Should we be Punished for a Lifetime for our One Worst Act
[Music]
[Applause]
hi everyone
my name is bethany
i am a convicted felon
is that what you expected me to say when
you saw me walking up here
when you think of the word felon
am i the image that immediately comes to
mind
do i look like a felon
do you
so how did i get this label
we all make choices in life
i’m a convicted felon because i made a
bad choice
i was 24 years old and i did something
stupid for a boy
he was 28 years old but really he was a
boy
i took drugs from my job at a veterinary
clinic
and i gave them to the guy i was dating
specifically
i sold him a small amount of ketamine
an animal tranquilizer that can also be
used by people to get high
what i didn’t know is this
the man i was dating
was working undercover for the police
15 minutes after handing him the drugs i
was handcuffed and arrested in front of
my co-workers
when i arrived at the jail i called my
mother
and this is what she said
you are not my daughter
you are no longer welcome here
do not come home
those words
broke me
they echoed through my mind during the
four days that i spent in jail before i
was released to await sentencing on
december seventh 7 2009
just a few days earlier i was working
full time and living with my parents
now
i was unemployed
homeless
and facing felony charges
that same year more than 3.3 million
americans were arrested on drug-related
charges according to the u.s department
of justice
by 2010
people with felony convictions accounted
for eight percent of the adult
population in the united states
two years after i was arrested i was
sentenced
to one felony count delivery of ketamine
the judge sentenced me to 90 days in
jail
two and a half years on probation
and a two and a half year prison
sentence
the prison sentence was imposed and
stayed
meaning if my probation was revoked i
would be sent to prison
i was ordered to pay 25 restitution to
the veterinary clinic
yes
that’s right
i’m a convicted felon over 25
worth of drugs
what i did
was wrong
and i am incredibly ashamed of my
actions
i cannot begin to describe how sorry i
am
and if i could go back and change the
past
i would
but i can’t
so all i can do is be a better person
than who i once was and make better
decisions in the future
i was approved to complete my 90-day
jail sentence under house arrest while
wearing a gps monitoring ankle bracelet
and an alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet
every half hour the alcohol monitoring
ankle bracelet would loudly vibrate as
it tested my skin for the presence of
alcohol
for one hour each morning and each
evening
i had to sit next to an electrical
outlet and plug my gps monitoring ankle
bracelet into charge
police officers conducted random
searches of my apartment at all hours of
the day and night
i was only allowed to leave my apartment
to go to work
i successfully completed my 90 day house
arrest sentence
and i continued regularly seeing my
probation officer
a year into my sentence my probation
officer called me into her office
i was going back to jail on a probation
hold
well she investigated a tip about me
i had no idea what i had done wrong or
how long i would be locked up for
some of the other inmates told me they
had been locked up for six months or
longer on a probation hold
i felt terrified and defeated
that evening i sat on the bunk of my
jail cell
with a noose made out of a bed sheet
tied around my neck
i didn’t actually know how to tie a
hangman’s noose
but each jail pod had a set of stairs
leading to the second floor of cells
my plan was to tie the noose to the
second floor railing and jump
my hope was that if the knot failed the
impact of falling two stories would
break my neck and kill me
as i reached for my cell door
i stared up at the industrial gray walls
with pen and pencil graffiti covering
them
and i wondered if those walls would be
the last images
i would ever see
is this really it i thought
will my death be payment enough for the
mistakes and bad choices that i’ve made
i thought of everything i had already
been through in my life
and i thought of everything i would
never get the chance to experience if i
decided to end my life
and i realized i couldn’t go through
with it
the punishment did not fit the crime
i took that noose off of my neck and i
decided that i am worth more than my
worst act
nothing came of the probation
investigation
except that i lost 75 days of my life
my probation officer took me straight
from jail to a halfway house
where i stayed for another 90 days
i was released from the halfway house
and i started my life over again for the
second time
i successfully completed the remainder
of my probation
i paid my 25 restitution
and my case is considered closed
i did the crime
i paid the time
now i get the chance to move on and live
my life right
wrong
no one would rent to me
no one would hire me
no one would give me a chance
must have a clean record they’d say
sorry
our insurance won’t allow us to hire
felons
the incarceration rate in america is
higher than any other country in the
entire
world
politifact reports that by 2017
about 30 percent of all americans had a
criminal record
that’s 30 out of every 100 people
about 32 out of every 100 people held a
bachelor’s degree in the u.s that same
year according to the u.s census bureau
that means
you have almost the same likelihood of
being arrested and charged in this
country
as you do of obtaining a bachelor’s
degree
in fact the wisconsin budget project
reported that wisconsin
spends more on incarceration
than it spends on the entire university
of wisconsin system
so
we have mass incarceration
combined with a criminal justice system
that is designed for people to fail
in 2018 the prison policy institute
reported that formerly incarcerated
people are unemployed at a rate of over
27 percent
an unemployment rate that is higher than
the u.s unemployment rate during any
time in history including the great
depression
so
where does a person live when they can’t
rent an apartment due to a past
conviction
where does a person turn when no place
will hire them
what choices are left for them
most likely
the only choices left for them
are the same choices that led to their
initial incarceration
and this cycle repeats itself
our system is supposed to work in a do
the crime pay the time sort of way but
for felons
we never
stop
paying
my charge was for a non-violent drug
offense from 12 years ago
but there are many things that i still
can’t do
i can’t work in healthcare
or at banks
or with children
at many places i can’t even volunteer
felons are denied entrance to many
countries
i live in wisconsin and we’re so close
to canada
but i can never visit
even though my charge had nothing to do
with weapons or violence
as a felon i’m permanently prohibited
from purchasing or possessing a firearm
even if it’s just for deer hunting
i can even be arrested if a gun is near
me
such as in a car that i’m riding in
i understand
that what i did
was wrong
and i have paid for my mistakes
i have paid my 25 restitution
i have paid with jail time
i have paid with probation
and i have paid with a felony conviction
permanently on my record
but all of these other things
being denied jobs
being banned from volunteering
being denied housing
having to explain my worst act to
everyone i meet
over and over again
these things were not listed as part of
my punishment
i am
so
sorry
that i stole from my employer
and i have paid for my mistakes
but i keep on paying
there will always be a box at the bottom
of a job application that says
have you been convicted of a crime
that box
allows me to be discriminated against
that box
serves future employers my worst act on
a silver platter
northwestern university reports there
are more than 19 000 statutes in the
united states that involve the denial of
job opportunities for convicted felons
the university also reports that 60
percent of employers refuse to hire a
person that has a criminal conviction
and when people can’t get jobs
it increases their chances of
reoffending
that little check box at the bottom of a
job application
causes more pain
suffering and missed opportunities than
you can begin to imagine
and it is time to consider
whether we need to ban the box
this idea that we need to ban the box
isn’t something new
proponents have been advocating for a
ban for many years
a 2017 study by economic inquiry found
that banning the box
would increase the probability of public
employment for those with convictions
by about 30 percent on average
and it is beyond time that we ban it
we need to move our society from one of
punishment and judgment
to a society of forgiveness
and mercy
if you’re a business owner or you work
in human resources
the next time you’re looking through job
applications
and you start to discard the applicants
that disclose they have a criminal
history
remember
it’s people like me
that you’re pushing aside
for those of you without a criminal
history the next time you’re filling out
a job application and you get to that
check box at the bottom
instead of just skipping past
take a second
to stop and think about what that
checkbox really means to people like me
people are more than a check box at the
bottom of a job application
we are more than the label that we’re
given of felon
we are more than the mistakes that we
have made and we deserve the chance to
redeem ourselves
it’s been nine years since the day that
i stood in a jail cell
with a noose made out of a bed sheet
tied around my neck
i drove past that same jail on my way to
speak to all of you today
as i drove past i flashed back to the
smells
and the fear
and the nightmares
the feeling of not being in control of
my own fate
and i thought to myself
haven’t those of us who’ve been
convicted and served our sentences
paid for our mistakes
should we be labeled for a lifetime for
our one worst act
i looked up at that jail and i thought
of how far i’ve come in nine years
despite the obstacles that i’ve faced
i am a college graduate
i am a writer
i am the founder of a non-profit
i am more than a convicted felon
and we are all worth
so much more than our worst act
[Applause]