Why Being Whole Is Necessary
[Applause]
once divorced
twice married mother of one though of
course some sites say that i have two
children i don’t know where the second
one
is a wife a daughter a sister
a friend a tv presenter a comper an
actor in all mediums
a radio jockey a model a dubbing artist
but most importantly a woman who has
made all of the above choices
when life handed me that menu why not i
said
i’ve always believed that you are always
given
a choice in life because you are the one
who has the gumption
to handle it so i’ve always said seize
the day and make the most of it
anytime anything comes to you now along
the way you should always do things for
yourself
that make you proud to say that i did
this all on my own steam that’s always
been one of my mantras throughout my
life
uh it’s it’s you know it’s quite quite
an adrenaline rush when you look at
yourself in the mirror
and feel proud of all of the choices
that you’ve made i think everybody would
agree to that
now why that’s the topic for today solve
for y
is a question that kind of only arrives
when we are constantly second guessing
our present okay every time we try to
answer
that question why the variable changes
and we always start questioning
our presence so isn’t it better to find
the solution
for that why before this whole conundrum
comes into
our to our life therein lies the path
to your happiness feeling complete in
yourself independent
of anyone else or anything else now
in my life i’ve done a myriad of things
okay be it personally be it
professionally
at 17 i decided to start modeling
alongside my engineering studies
i got married in my final year of
engineering all of 20
i moved to the uk once i graduated a
young bride at 21 my first marriage
there
once there i i you know i didn’t work as
an engineer i wasn’t one of those people
who
uh you know wanted to go and do an ms or
sit there designing a printed circuit
board i was sushi and there was a whole
lot of other things going on in my head
which i wanted to do but i never
i never planned on the acting okay so
now it’s during this uh stint of work
that i got my first audition this is
where the whole journey began okay i got
my the chance to
my first audition for a french film to
play the lead in a french
film called la prix dune farm which was
about the dowry system in india
having no background in acting i had
only played a mouse
in cinderella in school i had played uh
you know two roles in amateur theater
when i was you know 10 12 years old
in bombay uh uh but just with all of
that
only under my belt i went for this
audition now there were a lot of other
girls over there
uh jennifer jaffrey was the casting
agent there were a lot of other girls
who were all trained
studied in radha shadow you name it all
of these schools and um i remember the
girl in front of me
who went before me uh we were given two
scenes very intense scenes which we had
to learn in 10 minutes and go and do it
for her
and i heard her telling uh i heard her
telling uh jennifer
that um you know we can’t really imbibe
the character
etc etc so it was my turn i went in
there and
ten minutes later so uh uh jennifer told
me why don’t you sit down and do the
reading
now this was as i told you there are two
very intense scenes of the movie where i
had to break down and cry
etc etc but uh when she said please sit
down here and read
i said uh no ma’am i’d like to act out
the scene for you
she said oh okay um how many years have
you been acting
i said uh this is my first audition so
naturally she was a bit surprised and
she said okay fine
it’s all right act out use the papers
it’s fine i said no i don’t want to use
the papers i don’t want to use the
script
i’ll just remember what i remember and i
will make it up along the way
if i forget and uh you just play the
other part
at the end of that audition at the end
of the second scene i had broke
actually broken down i was crying and i
was at her feet at the end of that scene
i will never forget this you know i
really i will never forget this because
this changed my life she picked me up
and she put me on the sofa next to her
and she looked at me straight and she
said so chitra please tell me the truth
how many years have you been acting and
that is what changed my life and that is
what got me to realize that this
is where i want to be this is what i
want to do and and you know this is
where
my journey is supposed to take me so
now do what it takes to turn every stone
you know a friend once told me this this
was a
you know uh this was the start i would
say this movie was the start to me
promising myself to turn
every opportunity into a journey
towards the next adventure in the path
that i had chosen as my career
doing my part honing my skill you know
being the best
at what uh i had chosen to be that was
what was in my mind after that
now post witch another life changing
uh decision you know uh had to be taken
as a drifting apart of
souls happen this i’m talking about
personally my ex-husband
and myself uh well i had to move back to
mumbai while he was posted in tokyo and
that’s what kind of
caused the drifting apart of two people
an amicable uh divorce but this was of
course
i have to admit a hiccup in my personal
life
uh because it was the big decision that
hangs over your head of getting
the divorce and it had to be addressed
now many of my loved ones you know and i
say this for all
uh for all the girls and uh uh all the
people watching
uh you will be influenced by a lot of
people uh people
who you would think you know have your
best in christendom sometimes do
many of my loved ones insisted that i
would be very much happier in tokyo
being mrs so and so yeah but i
i then itself i knew that it didn’t take
anybody else
for me to have my happiness you know i
knew that i could create it for myself
um not being restricted by geographical
boundaries or
uh or personal laws that’s one strength
i’ve always had um
never say never uh you know it and it
didn’t scare me then
it doesn’t scare me now so coming back
to the story at 27 here i was with bags
in hand at my parents house
you know i was the first ever divorced
in my mother’s side of the family in
history
uh you know but the only thing that i
told them as they stood there with their
arms wide open
was that you know i promised to make
something of myself
without compromising on the values that
they had instilled in me and without
stepping on anybody’s toes to get there
you know i’ve always i’ve always said
don’t sit around
waiting for things to happen make those
opportunities happen
for you you know it’s always been my
constant mantra and today at 50 it still
is so this is what urged me
in 1997 to go out there and actually put
it into practice by getting a job
for myself as a dj uh off the very
famous
channel b this is how that happened now
i met the general manager of the channel
at a party and uh um he uh
was you know we were chatting and he
said oh you know i’m the i’m the gm of
this channel called channel b and it’s a
very
it’s a very interesting channel and i
said yes yes actually it is i very
calmly looked at him and i said it’s a
wonderful channel
uh channel b but frankly it’s your loss
that i’m not on it
and uh he was uh he was obviously
very very stumped uh you know he said
really you want to prove it
then in a week’s time he gave me uh you
know the opportunity to get an audition
that’s literally saying that one
sentence
to him you know going out there and
getting it for myself is what i did
and he said uh come in uh next week for
an audition which also led to two weeks
later
uh me getting a call from hong kong
saying that they were creating a show
for me called simply south and that i
was officially now a vj
at channel b so that story happened over
there i tried
at that channel it was the place to be
it was the job to have you know when
you’re still
young per se you know 27 28 uh
and you’ve had things like a divorce
behind you it’s great to be able to
stand on your feet again and prove
something
uh you know to everybody and to yourself
more than anything else
now despite that the actress in me at
that point
uh while i was still a vj at channel b
and comparing jobs started happening
etc the actress and me started getting
opportunities the first of which was the
opportunity to do dance like a man
which was the play uh that i started way
back in 1997
i’m still doing it now 23 years later
650 shows nearly across the world from
new zealand
to the other end of america and the same
four people until last year were doing
it only one person’s changed now
but 23 years you know uh uh and we’re
still doing it as i said
this play dance like a man uh and i’m
still in that so theater started
happening
with this and after that i did a lot a
lot more shows with uh
lillet to bay and primetime theatre
company um
life is not always a bed of roses you
know
rejection at auditions uh people saying
no
which many take as failure yeah i use
them
as stepping stones many take as uh you
know and they take it personally when
you’re rejected
for a job or whatever i still use that
as a stepping stone
uh to be able to take no as an answer is
definitely a very very big strength
to be able to adapt that’s an even
bigger string
adaptability is the biggest strength
that anybody can have
and that has been a major part of our of
my journey
i’m giving my 100 to everything that i
chose to do
you know to to to make something of
anything that people had put their trust
in me knowing that i was the one who
could make a success
uh success of it uh so no one else could
play my part in that and
for that reason i had to give my 100
come come what me in between all of this
love relationships breakups tears
you know all of that followed uh but uh
they all played an important part i
would say
in making sushi who she is today so i
thank every single one of those people
who touched my life in some way who
taught me lessons who broke my heart
into a million pieces
and in spite of that i can truthfully
say that i
i truly and still believe you know in
love and at that time i still knew that
it would find me again
and again and again and again and i
wasn’t gonna get scared by it
but you know um i wasn’t gonna base my
level of happiness
on someone else being in my life or not
at that point
you are enough to make that happen for
yourself you know you can find it all
in in things that you do and you find it
all right there in you
another journey that started happening
of course is music which has always been
part of my life
you know since i was a kid and when i i
connect that with rejections because the
very first project i did was a musical
album which uh
music album which i was completely
rejected by the record company you know
and here was i have stars in my eyes
thinking i’m going to be a pop star
and they rejected it saying that no this
is not the kind of music that people are
listening to right now so sorry
after signing the contract this is what
happened you know so um
as i said don’t allow no’s and don’t
allow rejection to get to you so what
did it do for me it made me actually
start working again
uh you know with another uh uh another
wind under my wings uh
with gusto for my first album which was
called such is life
or suchi’s life which was an indie pop
album which was released in 2011
and uh presently my second album which
is uh you know an ode to the history of
rock and roll that is ready and will be
really soon that’s an english rock album
and i hope
that uh all of you you know get to uh
hear
it sometime now uh enough the job that
i’ve done and i started doing was
that of a dubbing artist um you know
i’ve been responsible for making
uh people like angelina jolie emma
thompson
sorry uh maggie gyllenhaal meryl streep
kate blanchett maggie q many other women
speak convincingly on screen in hindi
believe it or not
so here was another part to play on this
stage called life
how was i going to be able to juggle uh
you know everything
how is that going to be able to balance
this multifaceted career as i said i was
still doing all of these things all
together
time management but it was only me at
that point that i had to think about now
responsibility taking on you know a
family
a husband a child was i going to be able
to do all of this you have all of those
doubts in your head it’s only normal
that you do
but then again i thought i mean an age
is catching up
with me i need to have a baby at the
right time so i did
and it only takes one decision frankly
speaking you know for all of you who are
watching it takes one decision that of
deciding
to make a success of anything that you
take on you know
knowing that you would do the best that
you can
and uh that’s all that’s all that’s
needed you know
my husband for me has been that he’s
been the one with
my wings and he has put that into
practice by
uh you know letting me fly letting me be
the person i
am and uh letting me uh live my life to
the fullest
i would say you know so you’ve got to as
a woman
uh in this day and age all it takes is i
think time management
priority setting selflessness these are
the three things that i would
uh say any working woman needs to know
how to balance it’s
uh so it’s always nice to appreciate the
people who are in your life
you know it takes it takes nothing just
you know once in a while look at them
and say thank you for just being you
thank you for being there for me
and you know you get so much back in
return and you know that they’ll always
always be there
you know and now experience in this in
this day and age the new wave the new
wave of uh
of showbiz you know it’s fascinating
when you have 27 years of experience uh
uh uh behind behind you to see how the
industry has actually evolved
and you know how lucky one has been to
have been part of that
and seen the journey and now being part
of this you know
these life lessons that you know that uh
or you know at least what i call life
lessons what i’ve shared with you today
i also
you know what i what i pray my child
anika kind of imbibes from me that will
be the biggest uh
you know biggest present for me if she
if she gets all of this and she kind of
puts it into practice into her life but
it is her journey you know it’s her ud
journey which she has to take and uh you
know i hope
but she has that strength to turn around
and say anything is possible
so much done so much more to achieve
miles to go before i sleep well it will
never be enough you know for somebody
who loves
doing what they do as much as i do i
think that shows in the in the work that
i do and that’s why i’m still here
that’s why i’m still
uh doing stuff and that’s why you know i
say never say die
there will always be more that you want
to achieve there is there will always be
more that you want to try there will
always be more
that will make you happier and yes that
is all right that’s okay you can think
about all of those things
but solve for your own unique why
after all you are all still here because
you are capable
of finding your own solutions reach for
the stars for there won’t be any more
fences to stop you
all that’s required from you just to do
that is commitment
drive integrity to give it your best
shot
that jupta is what i say till the end of
your days
that’s what you need to do give it your
100 and that’s what makes for a life not
wasted