
80 percent of companies
that offer paid family leave
report a positive impact on morale,
and 70 percent notice
a boost in productivity.
It’s a positive for any company,
and that brings me to my final point.
Paternity leave –
it’s good for society.
Paternity leave is one of the big
steps we can make
in giving partners the opportunity
to share the work
both at home and at work.
It’s one of our best bets
to bridge the gender gap overall.
Research shows that when
that gender gap gets smaller,
people report higher life satisfaction.
Iceland, Norway and Finland
ranked top three
in the Global Gender Gap Index,
and over 70 percent of fathers
take paternity leave.
And if you take a look at their ranking
in the World Happiness Report,
they’re very, very high.
This might be a coincidence, but …
I don’t think so.
That freedom to be yourself
and make choices
without gender expectations,
it feels really good.
We live in a patriarchy.
And what I’ve realized is that the same
world that systematically favors men,
it’s also trapping us in a cage.
We need more countries to set up systems
that allow all parents
to take paid childcare leave
To give everyone new options,
we need to build a culture
that encourages
and values men as caretakers,
because we can do it too.