The Hidden Life of Being an Immigrant
ever since i can remember
my life in the philippines was never
meant to be permanent
there were always these talks about
something called visas
something about passports petitions and
citizenships
there are also talks about finally
riding on a plane
finally playing in the snow and my
personal favorite
finally going to disney world
before these talks were just mere words
until these words became a reality
in the summer of 2009 my brother and i
finally made it here
in the united states the glorious land
of opportunity
however getting to this new life in this
new country was a battle
but what i was not expecting was that
the life ahead was going
to have just as much hurdles as the life
ahead let’s start from the beginning
back in 1961 my lola my grandfather
decided to apply for a professional
workers visa to be able to work here
and after his visa was granted he now
had the ability to apply for visas for
his family
and in 1981 him and his family finally
moved here
and while they were here they also
applied to become green card holders
making them permanent residents
they now had the ability to fly back
from their new home to their old home
and vice versa now let’s fast forward to
the 90s when a
wonderful and resilient woman by the
name of christina my
loving mother shout out to my mom
this uh decided to go back home to the
philippines to help with my
grandfather’s business
well back home she also found a husband
and then gave birth to two wonderful
kids
one in 1995 and one in 1999
the one standing on the stage right now
in 2000 2003 my mother decided to move
back to the united states
to be able to work and provide a better
life for her family
however due to many factors years later
my mom couldn’t just apply for a visa
just like my grandfather did back in the
day
there’s a more extensive and expensive
process that was put into place
but before we get to that process in
2004 my mother finally got her
full-fledged american citizenship and
now
my brother my father and i finally had
our chance
now let’s go back to that process so
look at here in this graphic to the left
this is the immigrant visa process as
presented on the us department of state
website
and as you can see there are literally
12 steps the first is to submit a
petition
a petition is pretty much you know
viewed saying that you can provide for
the people that you want to bring into
the country
however in order for a petition to be
approved the petitioner
must be a united states citizen and the
relationship between the petitioner and
the petitionee must be biological
i know that’s a lot right after a
petition has been approved there are
these 11 other steps
that requires a lot of time effort money
and there’s even interviews in there and
if you’re asking yourself
yes just like job interviews i literally
had to interview just to get into the
country just like i would for an
internship which is insane
however once you have your visa approved
there’s still more
you have to go through multiple tests
and checks to make sure that you’re fit
to go into the country
and then you also have to pretty much
book your flight and then have to plan
out how you’re going to move your life
from one country
to another spoiler alert once you get to
the us
you’re not done yet you also have to
apply for a green card to become a
permanent resident
and then you have to apply for your
full-fledged american citizenship
which takes even more time money and
effort
for the full-fledged american
citizenship for those over the age of 18
there’s even an exam for it
if you’re asking yourself yes just like
the ones we take here
at schools about the united states and
civics and if you want you can try it
out for yourself there’s a buzzfeed
version of it online so try it out after
today’s event and challenge yourself and
see if you pass
now this is why when we see pictures
like these and headlines like these pop
up on the media social media wherever we
see them
that the process itself to legally
immigrate into the united states is not
that easy
the process itself is more of a
deterrent rather than an encouragement
and sometimes people choose to immigrate
and jump borders because
they’re fighting for their lives so when
you can imagine
now i address that i’m very privileged i
had the
family support and the resources to help
me legally immigrate into this country
but sometimes when you’re running for
your life you just don’t have the time
to pool all of those resources
so that’s why when we hear people say
something like why can’t they just
legally immigrate into the country that
it’s not that easy
this is also why it’s super important
for as a society to educate ourselves
because by educating ourselves we can
see that this is
not humane the way we treat these people
we’re all human
and by educating ourselves we can be
more compassionate and learn people’s
stories
and see that we are all welcome wherever
we want to go
now let’s go back to my story due to my
mother moving to the united states
i mostly had a childhood without her my
father
and my aunts took amazing care of my
brother and i but there were so many
parts of my younger self that
was just wishing for that good night
good night’s kiss for my mother
a hug from whenever i came back home
from school
or you know just those small daily
interactions that you could have around
the house
most of my memories with my mother
consisted of yahoo instant messenger
video chats
occasional visits and the tears that
i’ve cried at the airport cafeteria
every time we dropped her off
here’s actually one of those instances
in the iconic airport cafeteria
and don’t be fooled by that smile over
there i actually cried buckets when we
got to the car i was like mom don’t
leave me
but it’s okay now let’s fast forward
to 2009. we went through the process and
we finally made it here
i remembered that day like it was
yesterday i remember we landed in the
john f kennedy airport in new york
and after we got through customs all i
wanted was to see my mom
and we got to the arrival section i saw
her literally jumping over the fence and
she was like oh my gosh i’m here
and then i went to the border i passed
the fence and i remember the hug that my
mother gave me it was one of the biggest
ones that she has ever given my brother
and i
and then i also remember the high fives
i got from my cousin and my uncle
and of course after we left the airport
we had to celebrate but after a few days
we started to settle i started to wonder
what’s next
i finally made it here what do i do now
now i grew up and still live in the
humble town of hampden connecticut
hampden is a very diverse town at least
compared to the ones in connecticut
while i always felt welcomed i never
really feel like felt like i belonged
there was a lot of things that’s making
me stand out and one of those
instances where i stood out the most was
actually my first day of american school
which unfortunately was the second day
for everyone else because i had like
documentations
that stopped me from going in that first
day i know i didn’t want to stand up but
here we are going in for the first day
on the second day
so i remember walking up to my school
and walking into my classroom and then
seeing my teacher’s face
glow up she was like oh my gosh he’s
here so she took me from the door
presented me in front of the classroom
and then said something along these
lines like
good morning everyone here’s ramon
here’s a new classmate he’s from the
philippines
and i remember just standing there like
an alien being presented in front of my
class i was like
hi hello i guess cool
now my class welcomed me and i had a lot
of great time at school but i always
still felt different
from the way i carried myself the way i
spoke with my broken english
and the fried rice and spam that i
brought in for lunch
now if you know at school there’s one
place you don’t want to stand out it’s
the cafeteria so i would literally walk
in on there every day
with my tupperware with my rice and
everyone’s like who is that
but being different in many aspects than
the rest of my peers made me appreciate
my differences being different i
appreciated that i have
a lot of interesting stories to tell i
have experience living in a different
country and i can also speak two
languages which is
lokia flex
but aside from the fried rice and spam
there was still something that made me
feel like i never really belonged
it was something that you couldn’t see
it was my beliefs
and my values you see schools back home
are so much more different than the
schools that we have here
back home you weren’t encouraged to have
fun we didn’t even have a playground we
barely had a recess
and teachers are allowed to be tough on
you i remember one time i was talking so
much i took a shoe to the head
yes teachers could do that in the
philippines but here
it was so much more different you were
encouraged to have fun
you were supported and you were
encouraged to explore any interests that
you may have
whether it be sports art music whatever
now i wish that i could just
play in the snow all day and i wish that
i could just
go to disney world every day but there’s
so many factors that’s stopping us from
doing that however schools in the
philippines also had something different
it was competition from a young age you
were taught to be better than everyone
else
no matter the cost now
finally being here in the united states
and knowing that the biggest reason why
i came here was to get a better
education
for a better future and that one-upping
mentality
always stuck with me and it still with
me to this day
when i was at school i remember i would
always be in the playground playing with
my friends but all i can think about is
that exam
coming the next week now let’s fast
forward to high school where the
pressure just kept on going up
there are always the pressures of
maintaining the best gpa
joining clubs to fill up that resume and
all to get to the best colleges in the
land
now getting into college spoiler alert
the
pressure is at the highest that it has
ever been i put all of this pressure
onto myself
to feel like i can make up for all the
effort that was spent getting me here
now i love bryant i really do
but unfortunately brian is not easy on
the pockets
now that there’s a financial burden tied
to academic performance
all of the factors that i just mentioned
about is like all i can think about
now we all know that saying that goes
college
is going to be the best four years of
your life
however it’s hard to enjoy the best four
years of your life and all you can think
about is
again getting those good grades filling
up that resume and
hopefully landing that perfect job offer
by the end of all of this so that i can
provide for myself
and in turn give back to my family now
don’t get me wrong i may have had a lot
of self-imposed pressure
but there is also a lot of external
pressures that were put onto me
you see going to business school was
already a big bet for me
business is not the major choice for
most filipinos
in filipino culture you either become a
nurse or do something else in the
medical field
i remember this one time when i was out
to dinner before i was moving
into my freshman year here at bryant my
father and i had this conversation that
went something like this
my father went business how much money
is that going to make you
and then i remember responding
i don’t know but what i do know is that
there are a lot of opportunities within
it
and then my dad goes okay
with enough doubt to permeate the little
atmosphere and vibe that we were having
there in the table at that time
during my time at college so far there
has been many times that i have over
exerted myself
not because i didn’t want to take time
to have fun or take care of myself but
because doing so
was selfish in my eyes i always had
thoughts that went into my head that
went like
oh so you want to take a nap well what
about that exam you have the next week
if you don’t study now you’re going to
get bad grades and there goes your job
prospects
or other thoughts that went like go join
that club and make something of yourself
now i may have had a lot of pressure and
barriers that has put in front of me
whether it’s physical
emotional mental self-imposed external
whatever form i may have taken
however i did not let those stop me from
living my best
life i would not be the resilient driven
and passionate person that i am today if
it were not for these
for those barriers they helped motivate
me to light a fire under me
to be better and to always strive to be
the best
due to the motivation that those
barriers have given me i was able to
earn a lot of awards in high school
and even get my high school diploma i
was able to get into an amazing
university and finally
get that good american education that i
have been yearning for ever since i was
young
shout out to brian and i have even been
able to land a very coveted internship
in one of the biggest companies in the
world
however this motivation also made me
more compassionate
you see everyone has their own paths and
goals in life
life is not a one size fits all
by embracing our different paths and our
different goals we can actually learn
from each other because we can help each
other into reaching those
and then we can also listen to others if
they need help we can be more
compassionate
and also very more empathetic
now for those of you watching this talk
here in the auditorium today or for
those of you watching online at home
i hope that my talk inspired you to
start looking at the barriers that have
been put in front of you
not as what they are not as barriers but
as learning lessons here to make you
better
they’re only there to make you stronger
and to test your strength so that
moving forward you can be a better
version of yourself
next is to never be afraid to be
different
embrace who you are whether you’re in a
room of
ten a hundred a thousand ten thousand or
a million people
always be proud to be you one being one
out of seven billion
that should make you proud and happy to
be who you are
having these differences is what makes
us human beings shine
next is to never be afraid to educate
yourself
don’t be afraid to engage in the events
that are being held in your community
don’t be afraid to ask those tough
questions don’t be afraid to stand up
and be an ally sometimes all it takes is
one spark
to ignite others to do the same and
hopefully one day when we continue to
spread our wealth of knowledge that we
can come to a world where
diversity and inclusivity is the law of
the land
lastly be more grateful
be grateful for everything and everyone
that has gotten you this far in your
life so far
sometimes we can get so caught up in the
barriers that life has put in our path
that we ourselves can be our own
barriers from stop stopping us from
reaching our highest potential
by taking the time to reflect and being
more grateful
we can see that where we are right now
is enough
i am enough you are enough
we are all enough and that there’s
potential in all of us
now before i leave i just wanted to say
thank you to my family
i would not be who i am without them
i dedicate this talk to them salamat