Go the Distance Be a Life Enthusiast
[Music]
[Applause]
can you guys hear me well yeah
i’m feeling feeling pretty good okay
yeah cool you know what that means right
you hearing this in this moment means
that you are
existing you have an opportunity
that trillions of people do not have
do you wish to go the distance with it
to bring your life to the table
because i know for a fact i didn’t think
about being existing
i just so happen to be
so i want you to take a moment right now
to get into your body
welcome to tedx women here i am my name
is joy zavada
well legally lauren but essentially joy
but we’ll
we’ll get into that today i want to
share with you
my story my story of how
i got into my body to find my joy
and to become a life enthusiast you guys
ready for this
yes call me joy so you see this little
gal right here
right there that is me and if i were to
look at myself at that age and go up to
myself
and say hey one day you’re going to be
public speaking
and you’re going to be doing these races
and you’re going to be you know an
artist i would just look at myself
and walk away i wouldn’t believe it
and it’s because there’s messages that
were given to me from my childhood
that stopped me from believing in myself
and the value of what i had to bring to
this earth
so today i want to share this with you
there were a few lines that i was told
that really did hinder me from
being to where i’m at today but it but
in turn
what it did was make me who i am today
so
there was an experience in first grade
there’s something about putting my hand
out the window
as i was going home from the bus after a
day of school
it was just one of my favorite things to
do just to peer out the window and to
experience it
and if you guys know me today you always
see me with my head out the window
it’s just it’s a thing for me so here i
was as a young girl
struggling to get the window down and in
my mind i’m like
i just have to it’s like first day of
spring i just wanted to feel the fresh
air so what do i do
i i peep over and i look to the little
girl in front of me and i’m like hey
can you please help me put down my
window she ignores me
i’m like okay well persistence i’m gonna
try this again
excuse me can you please help me put
down my window
she ignores me again i’m like hot damn
okay i see you
so i try one more time excuse me
the boy sitting next to her turns around
and looks me in the face and he says
don’t you ever speak again
and punches me in the face
and as i laid back in defeat
with streams of scarlet going down my
face
that delivered a powerful message to me
do not speak if i
wanted something if i felt like i needed
help with something that meant that it
would cause me pain
so i changed schools you know it
happened just so happened to be i
already struggled with speaking as it is
i had a
pretty severe outer processing disorder
and i just it was already
that was already a thing so a few years
later
about two as i was in school
i went up to my teacher to grab a ball
at her feet
and as i went down and picked it up and
smiled at my teacher
she looked at me and she said you know
you would be way prettier if you never
smiled
in fact you would age better
so what did i do i believe that as truth
for my life
and you see the progression after that
of me believing that
my essence shouldn’t fill a room
this these messages specifically started
to take hold in my being i started to
believe that i should not
shine and this contributed to what i
would become in my teenage years
saying that your appearance will
determine the wellness of your life
that you are some of the messages like
you know you’re just
a girl i remember
feeling so defeated in my existence i
was 17 years old
i was sitting in this hallway and i was
i was facing a friend and it just so
happened to be
one of the longest nights of my life and
i was facing him and here we were in
this in this little hallway
and the sun was just coming up
and it was hitting the tops of the
houses and i exhaled the smoke out of my
lungs i looked at him
and i knew i knew that if i did not
leave this place in my existence i would
not be here today
and i felt something beyond me say
this is not the life i have for you
so i look to my friend who’s no longer
with us
and i i got in that car that day
and i i left and there was something
that that belief started trickling into
my body i’m like i have
nothing all my relationships are severed
i feel like i have nothing to attribute
to the world
all i knew how to do was run guys that’s
all i knew how to do so i started
running
i would run 8 to 15 miles a day that’s
all i had that i felt like i could do
and then something started changing for
me
getting in my body something changed
it started changing the way that i
thought about my life
it started changing my voice i started
using my voice in a way that i hadn’t
before
and what did that lead to for me
well i ended up meeting someone
and that person actually got me into out
of
my metron into something new that i’ve
never experienced in my life
i started rapping and making music and
going out to new york city i was still
in high school
i’m a scranton native so just being out
there and experiencing the world from a
different way
i was told my whole existence
that the only way that i’d have
something to contribute to this world
is through higher education and this to
me didn’t feel right it didn’t feel
authentic for me
but i still went along with it but as i
continued
to use my voice and get empowered in my
body i recognized that there was
something more that i was longing for
than just myself
i was looking for my community
there was one day that i was a freshman
in college
and it was a tough day for me i was like
wow i don’t know why i’m in school i was
just told i should be in school
but here i am i’m here and i was in this
coffee house i just wanted to be outside
of myself
and there’s this girl sitting in the
corner
right over there taking photos hi baby
um she looks at me
and she says hey
i like your boots i’m like
hey i like your outfit so we start
talking
and she looks at me and she asks
what is your vision and i was like
finally someone that’s like interested
in this stuff okay what’s my vision
we sit down we talk and immediately that
day we realize that we’re meant to be in
each other’s lives
a week later what do i do but i’m
involved with him in a
coffee shop ministry i’m doing what i
feel passionate about
i start seeing that this is what i have
to offer and to bring to the world
it’s not about me i’ve never even
thought to be existing i just so happen
to be and
what i was actually looking for was
community of people
that wanted to live the same way that i
did
so when you find your people you find
your purpose
but first you have to bring it back to
yourself
because i didn’t know that until i got
into my body and i recognized this
you are unique no one has your body is
only you that gets to live inside of
your existence
you like to watch movies right
make your life a movie why not like this
is your story
no one else gets to live in your skin
but you
but you know having your body and voice
using that is power
it’s powerful my friend looking at me
and saying
hey i like your boots
change my existence she used what she
owned that day
people using what they own will change
an environment
and cultivate a culture you i look to
the people
to that guy that that boy that punched
me in the face
and i recognized that that was
generational
someone looked at him and said you do
not speak you should not speak and
sealed it with a punch to the face these
things that we’re dealing with
are generational and we have an
opportunity
to do the work that our ancestors didn’t
have the strength to do
we get to mend the bridges that have
been burned and recognized that
we are all the same
there’s no manual on how to live life
the best way we’re all just trying to
figure this thing out i just so happen
to pop out of a womb
one day i mean thanks here we all are
as people existing
that’s pretty cool so history calls upon
us to be authentically who we
are because only us doing that
can we step into what we have to bring
to our community
you look to an ecosystem and i’m pretty
sure
precipitation doesn’t look to
evaporation it’s like oh i’m jealous of
you i wish i could be you
they all have unique parts to bring to
the table that only they can do
now as i was experiencing this as truth
for my life
there was something that happened when i
was around my people
and it tested me because it was during
this time
that i ended up in the grips of an
abusive relationship
so as i was doing the work to start
healing
and seeing that this is what is right
for me
life went like this to test if i
actually believe that as truth
so as i got dragged out of that house
and thrown into the car and transported
to
the places that i was before
it took some time for me to fight for
myself
and those states of desperation
i grappled on to hope for something that
i had value to bring so i ended up going
back to school
and i got an internship and you know i
was doing this thing but it didn’t feel
right to me or just kind of
out of a need of necessity to feel like
i’m alive as a human being
because my body was no longer my own my
voice was suppressed and i no longer had
my people
but then one day
i finally had the strength to get out of
that relationship
and i finally had the strength to go see
my friends which
was traumatic to think about seeing my
friends
i would get told that if i were to see
them
that terrible things would happen so i
finally have the strength to go
and be around my people and as i go to
them they
welcome me with open arms
and when i tell them what had just
happened in my life
they look at me and they’re like well we
need to go on an adventure
i’m like you’re damn right please i need
an adventure let’s do it
so what do you know they buy me tickets
to go to texas
and as i’m on the plane and i i land at
the terminal i am
i’m a norm with the people that i call
my family
and as i look up in the sky i see
hundreds of thousands of white
butterflies overhead
and my dear friend my dear friend
she turns to me and she says
i feel like you are joy
and in that moment
i said i am joy call me joy
i am joy so what does it mean
to accept joy for your life
joy is not determined by circumstance
it is something that transcends
finding joy is to embrace
and endure suffering because there is
something greater
beyond that for your life
so what do i wish to share with you guys
yeah see
that’s the photo from this is from that
trip guys
this was one of the shots that justine
took of me
that day and you could see
that there was a freedom that was found
in my being that i was finally
starting to follow my authentic self
and it’s hard it’s not an easy path
to go through your life and be like what
have been all the things that people
have said to me that stuck to me that
actually aren’t
truth for my existence if you do not do
that work
those things will be passed through your
life
so we have a unique opportunity guys
that trillions of people do not have
that trillions have lost we get the
opportunity to shape history
to change the world
just by being who we are
being a life enthusiast means to embrace
your humanity
no one has it figured out we’re all just
trying to figure it out
we’re all existing in this plane of
existence
the best thing you can do
is to use your body and voice to be kind
to others
to open space
and to care so i want to say thank you
for making space for me today
to share with you thank you
for choosing to be here in this moment
and i’m excited for you for what you
will do for the world in this community
because we need you and that is why
you’re existing you are needed in this
world
i want to say thank you thank you
[Applause]