How We Gain Control by Giving It Away
Transcriber: Giorgia Cotrufo
Reviewer: Ghada Khalil
(MUSIC)
The best way to use my voice
is to silence it.
A year ago, I probably would have told
you something completely different,
but in a short amount of time
I’ve completely reversed
the way I think about creativity.
You see, the best ideas are executed
beyond a unilateral vision,
by entrusting
others with its direction.
What inspired me were ideas,
but what empowered me were the people
that I shared those ideas with,
because trusting my ideas exclusively,
that was a self inflicted barrier.
So today, I want to discuss
how investing in others
and empowering others comes back
to strengthen your mission.
But first, let me ask you this.
We’re taught to trust our gut,
but what if your ideas can take
my ideas so much further?
Should I let your imagination
take control,
especially when giving up control
was the hardest thing that
I’ve ever had to do.
We spend many days and nights
and hours building a vision,
turning it into reality,
so why would I hand it off immediately,
especially when trusting our gut
is the easiest advice to take.
And why would you take my advice?
Me, standing right here, I don’t know
your story and you don’t know mine,
but what I do know
is that when I forgot what I knew,
that’s when I felt my ideas begin to move.
So let’s get moving.
I talk to young creative people
every single day;
people who inspire me in ways that
truthfully I can’t even fully comprehend.
This is my circle.
These are the people that I trust.
But am I fully exercising my circle
if I’m not adopting their advice,
implementing that feedback
and ensuring that they are heard?
And am I being a good member
of their circle?
This is where I want to introduce
the idea of mutual empowerment.
Meaningful human exchanges
in which our ideas flourish
under the eyes of a greater application.
Now, of course, that’s easier
said than done.
So let’s be tangible,
let’s break this down
and let’s make sure you walk away today
knowing exactly what your next steps are.
These are the three pillars
to mutual empowerment:
[Control As A Cycle]
First is control as a cycle;
gaining control by giving it away.
It sounds a bit contradictory
though, right?
Well, hang with me here.
Think about trust. Who do you trust?
My best guess is that you trust
the people that trust you;
you have to give a little to get a little.
Control is the exact same way.
Think about it this way.
Think of a shield
that holds your vision together.
The more we connect, the greater
that shield grows.
Again, you and me, we don’t
know each other’s stories.
But if we do connect, we can discover
maybe holes in our thinking,
maybe some unconscious bias that
we didn’t know it was there,
and we can apply new experiences
and new ambitions to the idea
to welcome more people in.
The collaborative environment
is where you will find full fulfillment.
But you also may be thinking, does
including a ton of people in my vision,
does that lead to conflict?
Well, I’ll ask you this,
what’s the prerequisite to a resolution?
Conflict.
So don’t think of conflict
as something negative here,
think of conflict as the catalyst
to your resolution
and don’t think of control as something
that fits in the palm of your hands.
Think of control as your catalyst
to a resolution.
[External Focus]
The second pillar is applying
your external focus.
I work with young, creative people
every single day,
across all areas, across all industries,
across all ambitions
and there’s one thing
that they all have in common.
It’s that their best ideas,
their best moments,
their best highlights,
all come from the unplanned.
Because embracing the unplanned,
that’s where you really fall back
in love with your idea,
you find love within your audience,
and you fall back in love
with yourself as a creator.
I want to share
with you a quick story.
I talked to one of my favorite creators,
she’s incredibly smart.
She was thinking of a sustainable option
to the paper and plastic cups
that we have our morning coffee in,
which is my favorite part of the day,
which is where she got my attention.
So I began thinking with her.
She was talking about how
she was having a hard time
learning to invest and market
to a wide audience
of coffee drinkers like you and I.
But she found subtle hints
as she was marketing.
There was a greater alliance out there,
a greater network that would
really push her product.
The baristas, the coffee shop owners,
the people who would actually
push and follow
and adopt that same sustainable idea.
So she took a step back.
She applied that external focus
and she made sure to invest
in that audience.
She built an exponential network,
a new network to audience to
and found greater fulfillment there.
But, you may also be thinking,
if I’m constantly engaging with
people over and over,
am I ever going to cross the finish line?
Well, I would argue and say
that the best never do.
And something that the best always do
is work on their relationships;
[Relationship]
That’s pillar number three.
Now, this may be a bit easier
to define in terms of reciprocity,
but think about it this way.
In every working relationship that I have,
I always like to say
I’m their number one fan,
which I may not be in their eyes,
but I tell myself
I’m always fighting to be.
Because a piece of advice
I know you’ve heard before
is that actions speak louder than words.
And I won’t disagree with
that piece of advice.
But I will add onto it a little bit,
because if you seek active input,
you have to show
active consideration of it.
Because prioritizing relationships,
that dissolves
those self-inflicted barriers,
that ensures that circular development.
But you may also be thinking we’re young,
we’re new to this, we’re creating;
let’s work on ourselves
and our own professional development.
And I’ll be the first to say
I have the exact same thinking.
If I’m going to work on myself,
it’s going to be me.
If I’m going to work on anyone,
it’s going to be me.
But I’ll also share with you
one of the best pieces of advice
that I’ve ever received,
and that’s that your internal growth
must outpace your external growth.
Lay your foundation,
ensure the collaboration is there,
not just the relationships
between team members,
but who you are as a team member.
That foundation is critical
and will set you up
for positive success in collaboration.
Now, you’re probably watching today
because you understand, like me,
that young entrepreneurship and youth
creativity is new and it’s contagious
and it’s exciting. And I’d say you
probably hold a larger role in society
and industry than you may realize.
So, if you want to lead, you’ll understand
and implement mutual empowerment.
You’ll understand that the days of fierce
competition in zero sum games are over.
You’ll understand that success
is not limited,
and you’ll understand that our best
is just that,
ours.
The best way to use your
voice is to silence it,
because what you do with what you hear
often speaks the loudest.
Thank you.