What to do when everything feels broken Daniel Alexander Jones
“I’ve got people in me.”
So sang the late Abbey Lincoln.
I take that lyric as mantra.
“I’ve got people in me.”
Jomama Jones is the person in me
I turn to as a guide.
She’s my alter ego.
I’ve been embodying her
in performance since 1995,
and she comes around
when she has some insight to offer folks.
At this time of radical change,
I’m glad to be the vessel
for her message to you.
Jomama Jones: What if I told you
it’s going to be alright …
but what if I told you not yet?
What if I told you there are trials ahead
beyond your deepest fears?
What if I told you will you fall …
down, down, down?
But what if I told you
you will surprise yourself?
What if I told you will be brave enough?
What if I told you
we won’t all make it through?
But what if I told you
that is as it must be?
What if I told you I’ve seen the future?
Do you like my hands?
They’re expressive, yeah?
Now look at your hands – now go on.
There’s so much history recorded
through their touches
and marks of the future
sketched on their palms.
Sometimes hands grip tight,
sometimes hands let go.
What if I told you
it’s all going to come undone?
Hm.
Ladies and gentlemen
and otherwise described,
I am Jomama Jones.
Some call me a soul sonic superstar,
and I agree,
though even in my past
that was from the future.
Let me take you back to girlhood.
Picture this:
it was Planting Day,
which was a holiday I invented
for the Black youth
community group I founded.
I dashed home to put on
my gardening ensemble
when I caught my uncle Freeman red-handed.
He was standing over my piggy bank
with his hammer raised high.
He was fixing to steal my coins.
And you see,
my uncle Freeman was a handyman.
He could fix anything –
a broken chair, a shattered pot –
even bring grandmother’s
plants back to life.
He had that magic touch
with broken things …
and broken people.
He would take me with him on his jobs
and say, “C’mon Jo,
let’s go do something
to make this world a better place.”
His hands were wide and calloused,
and they always reminded me
of displaced tree roots.
As we worked he would talk with folks
about the change he was sure
was just around the corner.
I saw him mend flagging hopes
and leave folks
with their heads held high.
His hands stirred the sunshine.
And now he was about
to break my piggy bank.
I said “Step back, man,
and show me your hands.”
You know the irony was
he used to give me all the old coins
he’d find under floorboards while working.
And I put them in the piggy bank
along with the money I earned
through my childhood side hustles.
But by the spring of 1970,
Uncle Freeman had lost his touch …
along with most of his jobs.
He saw a heavy future
of civil wrongs and Black power
outages in his palms.
The last straw had come
the previous winter
when they had gunned down Fred Hampton.
Overwhelmed with fear
and rage
and grief,
Uncle Freeman tried to game his future.
He gripped too tight,
and he started playing the numbers.
“Well, one of these numbers
is gonna hit, little girl.
You got a quarter for your uncle Free – "
Now some of y’all have that relative.
But I knew right then and there
I had to do something.
I jumped up and I grabbed that hammer
and I brought it
crashing down on that pig.
And Uncle Freeman started to weep
as I gathered up all the coins.
“We’re not buying
no lottery ticket, Uncle Freeman.
C’mon.”
We spent every last cent
at the seed store.
You know, the kids in my gardening group?
They didn’t bat an eye
when I had Uncle Freeman get down
and put his hands in the earth again
and start breaking up
that soil for our seeds.
And my little friend Taesha even came over
and started slapping him on the back
saying, “Cry it out, Uncle Freeman.
Cry it out.”
“I can’t fix this,” he sobbed.
It’s an ancient-future truism, that.
He wasn’t the first to feel that way,
and he wouldn’t be the last.
Right now, it feels as though
everything is breaking beyond repair.
It is.
But that breaking apart
can be a breaking open,
no matter how violent and uncertain
and fearsome it seems.
The thing is …
we can’t do it alone.
Uncle Freeman cried so much that day
as we planted our seeds,
he was our very own irrigation system.
“I don’t know who I am
anymore, little girl,”
he said to me at sundown.
“Good, Uncle Freeman.
Good.
You’re new again,
and that’s just how we need you.”