What Happens on the Road Not Taken
i’ve actually secretly
been practicing my tedx speech since the
age of 14.
and now 10 years after when my dream was
finally materializing into a reality
i was dumbfounded i was absolutely blank
i had no words coming out of my mouth
and i
panicked i was wondering why is this
happening
it’s not because i have nothing to say
to the contrary i feel
everybody has stories and experiences
that are worth sharing
it’s only a little later that i realized
the root cause of this
was the cause of all the major issues in
my life
pressure pressure and only pressure
pressure to impress pressure not to
disappoint pressure to succeed
i feel all of us have fallen prey at
some point in our life
to this idea of an ideal life and
what it means to have an ideal life it
begins with
getting good grades in school which
eventually leads to
getting a job which eventually leads to
making money
which then leads to having a successful
life
or a failed life um and all along
you know we give in to all the standards
that are set by society
sounds like a lot of pressure but i’m
not here to be a therapist
or to be a philosopher i’m just here to
talk about my life and talk about
concepts
that have helped me make some decisions
in my life and hopefully might help you
too
when i was growing up i was extremely
academically driven
i had only three things on my mind good
grades good grades
and with roshan i was the head girl of
my school
and i had blinders on that you know i
have to do well in school
then i have to do well in college then i
have to get um you know graduation
degree
and then a master’s and then by 25 i
have to buy a car
by 30 i have to buy a house and that was
a way forward for me
and all along you know there were a lot
of words that were thrown at me
um like profession and passion and
ambition
and not once that i sit down and really
think about whether they all
meant the same thing or anything
different i
felt like if i picked a profession
um you know in something that i was
passionate about it was
a sure short ladder to success
so i started looking at all my passions
and i had varying passions you know like
i was passionate about
baking i was passionate about helping
animals i was passionate about
traveling i was passionate about
performing so i did
between career paths i wanted to be
a veterinarian doctor at one time i
wanted to be a pilot for the longest
time
i wanted to be an actor it’s only
much later did i realize my mistake
is why i’m talking about it today my
parents actually sat me down
and they told me a story which
completely
changed my life it’s about a
twenty-something girl
who’s one aim in life
was to be successful that’s all she
wanted that’s all she thought about she
woke up and she was thinking about being
successful when she was sleeping
she thought about being successful she
dreamed of being successful
so she went to her mentor and she asked
him can you please give me the key to
success
and she kept asking him kept asking him
kept asking him until one point he told
her okay meet me
on the beach at five in the morning so
she went really excitedly and said oh my
god today’s the day i’m going to
you know get the key to success
so she showed up and he said i’m going
to ask you two questions
and she agreed um she asked her
how badly do you want to be successful
and she said extremely badly that’s all
i want
i’ve not slept all night this is exactly
what i’m made for i want to be
successful
so he said okay um you know enter the
ocean
so i mean a little skeptically she
ventured in and he kept telling her to
go further and further in so she kept
moving forward into the deep ocean
and she kept swimming until a point when
she started to drown
and then she was clawing and gasping for
breath and yelling help
help help and after some time um
her her mentor went and he rescued her
and got her back to the show and when
she
gained back her consciousness she was
exasperated she
was livid she was just like are you
insane i could have died
and he said oh i need to ask you my
second question she couldn’t understand
what was wrong with him
that you know she was almost about to
die and he wanted to ask her the second
question but he did
he asked her when you were under water
what was that one thing you wanted
and she said i wanted to breathe what
else i mean are you
like have you completely lost it and you
said to her very calmly
when you want to succeed as much as you
want to breathe
then you will be successful this story
absolutely changed my mind i realized
that i was passionate about wanting to
buy a car at 25
and buy a house at 30 and
only when you’re really really
passionate about something can you use
it as inertia to propel you
further in life i’d already set these
milestones in my
in my head without having a path to
build them on so that’s what my parents
told me they told me to create a path
for myself before
i even begin setting milestones for
myself
and they sat me down calmly and they
told me to think about what i really
enjoyed doing and what
i could see myself doing for the rest of
my life
and that’s when i shifted my focus
towards performing
i was performing in school and college
all my life like
i used to take part in debate
competitions
in poem recitations in dramatics in
theater
state level national level and that was
truly the time that i would
really come alive and i would be really
happy
and i had a realization that performing
is that one thing
i wanted to do as much as i wanted to
breathe
but that was just the beginning of my
journey that was a long way ahead
any profession that you pick is laced
with tons of hard work
a lot of blood sweat and tears and joy
so i started working hard towards what
made me happy
um i finally got the confidence to pick
it as a profession and
up until then i could never look at
myself in the mirror and
say confidently that you know i want to
make a profession out of this
but i started doing classes i started
auditioning
and that’s how i began working and it’s
been a beautiful journey up until now
and it’s just the beginning
but i was wondering why was i so fearful
why didn’t i ever take the plunge
you know a lot of us look right and left
before crossing the road
you know i don’t know if any of you do
that but i do that all
the time and i realize why can’t we just
use
that and apply to our real life you know
just be cautious instead of being
fearful cross that role
but be cautious and you know work hard
towards it so that
you become certain let’s not be fearful
you know if this also still doesn’t help
you you know give you clarity about what
probably you want to do
in your life then i’m sure you guys have
at some point use you know these
apps which help you find directions like
google maps or anything like that
and you know when the artificial
intelligence asks you
in 150 meters turn right
without batting an eyelid we turn right
so when your heart truly tells you that
shaya
i don’t want to be a copywriter i want
to be an actor
why are we so fearful why do we think
twice
why why are we so scared to fail
yes we all want to pay bills and nobody
wants to fail but
we can learn from our failures and you
have only one life
and a very wise man once said
buddy honey i really believe in that
concept
so i did exactly that and i really feel
that that is one
idea which has really changed my life
and i hope it can help you change yours
but there’s another factor that comes
into all of this
and that again is pressure pressure
pressure
how do we create an environment that is
devoid of any kind of pressure
how can we create an environment that
when we’re taking decisions
we’re not pressurized by any kind of
factors be it external or self-inflicted
that will only happen if you not only
follow your dreams but you allow other
people to follow their dreams as well
live and let live you know when you see
somebody turning
right in their life and they can be
turning right as many times as they want
when you realize that somebody is doing
something that they want to do as much
as they want to breathe
support them you know help your friends
and family
be there for them um if they falter pick
them up
you know and that’s the only way we can
create a safe environment for ourselves
to make decisions that are devoid of any
kind of pressure
you know when i hear of a doctor
becoming a dancer
or an engineer becoming an actor i also
hear people say
what a waste of a seat you know if
that’s what they wanted to do why didn’t
they do it from the beginning
or when a lawyer becomes a dancer or any
profession
any you know there’s a switch in any
kind of profession you will hear people
say oh maybe
that person wasn’t good at what they did
um so they were just wasting their time
let’s not do that let’s not judge people
let them be
you know let people make their mistakes
and learn from their mistakes and let’s
help
each other um to sum it up i just want
to say that
don’t make your life all about picking a
singular
passion and making a career out of it
choose your profession for the right
reasons and trust me your passions will
follow
i want to end this speech with something
that a mere cat and a warthog taught me
hakuna matata