A strong mindset for a life without resentment
27 june 2010
we are on the starting gate of the world
motocross
championship series my mechanic is on my
right
he give me some last advice one very
important thing i need to make a quick
start is crucial for the rest of my race
15 second on the billboard five seconds
i hit the gas to get drops i come out in
fifth position
quickly i am overtaken by some other
competitors that are more experienced
than me
but i find myself in a very nice eight
position
i passed front of the pit lane my
mechanics that tell me on the pit board
keep going continue like that
unlike the other time i was riding like
i was flying over the track
i was riding smooth clean just perfect
and i arrived on this fateful jump
a very difficult jump with a lot of
lines a lot of rats
due to the sandy tracks in latvia i take
the bump
the bike threw me out on the front i
land on my back and i feel a big crack
in my lower back directly i know my legs
doesn’t respond anymore
i am paraplegic in one second
i see my entire carrier before my eyes
and i am thinking all of his sacrifice
all of his suffering
love is training during the season and i
said what
all of this for what for being
paraplegic for the rest of my life
luckily i’m being taken off the
racetrack
they bring me directly to the hospital
in latvia
my parents arrived my father first
question
he asked me axel how you feeling do you
feel something
i looked my dad and i told him you know
dad i can’t feel my legs
i am paraplegic he looked at me
and told me you know axel this is your
grand prix
you have to win it this is a grand prix
of your life some of them make it
through you have to fight you cannot be
second
axel this is the fight of your life wow
i look at him and answer you know dad
you know me
i will do everything in my power to make
it through but i will fight until the
end
my mom was just next to him he took her
on the side because she was crying
my mechanic asked me i was i tell him
that my back hurt from the surgery plate
but i still don’t feel my legs
after three days i flew i flew back to
france
by private jets luckily i had a private
jets one time in my life
maybe the last and i am transferred
directly
in hospital in lille and the next
morning the surgeon comes in my room
with all the doctor to see me
he explained me the situation the detail
of my injury
and my first question was sample
i asked him doctor will i be able to
walk again in my life
his own word is simple as well he said
he said mr luther your spine cold
is badly body damaged we can’t know for
sure but one thing is crucial
is we have to do surgery again to
stabilize all the spine cold and
decompress your edema
an operation schedule in three days
three days later
they bring me at the medical block and i
am
i am on the bed ready to have another
intervention
i am so stressful after this operation
i am transfer in the rehabilitation
center basically
called les pois a center that i know
well
because i already went there four years
ago for ligament to my knee
when i arrived i have a completely new
room wheelchair accessible
i feel good i really feel comfortable
the doctor in charge of the
rehabilitation center comes in my room
with gail my future physiotherapist
both of them explained me the situation
and how it will go
after three days we start the recovery
with gail
and we are starting by a sample exercise
move from the wheelchair over the
therapy table
an easy exercise for you but very
difficult for a publishing person
without his habs
gail explained me how to do it it’s
tricky but after 10 times i find the way
that i found
i found a way to do it then we go on a
second exercise
this time gail asked me to sit up
against the back of the chair
she asked me to cross my arm and she
lowers the back of the chair
at this time i am thinking why does she
want me work sitting down
because i want to stand up quickly as
possible i want to walk again
but i don’t say anything because i tell
myself she has more experience than me
so i put my hands off the table and
there
i fall yeah i fall
i couldn’t even sit still without my ant
support can you imagine that
at this moment i thought wait axel you
won’t work again
you understand quickly as possible and
you cannot sit on this chair that’s
crazy
i saw i thought it’s going to be a very
very long way and you know
in your life if you want to target the
moon you have to target the star before
but you have to taking thing
step by step
marrow constriction i went through a
different stage
hoping despair still hoping
accepting the change in my new life
but one thing is sure is i woke up every
morning for one thing
to walk again my focus reduced only that
to work
again i was trying to instill deep down
my
subconsciousness this image to see me
stand standing up this image was for me
in my mind
like real real like i can’t touch it
real like i can feel it
i knew if i thought about it 24 hours
each day
and if i remain feastful to this montana
image
one day it was going to come true
of course i don’t think like hey today
i’m going to work again no
i used moment of relaxation moment of
summoners to work
mentally 80 of my recovery
has been mentally
as the week went by i see progress
i see that i am able to work more and
more
and after a few sessions gail
tells me okay excel from now we are
going to get you up
but this time not in the water but in
the real ground
i tell to gail okay but do you know that
i lost 80 percent of my muscles
but you all get me up between the bars
on the real ground
you’re crazy she said yes of course but
for that
we have to build special braces that
would hold
my feet in 90 degrees in order to be
able to balance
so i called the father of one of my
friends who is an autopotist
and we are trying to think about special
braces
he takes the molds the measurement and
after three weeks in bringing the braces
i try them and being careful do not have
any confusion
i go with my wheelchair front of the
parallel bar with gail
front of me in case if i fall down one
two three i’m going for it and puff i
can stand up
i can stand up with a lot of strength in
my arm
i can do it i can hold it and after a
few sessions i start to be able to work
my balance
between the bars and do small step and
then two
and then and make one-way trip
but after two years i’m not making
progress anymore
the doctor is starting to talk about my
release i can continue the
rehabilitation but this time
outside of the center we set up a date
for my release and at this time i ask
myself about the future
what next maybe go back to school
i’m just 20 years old our continuous
sports sport
is all my life i have always been a
sportsman
so i decide to join a disabled stream
club
to prepare my release because sometimes
the show can be quite brutal to be back
in the real world
i mean in the center we are always
pampered by the nurse
everyone has on the cap and as soon as
you have a problem
someone comes to help you so i joined
this club
where i go stream every saturday we are
now
three days before my release and that
time i tell myself
okay excel this time i want to stand up
but with the crutches
i have nothing to lose i asked gail if i
could
she talked about it to the doctor he
accept
i go between the bars with gail always
safe behind me if i fall down
one two three i take the speed and here
we go
puff i can stand up i can stand up and i
feel that i could be autonomous with
that
so right away we ask the doctor to push
back marie’s date
he decides to push back the real date of
three months
three month later without the help of
gail
i managed to stand up alone with the
crutches
and to even work small step and then two
entry
and walking like 20 meters but you know
be careful when i say walking is like
walking like a robo
but i can do it you know and two years
ago when i arrived
lying on the bed at the center i said to
myself ok excel if you get out from this
down wheelchair it will be the most
beautiful victory in your life
as soon as i left the recovery
i love myself the first challenge
reach my parents car on the parking by
walking
about 50 meters and where they were like
okay excel we know you can walk go in
your wheelchair
don’t take any risk right now that you
finally get out of the center
but when i am on this path to get to the
car many things come to my mind
i realized that i have on the cab for my
entire life
i will have to adapt myself in any kind
of situation
and now that’s the big question
how to make sense in this new life
what will make me go out of the bed
every morning
what will be my life goal everyone have
a life goal big or small but if you
don’t have any life goal
why get out of the bed it doesn’t make
it doesn’t make sense
so first step find out if i can drive a
cow despite my disability
and now naturally when you search
something what are you doing you go on
so hi google can i drive a car with a
paraplegic on the cap
i see there is some special hand control
to drive a car
good news i will be able to go anywhere
by myself
then i tap handicap sports and i
discover an outlet who inspire me
enormously oscar pistorius
an outlet that you should know not by
his performance but for what he did
for his dude for rules don’t he killed
his wife
yeah very bad way but when i saw this
outlet make the final at the olympics
while his double amputee i tell myself
okay excel
despite my disability i can be a
champion again
despite what happened to me i can
rebuild myself
and when i was a kid i had also a dream
make the dark car with the motorbike the
rally the car
i don’t know if you know the rally the
car but the dakar is the hardest trolley
in the world more than ten thousand
kilometers in 15 days
more than eight hour racing per day in
extreme condition
as a normal person if you finish this
trailer it’s already amazing
so i said to myself okay excel motorbike
it’s over
but why not realize this dream not on
two-wheel but on four-wheel drive
with the car in 2018 i decided to set up
the project
hashtag you can 2020 a project that made
a lot of sense to me to prove
behind the impossible there is a
possible
demonstrate wherever you are personal
wheelchair
whether you are teenager um your ct or
ceo
manager we can all have a weak moment in
our life
but we can all find a way to boost back
the 17th january 2020
after 15-day racing and extremely
condition
we crossed the finish line of the dakar
i especially
i especially become the first disabled
person
in the world to win a category in a
dakar
with the normal person but today
this victory is not my most beautiful
victory in my life
today my most beautiful victory of my
life is that
after 10 years even if the doctor tells
me i will stay in a wheelchair for my
entire life
even if i lost 80 percent of my muscles
today i can walk again
with two crutches one two three
kilometers
and also with one coaches
today i am autonomous i can drive a car
i can ride a bike i can
ride a motorbike don’t tell that to my
mom i think she killed me
but anyway i can do a lot of different
activity but i have to adapt myself in
any kind of situation
now let’s talk about resilience
what i am trying to share on daily basis
is that life can be tough but generous
at the same time
i always trusted life and had faith in
myself
i learned resilience and resilience
taught me how to accept the situation
accepting the situation allowed me to
continue moving forward
instead of giving up in order to restore
meaning to my life and get back in the
motion
and to to be back in the motion uh
rather than stay at home but
be aware accepting has nothing to do
with giving up
in 10 years i will walk again
i won’t be disabled anymore you know you
normal person
tend to forget this simple real moment
of life
like just running dancing
jumping walking hand in hand you know
this happiness
don’t forget this happiness of life of
each of us
thank you