Happiness insights
[Music]
today my topic is
revisiting some selected talks on
happiness and some insights
our prime and ultimate goal of life is
to be happy but do we all know
what happiness is a nation like bhutan
measures the well-being of its citizens
not with gdp but with gnh gross national
happiness
the fact is very interesting that the
nation wants to know
how happy its citizens are and just not
how rich they are
with material only to begin with
i would like to say that according to
who
world health organization happiness is a
complete state of physical
mental and emotional well-being
here i have selected some ted talks in
taking care of
those who are easy to fit into
this talk second easy to explain
and easy to categorize here we will
treat happiness as an attitude so we’ll
talk about this in three categories
first is cognitive
where our mind is connected second is
affective where our heart is connected
the way we feel about happiness
and third is habit how we treat
happiness in our day-to-day life
so first of all like let’s have look at
some
cognitive factors the first is mr bart
beget
he talks about the neural pathways of
happiness he says
that when the stimuli are in the outside
world changes our level of happiness
changes
what makes me happy today might not make
me happy tomorrow
he says that our physical moments and
better self-talk can lead us to more
positive and happier life
he gives an example of one of his
friends he said
that i had a friend who was by
occupation and orator
and once he met an accident and left
his speaking ability completely he
mailed me
and asked me for some suggestions as i
am a handwriting expert
i recommended him to write practicing
figure eight when you write figure 8
constantly
it improves your ability of speaking you
can become a very good
speaker after 25 days the same friend
mailed him back and said
thank you so much i don’t know how to
thank you i have taken
i have got my speaking ability back by
95
then he says that better self-talk when
he wakes up in the morning
he starts a record player in his own
voice
and he meditates for five minutes and
there are some positive affirmations
like i’m going to have a great day today
i will meet someone very special today i
am going to
get higher raise in my job today and
etcetera etcetera
he says that this better positive
self-talks leads
to leads you gradually to a more
positive and fulfilling day
and likewise you go closer and closer to
a happier
life then there is dr daniel gilbert
he talks about a surprising signs of
happiness he says
that every every one of us develop that
synthetic happiness in our minds
consciously we are not aware of it for
example if you go
for meeting with someone for a marriage
proposal
and that person sneezed in front of you
while eating
you might not meet that person for the
second time but if the same thing
someone from your relatives or your
family members is doing
you won’t mind it so this is how we
cultivate habit
of developing synthetic happiness to
accept
what we are liking and to avoid we want
which we want to
he gives an example of a photography
workshop held in harvard university
there were two groups of students in
harvard and one was given the choice
to take two photographs and take one
with them and give the other one
for the magazine and the second group
has left with no choices
they have to give one photograph for the
magazine at the very moment
they found out in the in the results
that the first group was very anxious
and unsatisfied with their results even
though they had a chance to change their
photograph
the second group where they had no
option to change anything
with the that photograph they were very
happy and content with their photograph
they were very satisfied with the
workshop work given
so he says that the less options you
have in your life the more happy
you become now let’s have a look at some
effective factors
affecting men means which is related to
your emotions
how you relate to your emotion with your
happiness
the first is doctor robert weilinger
he talks about a survey taken place in
harvard university in it started from
1938
there were two groups selected one from
the boston’s
most poorest disadvantaged group of kids
and the second from the harvard freshers
they both were
interviewed while the survey started on
their mental emotional and
economical levels their brain has been
scanned
and they have been through some health
checkups after some years when they went
back
to check out what they are doing in
their lives they found
something very surprising those people
who say that they want to be rich and
famous they were nowhere in their life
they lost track of their life some
developed amnesia and some were
suffering from
schizophrenia where the other group from
the poorest boston
neighborhood some were on the higher
position in the job
some became doctor and some engineers he
said
that at the end we came out with two
conclusion as we got
the results of their old age that those
people who were happy with their family
lives and their relatives
were very happy and healthy at the age
of 55
and only those who were happy at that
age survived till
75 years of their age they were very
strong very healthy very happy and even
their brain were intact
nothing has taken all of their health
they had
not any kind of memory problems and not
any
big physical problems so he said that we
discovered two facts about happiness
that way one is
your relationships matters it’s the
relationship
of yours which you develop by time in
your life with your family
friends and surroundings and just not
the relationship but the quality of
relationship matters a lot
then there is mr chip connolly he say he
talks
about a working staff office hotel
vivian she is a sweeper in his hotel
she cleans toilets she is always very
happy giggling
and smiling he was very much surprised
that who feels happy
who can be so happy in cleaning toilets
one day he asked her that what makes you
feel so happy
about this job this is surprising she
said sir this is not the payment i get
here
and not even the kind of work i’m doing
it’s the connections i have developed
with people around here
it’s the way i walk here they respect me
so much
and they treat me as the family member
that keeps me going
that motivates me to give my best every
day and i don’t even miss a day
now let’s have a look at some habit
factors
the first is david
stendel rust he is a monk he talks about
gratitude he says that when you are
full of gratitude you become happy it’s
not the happy people who are grateful
it’s the bunch of happy grateful people
who are always happy
when you are grateful for everything you
are having you become happy
and it’s just not that you’re having you
are being happy with whatever you have
in your life
it’s about valuing what is given to you
in free
like air water sun
and even having a normal physical body
you have no disabilities
you are waking up in the morning you are
alive you are seeing the next moment in
your life that is an opportunity for
you to go along in your life and to do
more best
in your life he gives a method to apply
for a happier life and that is
stop look and go he says that we
rush into life we should stop we need to
take a pause
take a pause look around and check out
what you were working for you’re already
there
and enjoy the moment we run so fast in
our life that we forget to enjoy our
life
then stop look around there are other
people who are even there
with you in chasing happiness help them
out and take them
with you and go you have taken the next
moment
in your hand now you are alive you are
going to leave your next moment
the next minute so you need to work your
best
make this moment better than the last
one and this is how you become happy
and grateful it’s a great full living
it’s the way
of this is a grateful living and you
will become very
happy day by day now it’s dr
max killingsworth he talks about the
moment-to-moment experiences
he says that la happiness is nothing
else but a moment-to-moment experiences
this moment you are happy the other
moment you are happy then the moment
comes when you’re not happy
then the whole process is in danger he
says that he has created
an app called trekyourhappiness.org
that they randomly call in three
sections of time
to their members and ask them these
three questions
one what are you doing right now second
how are you feeling right now and three
are you really doing what you’re doing
right now
on based on those results they find out
that
it’s not the unhappy people whose mind
are wondering
it’s the mind wandering people who are
unhappy he says that 47 percent
in our life our mind are wondering we
are not
what we are not into what we are doing
right now so if you want to have a happy
life
you need to stop mind wondering when you
are focused there are two modes in
our brain focus mode and default mode
when we are in focus mode we are do
doing everything with full concentration
we are into it completely
and when you are in default mode your
your mind is wandering
so he says that if you want to be happy
just
stop mind wondering now let’s have a
look at some
lesson lessons i have taken from this
talks the first is happiness is
completely subjective
my happiness can be different from yours
your
happiness can be different from the
other ones now
if happiness is a part of our life if
we are born happy then we create
unhappiness gradually
we find out ways life is actually very
straight it’s like walking on a straight
path
we invite miseries we invite
troubles in our life by comparing
ourselves with others
and by com comforting with others so
we should be stopped doing that
temporary problems can grow into
unhappiness
time by time if i keep on thinking about
what disadvantages i am having what
discomfort i am facing
day by day even if it’s a very short
period of time feeling
day by day if i keep on thinking about
those negative terms negative things
it will gradually lead me to a unhappy
life
then the gap between expectations and
your real life
draws you to become more unhappy
what i’m living right now what i have
right now is
my life if i expect so much higher than
that
it’s okay you know that walking far
better walking
to i mean trying to get something more
better is okay but wanting what you have
is more important to be happy you should
have grateful feeling for what are you
having right now
then bridging the gap between the
expectations and your real life
and past can take a very big toll on
your happiness
if you are very happy in your past life
and now you are struggling
for survival even or vice versa if you
had struggled in your past life and now
you are having a luxurious life
if you keep on thinking about that life
you will not be happy right now because
right now in this moment you are not
focused you are thinking about something
else
you are not in the moment you are not
grateful for what for what you are
having right now
you can definitely walk a more better
life but right now you need to be here
and long state of unhappiness can lead
to
anxiety depression if i’m constantly
thinking about what i don’t have
i’ll constantly develop a habit of being
unhappy
that unhappiness will eventually lead me
to depressed life i would really feel
that as a mother as a homemaker i would
like to do
only one thing with my life with
happiness
that if i want my next generation to be
happy
to be self content and self-sufficient i
would definitely pass on this
feeling of being self-contained with
whatever we have in our life
i would tell them that always be happy
with you with what you have
be grateful for what you are having
right now and then walk
onwards your life is your responsibility
and so
is your happiness if you know who you
are if you know what you want
then you definitely know what makes you
happy so work for
for it because the one who can help you
the best is yourself
and i would like to end with one quote
which i like very much and inspired me a
lot in my life
that the more you celebrate life the
life gives you
more to celebrate thanks for listening
stay happy stay safe