I Am Bold Bald and Beautiful
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
you’re too short
you’re too skinny you’re too
fat oh my gosh you have a gay
child you don’t have any kids yet at
this age
tell me you make more than a hundred and
fifty thousand dollars a year
is this the neighborhood you live in
i only got 150 likes for that story
i must not be good enough
that is enough
imagine the power of challenging what
society deems successful
beautiful and acceptable
by recognizing and honoring
the greatness that dwells within and
then inviting the world to experiencing
it
who am i many people live a lifetime
unable to discover the answer there’s a
poem by bevan lee that says
i am two of the most powerful words for
what you put after them
shapes your reality i can say that when
i reflect on my life
it took me decades to discover
understand and walk in my
i am so when did i finally
begin living when did i finally
take my first breath take a walk with me
it’s a typical friday night
it’s preparing for my next day
gazing in the mirror
preparing to get my weave done the next
day
and as i was gazing in the mirror
i can tell you that something came
over me like a ton of bricks
i can’t begin to tell you what it was
except
that it was a feeling of being
done done with being preoccupied with
what other people thought of me
done with hiding the reality that i
could no longer grow hair
done with being uncomfortable in my
own skin just to make other people
around me feel comfortable about how i
look
done with not living because of what
grows
and what does not grow out of the top of
my head
see i was done
in that moment i called my super stylist
and i said
i’m done tomorrow when i come in i’m
shaving it all off
and i’m not bringing in any hair because
i can’t chicken out in this moment
i had to be all in
she on the other end of the phone said
are you sure
i couldn’t have been more sure of
anything in my life in that moment you
see
for us it had been a five year journey
five years of me going to her salon
after hours so that no one could see
what was under my mask
called to weave five years of me sitting
in her chair
weeping because i was ashamed
five years of her holding that space for
me
so that i could be vulnerable even if
just for that moment
five years of me living in a box that
had become
too small too small
too confining too limiting and each time
i would try to flatten my wings
to flourish and grow i was reminded that
i was
tethered to that box
you see my hair was only symbolic
of a bigger issue my bigger issue
is that i had an identity crisis
so this journey for me it wasn’t easy
but it was necessary i would always ask
her
what if i just shaved it off her serious
reply
you will when you’re ready
so walk in the salon saturday
preparing to spend my entire saturday in
the salon
it was packed usually it’s just me and
my stylist but this day there was
no chair empty
and so i walk in and i’m thinking oh my
word i chose
this day to be bold
there was no turning back for me now
so i sat in her chair
she said are you ready
let’s do it she pulled off my scarf
exposing my male balding hair pattern
she then pulled out the clippers
she began to shave
shaving the weight that i had carried
since i was
10 years old shaving the preconceived
ideas
i had about beauty shaving to reveal the
core
of me i am not my hair
and as she shaved we both cried cried
tears of joy
and celebration of true liberty i was
finally free i was finally
a lover of me i was finally
unapologetically me
i am free
we are free
i left that place a completely different
person
i left that place no longer being
consumed by the
uninformed opinions that people had of
me i wore a different kind of confidence
instead
i wore my i am my i am of
strength my i am of perseverance
tenacity kindness and generosity
i sat shade out of that place like no
one could believe
people were so complimentary
what i recognize is they weren’t
responding necessarily
to this yes it’s a bit shocking but it
wasn’t this that they were responding to
what they were responding to
is the work that i had done from the
inside
that then permeated outward for the
world to see
you see beauty that’s an inside job
ask yourself these questions
what is my i am
who am i at my core that i can then
unleash to let the world experience
what can i summons from within when life
happens because life happens and it hits
us hard
what can you call upon your strength
your perseverance your tenacity your
eagerness
so that you can persevere and be strong
thrive and have peace
and as we begin to work on ourselves
there’s one thing that we can’t forget
there’s a generation coming behind us
what are we doing to model what it means
to really
live in our i am what examples
are we setting for them
why because they’re watching
be well be great
and most importantly be you
you