Living your dreams and fears
[Music]
i ran a chain
of schools successful schools
130 schools in four countries
india maldives qatar and dubai
and then four years ago i sold them
if i was living my fears and not my
dreams
i would not have let’s see how my life
may have turned out
if i had lived my fears i would
never ever have left the life i knew in
australia for the life i had built in
india
i would be a classroom teacher today
sure
impacting the lives of 20 students 24
students every year
with a focus on academic outcomes
instead of someone who constantly is
striving
to build a more exciting engaging
learning process
with self-driven learning tools which
will allow each one of you
to build your dreams and not your fears
as a teacher i would like to teach you
less math
less history less geography and allow
you more time
to learn more about yourself most people
who live fulfilled engaged and
meaningful lives
have mastered one thing personal
and purpose mastery for you to be able
to move towards your dreams
and not be driven by fear you must
understand your brain and what it wants
remember from an evolutionary
perspective
your brain evolved not to help you
thrive
it evolved to keep you alive to survive
so let me tell you a story about our
brains
once upon a time many many generations
ago
our ancestors were cavemen and hunters
nature gave us a very helpful part of
our brain
called the amygdala this part of our
brain
was extremely beneficial to our ability
to survive
it was and it still always is
on the lookout for danger when we saw a
snake
or a tiger the amygdala would activate
certain areas in our brain
that would trigger a fight or a flight
response
it would talk to other parts of our
brain
then one part of our brain would flood
our body with a hormone
that activates us to react quickly
cortisol which is known as the stress
hormone
it makes us get sweaty bombs makes our
heart race
all in preparation for a quick reaction
another part of our brain creates a
memory of this
which sort of acts like a post-it or a
highlighter in the brain
so if anything similar happens again
the same brain activation the same flood
of hormones
the same body reactions occur
in my case as a child i had a traumatic
experience with a bat
flapping around in my bedroom today
i get the same anxiety with anything
that is black and flaps its wings even
a harmless moth my amygdala misbehaves
my body goes through the same anxious
reaction as it did when i was a child
even though my logical brain knows a
moth is not a bat
i would have to undergo therapy
to go back in time to the memory was
traumatic as a child
and scrub out the highlighter and remove
the post-it
today we no longer have an environment
that is physically dangerous
but we still have the amygdala
and the amygdala is always on the
lookout
and alert to fear something
to be alert for danger rather than
to look out for pleasure you see it was
more important for our ancestors
to see the snake than to see the
luscious fruit on a tree
if you missed fruit you would still
survive
but not so likely if you miss the snake
or the tiger
modern man today by and large is no
longer in a constant state
of imminent danger but our brains have
not evolved
as far as as fast as our external world
has
so we will give more attention to fear
less to dreams
more to pain less to pleasure
more to negative less to positive
more to scarcity less to abundance
so if i were to tell you that you are
intelligent
vivacious charming
statuesque compassionate
kind generous friendly
articulate adventurous but hey
you have a rather large nose your brain
will pay more attention
to the rather large nose even though i
told you ten positives
and only potentially one negative
because people with large noses
according to
auntie flo’s face reading says that more
often than not
the bearer of a large nose is
self-reliant
confident and ambitious now everyone
wants a large nose
as rick hansen someone i recently
interviewed
is very fond of saying the mind is like
velcro
for negative experiences and teflon for
positive ones
our brains will pay more attention to
bad news
rather than good news the media knows
this
and uses it we watched the media and our
negative mindset gets stronger
your brain is literally hooked to paying
attention to fear
and anything that could be negative it
will select
surviving overthriving it is guided by
fear
and will choose the certainty of staying
still or staying stuck
over the uncertainty of chasing your
dreams
because when it is safe it feels safe
and certain the good news
once you know this you can hack this
in order to move towards your dreams so
why did i sell my schools
my dream has always been to ignite human
greatness
to help each one of you create the best
version of yourself
i was not going to be able to do this
within a school framework
no matter how much i tried so i just
changed
tracks i was able to change tracks
because i
understand how the brain works and that
its goal
would have me continue to feel safe with
the certainty around
wealth significance and meaning that i
had created by owning and running these
schools
i can live my dreams and not my fears
because my mind
has mastery over my mischievous brain
this is my dream for you for you to have
mastery over your mind
i cannot reach any child unless i reach
a parent first
you see your parents did not learn
personal mastery when they were in
school
so their brains also crave certainty it
is a part of the human condition
we all know that what we are doing in
schools is not going to cut it
in the world of tomorrow but here we are
we stick with predictable certainty even
though it is actually no longer safe
the world is changing so exponentially
and the scary thing is this if we
teachers and parents
keep living our fears for our children
our children may at best survive
in a world that has increasing amounts
of uncertainty
but will fail to thrive and live a
meaningful
fulfilled life so the first step in the
journey
was for me to talk to your parents to
let them know that the brain’s goals
are not aligned with the children
becoming the best versions of themselves
so i began a live series called moonshot
conversations
which informs parents on how the brain
works and how we can help
children hack the brain’s goals and
break away
from thoughts beliefs and feelings that
don’t allow us to thrive
once parents understand why some people
get stuck and stay stuck
while others aspire grow persevere and
find
meaning happiness and success they will
change seeing a child’s potential
as finite and begin to see it as
infinite how
over and above sharing 29 years of
research that i have done in the area of
behavioral
neuro and energy science i began having
conversations with the greatest thinkers
and thought leaders on this planet and
now i’m working on distilling
and synthesizing this information for
parents
and for children in a way that is
understandable
as i said earlier we need less math
history and geography
and more learning about how our brains
work how it can be motivated
how it gets brainwashed how to create
the newer circuitry
that will help you create the best
version of yourself
so what i’m about to share with you are
some life hacks
that i have learned either through my
research or through my conversations
with great thinkers what i am sharing
is knowledge that i wish my school had
taught me knowledge i wish my parents
had
knowing them will allow you to live your
dreams
and not your fears here goes
life hack number one know your why
if you know your why it creates an
intrinsic motivation into two things
when you are driven by your why it will
give your life a deeper meaning
if you start a business around your why
people who have the same why
will show up why is
powerful because it gives your brain
meaning
your why will lead to knowing your life
purpose
your life purpose consists of the
central
most motivating aim of your life the
reason
you get up in the morning people who
find their purpose
are naturally motivated and naturally
energized
your purpose can be an automatic guide
for your life decisions it influences
your behavior
shapes your goals will offer a sense of
direction
and create meaning it is naturally
intrinsically motivating
as your life purpose comes from within
you
in a purpose in a motivation
life hack number two be insanely curious
and keep asking why this will lead you
to a contrarian way of thinking
society and education teach you that
there is a correct answer
for every question you have been brought
up to obey
comply follow instructions and
directions
if someone tells you to do something or
to believe in something
or to behave in a certain way ask why
keep asking till you get a response that
sits well in your brain
and in your heart the ability to disrupt
establish methods and ways of thinking
and find new ways of looking at old
ideas
is still and will always be one of the
most sought after qualifications in
any field this insane curiosity will
develop this
life hack number three when anything
happens in your life
that you like you have a choice when
anything happens in your life that you
don’t like
you have a choice to be a victim and to
suffer
or to reframe the story so it empowers
you
the decision to identify with anything
in our minds is a choice
when you learn the power of reframing
the story of what happens to you
this becomes a superpower you won’t
always be able to control what happens
to you
you will be able to control the meaning
you’re given know that your character
intelligence and creative abilities are
not fixed
your brain will want to stay in its
comfort zone in order to
thrive but you have to keep growing
moving forward
you can continue throughout your life to
acquire new skills
to learn new things and to event and to
embed new habits
to create the best version of yourself
you must
keep investing in yourself life hack
number four
you have something called the reticular
activation system
in your brain it is a filter that
directs your focus
and shapes your beliefs once you set a
goal
you communicate to this reticular
activation system that anything
associated with this goal is important
to you
writing your goals is a research pathway
of meeting your goals
and activating your reticular activation
system
the intention sets your direction just
like keying in your destination on
google maps
your reticular activation system must
know where
you want to go to be able to take you
there
life hack number five your inner world
creates your outer world
what thoughts would you think if you
knew that every thought
changes the structure of your brain your
thoughts create your beliefs
and your beliefs create your reality
your thoughts and the beliefs you create
can limit your potential
or expand it how do you live your dreams
or your fears
you have the power to create empowering
beliefs
by choosing your thoughts mindfully once
you have chosen a new belief
you can reshape your habits to reflect
this new belief
there is no stronger predictor of
success
than having the competency of optimism
which offers a far
greater chance of success than pessimism
being optimistic can make you happier
healthier and more successful in all
that you do
it can help you overcome problems keep
you focused on goals
make you less stressed help you have
more fun
helps you learn from any situation
being an optimist and thinking positive
thoughts are key ingredients to a great
life and to being the best version of
yourself
life hack number six learn to tune in
and name and feel
all your emotions the good ones and the
bad ones
accept and embrace the fact that there
is an inevitable pain
of being human we will all suffer in one
way or another
at some point in time you will feel the
loss of a person
or a thing or have to deal with
rejection
fear and uncertainty these are all
uncomfortable feelings
but feelings that will happen to every
single human being alive
digital devices and social media can
offer you an instance
escape and distraction from
uncomfortable feelings like loneliness
boredom or sadness this will replace you
having to confront
or lean into these feelings but it will
also stop
you building mental strength and having
resilience
you need to be resilient to thrive in
the world without it you will be rooted
by fears
and not propelled by dreams challenging
experiences in plants
animals and humans act as an advantage
as they build resilience
many challenges and experiences build
your resilience muscle
so that when you face a big one a big
challenge
you have the antibodies the thoughts
beliefs and
mindsets that you will need life hack 7
cultivate self-awareness this means
having a deep understanding of your
emotions
your strengths your weaknesses your
needs your drives
how do we find success and happiness
unless
you know what motivates you what drives
you what excites you what calms you
what makes you feel fulfilled what
causes you stress
on what basis do you choose select and
just decide
ask the questions who am i what are my
values what are my needs
my drivers what really is my definition
of success
what does a happy life look like to me
what are my
dreams when you have the answers and
choose the daily
habits that will lead you forwards
anyone living their dream
finds their purpose the true purpose is
about recognizing your own gifts
and using them to contribute to the
world whether those gifts are playing
beautiful music
for others to enjoy helping friends
solve problems
or simply bringing more joy into the
lives of those around you
your life is ahead of you go live your
dreams
thank you